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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Overly boisterous cat

19 replies

Plump82 · 06/10/2021 22:36

We have 2 cats, brother and sister. Boy cat is huge and girl cats tiny so a huge difference in size.
Every so often (and more recently) boy cat won't leave her alone, wrestling with her and making her squeal. We do split them up when it gets too much for her. She does do some chasing as well but as she's so small, she can't defend herself. She does tiny little, quiet hissing but nothing to tell him to back off. No spitting, hackles up etc though. I don't believe he's being aggressive, just boisterous.
Does anyone have any suggestions what I can do?
They don't hate each other as they groom and snuggle but it just sometimes gets too much and I worry if I ever need to go back to working in the office and they're left alone (they were on 9 months when I started working from home so never really been on their own much)
I'm planning on getting new toys this weekend to try and tire him out but can i try anything else?

OP posts:
seekings1mplicity · 06/10/2021 22:38

I take it boy cat is already neutered, OP?

seekings1mplicity · 06/10/2021 22:40

(I had a size/strength mismatch with my boys when they were kittens, and neutering the big one earlier did help)

Original poster
Plump82 · 06/10/2021 22:42

Yes they were both neutered at 4.5 months. They're now just over 2 years.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 06/10/2021 22:47

Do they go out? We have sisters who detest each other. It only works as they come and go in the day and sleep far away from each other at night!

Original poster
Plump82 · 06/10/2021 22:53

No, they're house cats. I know that's frowned upon here. They really don't detest each other. It can ages before they have a spat again but just sometimes it gets too much.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 06/10/2021 23:01

Not frowning on it at all! My pair would kill each other if they couldn’t get out. Any chance of cat proofing or a catio? Bit of space between them and tiring the buggers out!

Original poster
Plump82 · 06/10/2021 23:08

Aww sorry I didn't mean you in particular. We live in a flat so unfortunately not. Would love a catio though. We have high ceilings and are about to put some climbing shelves up. Girl cat loves being up high and boy cats a big wimp who doesn't bother because he can never get back down 🤣

OP posts:
Elieza · 06/10/2021 23:13

Shelves sound great.

My two were exactly the same. I had to rescue her as she’s be crying because he was bullying and hurting her.

A water pistol can come in handy if your aim is good!

Labracadabradoodle · 06/10/2021 23:13

I have 4 cats, all neutered, and one will often behave like you describe. I think it's just him exerting a bit of authority over the others. He's not vicious, just being a bit alpha.
Not unlike humans in a way.

Original poster
Plump82 · 06/10/2021 23:24

@Labracadabradoodle

I have 4 cats, all neutered, and one will often behave like you describe. I think it's just him exerting a bit of authority over the others. He's not vicious, just being a bit alpha. Not unlike humans in a way.
He's definitely the alpha although she must be able to look after herself sometimes as while back he had a scuffed nose. He needs a quick bop on the nose to get him to back off! (from her, not me!)
OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 07/10/2021 07:45

Shelves sound great. You can try a beaphur calming plug in on amazon for £10.

Try more than one set of shelves so he can’t resource guard them.

Mumdiva99 · 07/10/2021 08:27

Are you sure it's not just playing? Mine roll around on each other all the time. If she has no hackles or puffed up tail do you need to worry? If she gets her go at chasing that's a good sign too...

Allergictoironing · 07/10/2021 09:30

Boycat is a good 1/3 bigger than Girlcat (6kg to her 4.5kg), and she "wins" more often than him. Like yours they are indoor cats, and again like yours Girlcat is quite bold & goes up as high as she can sometimes, while clumsy thicko Boycat is a big wimp.

Original poster
Plump82 · 07/10/2021 10:06

@fluffycloudland77 we're going to make the shelves like stepping stones so they're dotted around and then put a shelf with some cosy blankets. She loves sitting on top of the doors so I'm sure she'll like a shelf or 2!
@mumdiva99 I think it probably is playing but he takes it too far and she ends up squawking and he doesn't stop.
@allergictoironing our boy is probably about 6kg and last time I was at at the vets with girl she was weighed at only just over 3kg so she's a proper tiny little thing.

Overly boisterous cat
OP posts:
Kotatsu · 07/10/2021 10:44

I have boy girl siblings about the same age, although the size difference isn't dramatic, it is a good pound in weight, and noticeable in general delicacy/heftiness.

When younger, pre and immediately post neuter (they were done about the same age as yours), boy would definitely be getting excited and be attempting to mount her, and a few times a day I'd be yelling at him to leave her alone. (they'd also snuggle nicely)

It's reduced though over time.

These days, most evenings there's a mad 5 minutes after I've gone to bed when I hear boy chasing her, and her hissing at him - despite the size, she's able to hold him off (if not win) by rolling over and deploying all her claws, so it doesn't go on for long, then they calm down and go to sleep/prowl the house (mine are allowed out in the day, but must come in at night).

You could try just keeping splitting them up, or as she is so small, like others suggest, making a place she can get but he can't (very careful hole size choice in a box or something!)

Original poster
Plump82 · 07/10/2021 10:59

@Kotatsu

I have boy girl siblings about the same age, although the size difference isn't dramatic, it is a good pound in weight, and noticeable in general delicacy/heftiness.

When younger, pre and immediately post neuter (they were done about the same age as yours), boy would definitely be getting excited and be attempting to mount her, and a few times a day I'd be yelling at him to leave her alone. (they'd also snuggle nicely)

It's reduced though over time.

These days, most evenings there's a mad 5 minutes after I've gone to bed when I hear boy chasing her, and her hissing at him - despite the size, she's able to hold him off (if not win) by rolling over and deploying all her claws, so it doesn't go on for long, then they calm down and go to sleep/prowl the house (mine are allowed out in the day, but must come in at night).

You could try just keeping splitting them up, or as she is so small, like others suggest, making a place she can get but he can't (very careful hole size choice in a box or something!)

She actually doesn't let me near her to cut her claws, probably best! Hopefully it'll calm down, it's just a horrible noise she makes. Probably sounds worse than it is! She has a tiny wee box on the wardrobe she likes to go in and he just states up longingly at her 😆
OP posts:
seekings1mplicity · 07/10/2021 11:25

Those shelves sound great! I'm sure she'll love them.

Elieza · 07/10/2021 17:09

You might want to put a rubber (rear small) car mat, or rubber backed shower mat on to the shelf so the blankets dont just slide off!

Original poster
Plump82 · 07/10/2021 17:21

@Elieza

You might want to put a rubber (rear small) car mat, or rubber backed shower mat on to the shelf so the blankets dont just slide off!
Good idea! For the bed bit I think we'll do more than just a shelf. Something a bit more enclosed.
OP posts:
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