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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Really old cat and increasing toilet issues

35 replies

polkadotpjs · 21/08/2021 17:04

Be gentle. We've got a 19 year old girl who's been getting worse and worse in terms of where she pees and poos.
She's been going on clothes- think discarded pjs in bathroom or blanket thrown off the bed in the night in kids room. We changed litter and it got worse so went back to wood based as I think the more gravelly ones weren't to her taste.
Just been away for few days and my house stinks now upstairs where she is living - found poo in son's room under a cushion on his rug. She's weed on bath mat and I think missed her tray on the landing. I've put more trays out and trying to ensure nothing left on floor but it's not guaranteed. She has been checked by vet who thought thyroid or kidney issues but all bloods clear so said she may just be confused. She mainly sleeps but does hop up onto windowsills for a nosy- moves from one bedroom to another according to the sun. She doesn't seem in pain and comes for cuddles/ wakes me at 5am hungry, so is ok but the smell and wonder about where I'll find the next toilet accident.
Can I do anything extra? I'm keeping an eye on her but she seems happy enough in herself. Thank you. And please be kind. I'm just finding it hard and kids don't want friends round because of it 😢😢

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GoodVibesHere · 21/08/2021 17:51

I'm a cat lover, I've always had cats. One lived to be 21, another to 18. But there just comes a time when you can't keep going, the toilet issues become too much to deal with. It's awful for everyone concerned but I would at that age be seriously thinking that the cat's time has come. Because you know the situation rarely improves once they get to that age, and you can't live like that.

Original poster
polkadotpjs · 21/08/2021 19:19

I've just had a little tear as I think you're right. It's just not manageable and it's affecting my relationship with DH too. 19 is a good old age isn't it?

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AllTheOtherCats · 21/08/2021 19:43

Hello Polkadot

How high are the sides on her litter trays? Do you think she may be avoiding/missing them because she's having trouble climbing in and out? Both my two elderly girls had this problem and I ended up buying potting trays from the garden centre to use for their litter - the type that have a low dip in the front. Just a thought x

GoodVibesHere · 21/08/2021 20:03

It really is unbearably sad and awful when the time comes to take the decision, but 19 is a good age for a cat.

Normally cats are so clean and (as you know) they really do like to look after themselves in that sense and wouldn't want to leave mess everywhere they go. So the cat's dignity comes in to the equation too.

It's horribly hard to make the final decision though, particularly when your cat doesn't appear to be in pain, it makes you feel awful.

I'm sure your cat has had a lovely long life and wouldn't want to go on forever. And there really is only so much you can deal with as a family with the aim of prolonging the cats life. This would be different if the cat was 8 years old or whatever, you'd have to work ways around it and find out how to change the situation.

TamzinGrey · 21/08/2021 20:31

We lost our old girl 4 years ago. She was 21. We put up with the weeing and pooing all over the place for ages, because she couldn't help it, and we loved her so much.
In the end we had to have her PTS for other reasons. Looking back I always regret that we let her carry on for so long with no dignity. She'd always been such a fastidiously clean girl, and it must have been horrible for her. I've never stopped feeling guilty for letting her carry on like that, and it still makes me cry just thinking about it.
Do what you think is best op and don't feel bad about it

Original poster
polkadotpjs · 21/08/2021 21:00

@AllTheOtherCats I already changed trays to low ones and they have a dipped front
@TamzinGrey it's horrible isn't it? But you're right. She's a clean girl- always went in the garden until about 2 years ago and not inside at all and when I have seen her do it she's looked a bit sad. I don't shout at her obviously. I'm just getting really upset at keep finding it and it being upsetting for the children having their bedrooms messed in. She has lost weight but really gradually so vet said could be a tumour going on but that would be it and she didn't think fair to do more tests so I think we are coming to the decision
I've given her tuna today and will do again tomorrow and ring the surgery Monday I think 😭😭😭

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AllTheOtherCats · 21/08/2021 21:04

Thinking of you Polkadots. And your lovely old girl. It's so difficult and so sad but you know your kitty better than anyone and it sounds like she's been a much loved oneThanks

mineofuselessinformation · 21/08/2021 21:16

I'm so sorry you are in this situation, @polkadotpjs.
I was too. My old boy was somewhere around 21/22 (rescue). Never, ever had toileted anywhere other than litter tray / outside.
I made the decision, as hard as it was for me to let him go....
In the last two years of his life he had learnt that he liked being cuddled like a baby. He also found his purr too! (He had always purred, but you could only feel it, never hear it.)
He was pure black when I got him (sadly, probably why he hadn't found a home before), but by the end had all white whiskers and a white undercoat. He was also a bit scrawny as he couldn't keep weight on, and had got a bit doddery in his old age.
I very much hope that he had a good life with me, and I really believe I made the right decision for him and his quality of life.
Sorry to ramble on, but I wanted to let you know you are not alone in this - lots of us have been there too. And please remember this: it's a decision you make from a place of love. Thanks

