Help me decide what to do.

[ForeverTeach]

I am feeling very emotional at the moment and don’t know if it’s clouding my judgement so please be kind and help me.

My cat is 18 1/2 a pure breed Burmese with three legs. He is a beautiful boy and I love him to bits. He has been ill for a while and obviously has some form of cat dementia. He forgets his food and needs to be picked up and taken to it, as with his litter box sometimes. In the last year he has had two fits. In the last month he has started to wet himself and needs to be bathed daily. (Not a problem he has never minded bathing!) He is struggling to walk and often collapses for a rest. Yesterday I put him in his litter box and he went to the toilet but then just laid in his box. I let him to see if he would come out but he didn’t, I had to get him. I am going to take him to the vets and a part of me thinks this is it and I am scared to make the appointment. Does anyone have words of wisdom?

Sorry to say it sounds like he's gone past the point i would have let him go. Really look at his quality of life. Do the right thing for him.

I'm so sorry, I know its heartbreaking but I think it's time. I'm so sorry, op

Fuck, fuck, fuck! I was hoping someone would say there is a miracle cure for him. I know it’s selfish but I cannot bring myself to do it.

I know, it's a dreadful time and so hard to recognise the right time when you're in the midst of it, particularly because we always hope for a miracle cure. The vet will advise you if there's another option but you should prepare yourself

You have to do the right thing for him, heartbreaking as it is.

Thank you everyone, I knew this would be the case. I just know I will never find another cat like him and I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s making me so upset.

So sorry, OP. I'm facing the same decision with my little boy and I just don't know how I'm going to live through it. It'll be like amputating a part of me.

It's a hard decision to take with a much loved pet. Sounds like he has had a wonderful life with you.
See what the vets says but the quality of life is important.

I think the fact that you're posting this, means you think it is time.
I'm so sorry.

It really is the last act of love you can give a much loved companion.

I'm so sorry. It sounds like it's time to let him go. If the vet agrees it is time, remember a pain-free passing is the last gift you can give him.

I know it's heartbreaking. Our lovely 13-year-old moggy had to be PTS earlier this month. It was the kindest thing to do but we miss her so much.

It's time. I've been there. It's horrible. Hand hold for you.

I am so sorry deeplyambivalent, it’s truly heartbreaking. I know your all right, I just can’t bare to make the call. I searched on google and everyone was saying do what you can to keep them going and that their cats lived to 20 and beyond! I just though maybe someone would say suck it up, you're being selfish.

In fact I guess that’s what I was really hoping for and not the truth.

You must do the best for him, it’s time to let go.
He’s had 18!! Lovely years and now he needs you to do what’s right.

I think it’s time.

Thank you, isn’t it funny how the internet works, you’ve all be so kind. My friends think I am barking mad to have been bathing him and carrying him around. The hormones are in full force tonight, I’ve been sobbing like a mad woman.

You're not mad. You just love him and it's always hard to accept you're going to lose them. The years with them always seem to have flown by.

I have cried every time we have lost one of ours. So have the DC. So has DH. They are family.

Be kind to yourself. It sounds like he couldn't have been more loved.

Be kind to yourself. You live with him and each time he declines you've probably thought, well he's bad but he's not that bad yet" but now maybe you've actually looked at him properly. Telling us what he's like, we can see that he's not a very well cat. Seems like maybe it was the litter tray incident. Cats are scrupulously clean. He would never choose to lay down in his litter tray if he could help it.

What you have to remember is that right now, this is as good as he's ever going to get. There's no cure for old age sadly.

Forever
It sounds like you have a very difficult decision to make. You are obviously, like any of us would be, distraught. I feel for you, and am actually shedding a tear right now. You have to do the right thing for your old boy which is clearly to let him go now. There are far worse things for an animal (and a human) than a peaceful, pain free death.
My heart goes out to you, I known how hard it is. Stay strong and do the right thing.
X

I say this as someone who has had to recently take this awful decision.
All my love to you, your family and your lovely boy. X

Am so sorry OP, this has made me well up. It’s so heartbreaking to be in this situation, but it really does sound as though you need to end his suffering sooner rather than later.

It’s bloody painful for you, but it’s the biggest act of love you will ever have done for him. Way beyond the carrying and cleaning. It will be your “thank you” for the years of unconditional love he’s given to you.

It will break your heart, there is no getting away from that. And any replies on here may not resonate with you for quite a while, as you will be working through the grief. And you’ll probably want to punch anyone who says it will get better after time.

But I promise you that, eventually, no matter how the grief takes you, you will at some point find an inner peace with the fact that you helped him to pass without further suffering. You’ll still love him, you’ll still miss him, but you will know that you bravely showed him just how much you love him.

And post on here whenever you need to. Pretty much everyone knows how you are/will be feeling.