Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Rehoming one of our cats...

20 replies

wheresmymojo · 11/10/2021 12:15

I wanted to get some input on a very difficult topic. Sorry for the long explanation, trying not to drip feed and give the context...

We have had a very bad pandemic time financially...we were both out of work (me) or unable to work very much (DH, personal trainer).

We had savings but these were all quickly used up and we have £10k HMRC debt and about £25k of other debt now.

I've spoken to Stepchange and we are negotiating payment plans as the only step open to us before bankruptcy (we don't qualify for other solutions like IVA).

We've both been working again since March but DH is building a business back up so earning less than before and I've had to take a job that is half my previous earnings (going back to my previous salary would mean working in financial services and I can't because our credit history is too bad to get a job in financial services!).

In summary our finances are really and truly up the shitter.

We may, or may not, make it through the next 12 mths without being declared bankrupt and we have barely any money.

We have 4 cats who we love dearly. I've previously been a foster carer for Cats Protection and never, ever thought I would ever rehome any pet of mine.

However I told a friend a few months ago that we were considering rehoming one of our girls as she has a chronic skin condition which isn't covered by our pet insurance.

This condition varies so some months can cost £0 and others months costs £200 depending on what treatment she needs.

Although she's 9 years old (and I've had her since a kitten) she's beautiful and super affectionate so would have no problem finding a new home (and I think would possibly prefer being an only cat as she's very clingy and doesn't exactly love sharing with the other three).

My friend reacted by telling me that I was disgusting for considering rehoming...that when she got divorced she would have had a caravan on her parents drive before rehoming her cat, and then refused to speak to me again. She has blocked me on social media since that day.

To be clear I'd never rehome in any other circumstances but we are in a desperate financial state.

To put in context one of our other cats nearly died over the summer and we borrowed (more) money from family to pay the £4K vet costs on top of the £3k paid by his insurance as we couldnt put money above his life (he is only 4 and in good health now he's had his op).

We can afford to keep the other 3 as they have insurance with no pre-existing conditions that are excluded and (touch wood) the insurance should cover most things hoping that we don't have any other unusual circumstances like the one over summer over the next 24 months (in 2 years time we will be in a much better financial position and will be able to afford to increase the insurance limit from £3k per cat to £12k per cat again).

I feel like my friend is being unfair - we were sensible and had savings...we couldn't predict a global pandemic leaving us both out of work for more than 12 months!

Even if we sold our house we wouldn't have enough left over to buy a caravan to put on our parents drive (!) and if we moved in with parents they wouldn't take our cats too so even her fairly extreme solution wouldn't be workable for us...

I feel like rehoming one cat and being stable financially for the other 3 is better than the alternative...but her extreme reaction has made me doubt everything...would appreciate other input

Please be fairly gentle as I was sobbing my heart out at the thought of rehoming one of my girls who I've nurtured for 9 years Sad

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 11/10/2021 12:35

I'm not convinced that a cat which could cost £200 a month invest fees is going to be easy to rehome.

Is this the sort of vet treatment that the PDSA could help with?

Time40 · 11/10/2021 12:35

You are doing the right thing, and your so-called "friend" is an idiot.

Sorry you have to give up your beloved cat, OP.

TaraR2020 · 11/10/2021 12:42

You're not bad in anyway for considering removing, you're doing the sensible thing for all of you (cat included) although I'm sure it's heartbreaking. Take your time to find the right family for her by looking sooner than later, so your hand doesn't get forced.

Also maybe speak to your vets and see if they offer a payment plan or in-house 'club' that may reduce cost of treatment.

Good luck Flowers

Cissyandflora · 11/10/2021 12:50

Is this one cat really standing between you and bankruptcy?
I could never give a pet away but I know lots of people do.
If it’s the right decision for you you’ll just have to do it and not worry about what your friend thinks. I hope you really can find a good home for her though.

Seasonschange · 11/10/2021 12:51

A 9 year d cat that has an incurable expensive skin condition may as well be put down rather than rehomed. Sorry op

RunnerDown · 11/10/2021 12:56

That’s so sad for you. I have a cat that needs regular visits to the vet and the costs really mount up. I’m sure you have thought long and hard about it , but given your current situation it’s a totally reasonable thing to do. Don’t let your friend make you feel guilty .

PleasantFucker · 11/10/2021 12:57

Honestly it's up to you and no one else's opinions matter. If you think that it's for the best then try to re-home her.
You might find someone who wants her or you might not. It's probably a good idea to think about what you'll do if you can't re-home her though.

Hohofortherobbers · 11/10/2021 12:59

Who on earth would take in a 9 year old cat with a condition so unpredictably expensive that the current owners fear it will bankrupt them? Confused

Original poster
wheresmymojo · 11/10/2021 13:04

@SoupDragon

I'm not convinced that a cat which could cost £200 a month invest fees is going to be easy to rehome.

