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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Kitten Behaviour & Neighbour's Cat

5 replies

KittenMama · 02/10/2021 10:49

The title probably doesn't explain it very well but I have a kitten who's just coming up to 6 months at the end of the month.

Neighbours have two cats but one cat that chills out in our garden when no one is out there. I've been advised to wait to neuter our boy until next month as his mum and dad are small and we need him to be as big and strong as possible so he can defend himself in our garden if need be. Neighbour's cat is massive in comparison.

However, we need him to get outside and burn off energy as soon as possible. He's got so many toys he plays with but after getting bored (with a spinning interactive toy, feathers, lasers, wind up mice, tinfoil, DD's teddies that he steals, her fluffy hair bobbles, etc.) he's running up and down, trying to jump on DD's head whilst eating and attack play with me and DH that gets out of hand quickly or comes without much warning. We were advised to move away but he's now attacking to get us to move out of our seats so he can lay there. I've unfortunately resorted to keeping a spray bottle of water for when it gets too much and never wanted to do this. DH and I have scratches all over us, he's generally gentler with DD and will actually give her more warning so she's been moving away. Although, this week he did kind of grab her hair and hit her on the face (without claws) completely unprovoked whilst we watched a film recently. As a result, I put him in the hallway for 10 minutes to calm down. We do tend to do this after incidents with us if we can but can't do it so much when DD is in bed as he will then run upstairs, jump on her whilst she sleeping and wake her up.

Since our boy is more conscious of "the outdoors", he sits by our full length window/door and watches the birds. The last 2 weeks, the neighbour's cat comes to the back window and rolls around on the floor showing it's belly, gets up and they start batting eachother through the window. There have been some days it comes by 2 or 3 times a day. My kitten has started sleeping there on the mat now.

My question is, does the behaviour with the neighbour's cat sound positive? I can't work out if it's submission, trying to lure him into a false sense of security or just general play.

Secondly, am I right in thinking he's reached puberty and once he's neutered and running around outside this will ease off a bit? He's such a loving boy, really tolerant of DD and they love each other greatly. Me and DH also enjoy the snuggles and play with toys with him. Really need some behavioural advice on him/reassurance that this will settle down.

OP posts:
AwkwardPaws27 · 02/10/2021 10:53

I'd suggest adopting another kitten of similar age so he has an appropriate playmate. I wish I'd done that with mine, he may not have bothered older cat as much or climbed me so frequently...
My 18 month old was neutered at 11 weeks by the rescue; he's massive Grin but I appreciate I don't know his parents sizes.

maofteens · 02/10/2021 11:03

I've never heard that neutering stunts growth! Mine are getting done in a couple weeks when they are just over five months, they are Maine Coons and are pretty big already.
And cats can't 'lure into false sense of security'! They pretty much live in the here and now. Sounds like your neighbour's cat is being friendly.
Watch My Cat from Hell (not sure what channel but I believe on Amazon Prime too). Or else consult an actual behaviourist. But playing with the cat until tired out is frequently prescribed.

KittenMama · 02/10/2021 11:26

Thanks for the responses!

I hadn't heard that either really. But my last kitten was always a tiny cat and he was done at 5 months so I just assumed the vet knew what they were on about!

I do think sometimes it stems from lack of attention/jealousy at the moment it happens. For example, if I'm working, he'll attack. If me and DH are sitting holding hands, he will get in between us and occasionally snuggle in but will try to attack mostly and will stop if I move sofas. However, sometimes it's gentler with no claws, other times it's quite severe and I've got a few bad scars from him now. If DD is having a hug, he wants to sit and snuggle at the same time.

I've asked DH to consider another one so they can play together but he's flat out said no. To be fair, our boy is very full on at the moment. There have been a few days where I have unfortunately regretted deciding to take him. I know DH has had enough at times too. However, I do see it as difficult days with children, the next day is a new day and hopefully it won't be like it forever.

I'm really hoping him going outside to play helps!

OP posts:
TheLongRider · 02/10/2021 12:22

I think the neutering and outside play will help a lot. Mine have always calmed down after neutering.

Showing off your tummy is a sign of trust. Is there any growling from either side? It would seem as if the neighbourhood cat would like a playmate. Several of my cats are mates with neighbouring cats and go and hang out in each other's gardens.

KittenMama · 02/10/2021 21:32

Thank you! Going to try and get a chip activated cat flap which will prevent him being followed inside and he'll know he's safe

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