I just lost my cat and I am beyond devastated

[meadow89]

When I lost my Gigi I thought I will never love another kitty and then we got Milo. He was the sweetest cat and my little Velcro boy. I loved him so much I couldn’t stand to be apart from him. I built him a catio so he had safe access to outside. I bought him from a reputable breeder to make sure he is healthy and I spent every penny I had spare on him and every minute of my time showing him how much I loved him. I WFH so we were inseparable.

He has persistent pneumonia and died yesterday during a procedure which was supposed to help diagnose him. He already had a course of antibiotics and his pneumonia reoccurred so the vet did a bronchial lavage test. He was only 8 months old he didn’t seem that ill he was playing and cuddling with me lots the day before. He was strong and I never thought his little heart would stop. How do I exist without him? Now I read the risk of death this procedure carries is 6% and I feel like a fool for not exploring other options :(
I am blaming myself I am blaming the vet it's just shocking and I don't know how to get through this.

Oh I'm so sorry, I've lost a cat after surgery and I feel incredible guilt to this day. But, you were acting on professional advice, you were trying to help him and it may be that it was something that was going to happen anyway, you were acting with the best of intentions.
I see so many cats that are living rough and who have nobody to care for them that live pretty awful lives, yours was loved and cared for to the end, it is incredibly sad that his life was so short, but in many ways he was a lucky cat to have such a caring owner.

Hey @meadow89 I’m so sorry to hear this. I got a cat from the Shelter 6 weeks ago and already I can’t imagine life without him.

Would it help to think that this was his time, and he wasn’t in any pain? He was destined to have a wonderful life with you, where he had everything he could wish for, and he was very happy. It was shorter than you thought and would have wished for, but that’s what it is. It sounds like he had a wonderful life and was so lucky to have a Mum who WFH and loved him as much as you did.

Now Milo is with Gigi, and both are hoping that all the love you gave both of them doesn’t stay with you, but that you (whisper) think about another little cat. There will be one out there who needs you, and is waiting for you to find him. Maybe at a Shelter, maybe at breeder…..when you are ready, go out and take your big heart and find another sibling for Gigi and Milo.

To add, there was a 94% chance that the procedure would have been fine, given the odds I would probably have gone ahead too.

I'm so sorry, that is heart breaking.

I’ll add as well, I would have gone ahead with the surgery with a 96% chance success rate. You aren’t to blame for saying yes to it - it was just so, so unlucky.

You need to forgive yourself, you did what a professional advised and it was very, very unlucky that he passed like that.

You did everything you should to be a good cat owner.

It's a massive shock losing a beloved pet so young.
You did your best for him, it's not your fault.
You need to grieve him and then maybe think about getting another one.
I have had cats all my life and you never forget them.

Thank you all. I am so distraught I can't eat and work has been really difficult I still can't believe this has happened

So sorry OP, it really is heart breaking when they leave us, Doesn't matter if they have been in our lives for 5 mins or 5 years. The effect is the same. I would have done the same with a lower success rate, you are not to blame. You wanted the best for your lovely cat, you can't do anymore than that. Thinking of you

You did everything you could. So sorry for your loss.

So sorry.