Is this the sort of vet treatment that the PDSA could help with?

The PDSA only help people on benefits and we don't receive (and aren't eligible for) any benefits

OP posts:
Original poster
wheresmymojo · 11/10/2021 13:06

@Cissyandflora

Is this one cat really standing between you and bankruptcy? I could never give a pet away but I know lots of people do. If it’s the right decision for you you’ll just have to do it and not worry about what your friend thinks. I hope you really can find a good home for her though.

Well it's not exactly that cut and dry - there are lots of things that could force our hand since we don't even have 50p in savings. So we're on a financial precipice every day - if anything happens like a boiler breaking down, the car breaking down, etc we are in a serious pickle.

But obviously regular vet bills aren't sustainable at the moment.

OP posts:
Shmithecat2 · 11/10/2021 13:08

I understand why you feel that it's the most sensible option, but I'm not sure that the cat will be as easy to rehome as you think...

Original poster
wheresmymojo · 11/10/2021 13:09

@Seasonschange

A 9 year d cat that has an incurable expensive skin condition may as well be put down rather than rehomed. Sorry op
We live in a very wealthy area so I think it could be possible.

It's not £200 every month. It can go away for a few months and then when it flares up can be between £80-200 that month.

If the choice comes down to her being put down because no-one will rehome her then obviously we'd do everything we can to keep going with the vets bills.

We've already cut everything else that we can think of - our only other expenses are food, petrol for commute, utilities, council tax, etc.

OP posts:
curiouscatgotkilled · 11/10/2021 13:10

I dont think you are being unreasonable. I adore my pets but they are animals and you have to do your best for them but not put them before the humans in the family.
Talk to the Blue Cross, they are really helpful in these circumstances and can re-home the cat while she stays with you. Though it wont be easy to find someone to take her on, you may have to consider PTS.

Original poster
wheresmymojo · 11/10/2021 13:11

@Hohofortherobbers

Who on earth would take in a 9 year old cat with a condition so unpredictably expensive that the current owners fear it will bankrupt them? Confused
It's not the cat that's bankrupting us Hmm

It's the pandemic that's bankrupted us!

I have previously rehomed a 10 year old cat (no longer with us) with chronic kidney problems because I had disposable income and knew he wouldn't otherwise have much of a chance.

Plenty of people in my area have a lot of disposable income (as did we before the pandemic!)

OP posts:
BFrazzled · 11/10/2021 13:18

OMG op, you are silly to even be asking this question.

If anything it is reasonable to rehome all your cats, and yep, put down if the push comes to shove. You cannot afford to keep them and they are animals. At least they had a nice life with you while it lasted.

To the people judging you I would just remind that homeless animals in the UK are routinely put down, so instead of judging they better go and adopt an old cat from the nearest shelter (or indeed contribute from their own money to their upkeep in the shelter).

SummerHouse · 11/10/2021 13:19

You can't afford her, and you want to find a home that will possibly be better for her. You are a good person and a responsible owner. Absolutely do this. I understand people will say they would never do this. They haven't walked in your shoes for that last 18 months. Forgive them thier ignorance. Flowers

Want2beme · 11/10/2021 15:47

Don't sell your house, whatever you do! Could you ask Cats Protection if they have any kind of financial assistance programme for vet bills, especially as you've fostered for them. I'm not sure if that's thing. If not, it bloody well should be, just to help working people who've fallen on hard times.

Could you actually save the amount of money you'd have to pay for his insurance each month? It might not be much, but it'd help towards that big bill that happens from time to time. If you were my friend, I'd offer to take on the financial strain of him until you were in a better position. Would a member of your family sponsor him? This might seem unusual, but you never know.

Is there any possibility of either of you taking on a 2nd job, until things start to improve for you?

I hope you don't have to give him up. If you do, try one of the bigger re-homing places like Battersea.

Good luck!

icedcoffees · 11/10/2021 17:42

This is a really tough one I think.

The topic of rehoming pets is always sensitive and people get very emotional when they think about it, so maybe your friend reacted rashly because of it.

However the reality is that if you try and re-home an older cat with skin conditions that could cost £200 per month, the likelihood is that it will be put to sleep. People don't want to take on pets with existing illnesses that will cost them hundreds of pounds a month before they even think about food, insurance and regular bills.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 11/10/2021 17:57

Not prying but a debt to hmrc can be repaid over a much longer period than they are prepared to tell you... Even longer if you fill in a financial disclosure form.. I took 6 years to pay back a previous overpayment..

.

Vinorosso74 · 11/10/2021 18:07

One question about the skin condition. Is it triggered by stress? You say she doesn't like sharing with the other 3 cats?
Do approach Cats Protection if you used to foster for them, do you know the people at your local one as they may be able to give you some advice.
Some smaller rescues may know people who would take on such a cat. I would avoid RSPCA and Battersea.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page