Original poster
polkadotpjs · 21/08/2021 21:18

@AllTheOtherCats she has. We got her as a kitten when we lost our other old girl's sister at a very young age and she was lining. This cheeky young kitten cheered up the other one (and us) and they were bosom buddies until the older one died at 18. She has been a very fickle beast who knows what she wants and when she wants cuddles. As a younger cat she would lie along my husband's arm and knead his arm with her head in his armpit
I guess she's had a nice life at least and we did our best.

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Original poster
polkadotpjs · 21/08/2021 21:20

@mineofuselessinformation I love black cats. Our first two were black sisters and the coolest cats ever

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mineofuselessinformation · 21/08/2021 21:22

@polkadotpjs, un-mumsnetty hugs to you. (And any kind of beverage you might like.)

NessieMcNessface · 21/08/2021 21:40

I truly feel for you OP. Our cat is 17 and having always been very clean, is now starting to mess in various places in the house; a situation which I know will only get worse. We are fortunate as our children have left home, so we can close doors and prevent him from going into bedrooms, something that is almost impossible for you to do with children. You are clearly a very caring person and have obviously given your lovely cat a wonderful home for many years. It’s so hard when you truly love an animal but there comes a point when for everyone’s well being, you can’t let a situation continue. I’m sure that you will make the right decision for you and your family when you feel it necessary.

Original poster
polkadotpjs · 21/08/2021 21:47

@mineofuselessinformation red wine please and some tissues. I'm quite emotional

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Original poster
polkadotpjs · 27/08/2021 18:42

I'm at the vets now waiting as they prep her. I feel sick and guilty but she's deteriorated this week. Fur falling out in handfuls and blood in poo

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Original poster
polkadotpjs · 27/08/2021 18:49

Shes gone.

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SquirryTheSquirrel · 27/08/2021 18:52

I'm so sorry Flowers .

It was the kindest thing you could do for her. I made the same decision with my 19 year old boy when he had similar problems.

TheLongRider · 27/08/2021 19:27

Flowers You did the right thing for her. You had a lovely relationship and you really cared for her.

mineofuselessinformation · 27/08/2021 19:30

Bless your heart, @polkadotpjs.
I'm sorry. It's so hard, but your decisions was a kind one.
I hope you've been able to have a good cry (and will probably have several more).
I know when I had to let my old boy go, I howled like a wounded animal when the vet gave me a few moments with him after he'd gone.
The first few days will seem terribly strange, so be very kind to yourself. Thanks

AmandaHugenkiss · 27/08/2021 19:33

I’m so sorry @polkadotpjs It’s the worst decision to make even though it’s the best for them. We lost our old boy earlier this year at 18, and we had just had a conversation the day before about taking him in, then we came home and found him gone. I think you know when it’s time. Another poster put it beautifully; it’s a decision you make from a place of love. 💐

Hohofortherobbers · 27/08/2021 19:35

Flowers you have done the last Kind respectful act for a well loved pet. I have been there and it's so sad, I'm sending you my very best wishes xxx

PissedOffAgain · 27/08/2021 19:42

@polkadotpjs I'm so sorry for your loss but I do think you did the right thing. I agree it was the kindest thing once she started deteriorating. I do hope you're ok

Original poster
polkadotpjs · 27/08/2021 19:53

I think it's the fact she hadn't got to a horrendous point in terms of illness but the poo, the lack of interest in windowsill gazing and the look in her eyes. She did look fed up but was then very alert and not happy to go in her cat carrier. I keep crying and DH who is more pragmatic isn't as upset. Children are a bit subdued but knew it was on the cards. I didn't want to wait until she seemed distressed and the slope seemed to be getting sloppy. She squeaked/ yelped a couple of times when I lifted her this week too and vet had said weight loss might have been a tumour. I feel so guilty but I'll have to try to believe I was kind. I held her and stroked her head and it was very very quick and peaceful. At least I have that

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HaroldMeeker · 27/08/2021 19:57

I'm so sorry, truly. She was clearly deeply loved x

BatshitCrazyWoman · 27/08/2021 20:23

I'm so sorry, sending un-Mumsnetty hugs. You did the kindest and most respectful thing for your lovely girl.

Original poster
polkadotpjs · 27/08/2021 20:32

Just been upstairs and seeing her shape imprinted on the bed clothes am bawling again. I'll be ok I'm sure but it's so so sad. She's seen babies born, a house move and been cuddled by so many visitors

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