Our cat is dying but my DH wont accept it

[Originalyellowbelly]

One of our cats has cancer, he has done really well but I feel is near the end. He is hardly eating and is just skin and bone, he sleeps most of the time and doesn't really go out much. He has such a close bond with DH but I can't convince him the kindest thing is to let him go, he keeps making excuses like the reason he's not eating is because the weather is so hot and he has always been skinny. How can I convince him it's time to say goodbye.

@Originalyellowbelly
Thinking of you

Our vets have been letting people in for PTS the whole time.

We got a palliative vet to come to the house to put Ddog to sleep. It was worth it. She didn’t even have to get off her bed. She hardly woke from her nap.

@Originalyellowbelly to you and to your DH.

It’s so painful to us humans, but it’s not fair to let them suffer.

Wishing you both strength and peace.

We were allowed to be with our dog in October when she was pts. She lay on her duvet on the back seat of the car and the vet came out to her. It was very gentle. This was in Devon. I hope all goes as well as it can, OP.

How's the appointment go

I may be outing myself as a not very nice person here, but if I genuinely thought the cat was suffering I would have it pts, then leave the body curled up in its favourite sleeping place. I would take the knowledge it didn't tragically pass away in its sleep to my grave.

@Tempusfudgeit

I may be outing myself as a not very nice person here, but if I genuinely thought the cat was suffering I would have it pts, then leave the body curled up in its favourite sleeping place. I would take the knowledge it didn't tragically pass away in its sleep to my grave.

The shaved leg may be a giveaway though!

I hope all went as well as it can for you all op

Thinking of you both. I’m glad he’s seen sense. Well done OP for doing the right thing.

I was, and still am furious. He bought DCat home! Despite the vet telling him that DCat had lost a lot of weight and next time he would definitely have to be pts. How can he be so cruel, I know it's hard but I really thought I had got through to him.

Unfortunately, when he got home we discovered a major domestic disaster which had to be dealt with straight away and I didn't have chance to tell him what I really thought of him and then I was too mentally exhausted and had to go to bed.

I spent most of yesterday really upset but resigned to the fact DCat was going to have an end to his suffering and now have to go through it all again.

What a weak, pathetic idiot I have married.

I'm sorry OP.

He does sound spineless. That's so cruel.

Its selfish. Tell him if he loved the cat he would do whats best for him!

And for gods sake don't let him get another. He's proven he's not a responsible or kind owner.

Sparklfairy we have other cats but this one loves only DH, he tolerates me but only just!

I understand how you feel, but when you love someone, some people find it terrifying to think of letting them go. Especially when it's euthanasia because it's them that makes the decision to end the life of their loved one. Some people can't handle it. My mum was the best owner to her little dog, she absolutely adored her and always was determined to make the right decisions when the end came, but the end came through cancer and she wasn't ready at all. She clung on to any tiny bit of positive news the vet gave, like "she's possibly got a little time left" and just couldn't seem to process the "but it's maybe better to let her go now." I honestly think it was because she had to say goodbye to her own mum prematurely and also clung on to every scrap the medical team offered, which of course you would. And we are so used to people dying of cancer, confined to bed, weak and unable to do anything, and then when our animals have cancer and they're walking around, maybe eating and drinking a bit, it seems wrong that it's the end for them.

I don't know if you married a spineless man, OP, but from this alone I wouldn't say he's cruel, just that he is struggling to understand that it's the end for his friend and he doesn't know how to be OK with that. He is probably already grieving and in the denial stage of it

Oh I’m so sorry. It doesn’t sound like the vet used the best words by saying next time. Someone clinging onto false hope (like FuckingFabulous’s mum as well) just focuses on the one possible positive word in the sentence). But yes people like that are being spineless, selfish cowards, whether they realise it or not. They’re choosing to continue the animal’s suffering to avoid facing their own upset. It’s horrible. Letting a much loved animal go is awful, incredibly upsetting for anyone. Making that decision at the right time shows you care for that animal more than anything. Op I’d be livid at him too and be reading him the riot act until he woke up.

I'm so sorry op, I'm afraid I'd be taking things into my own hands and taking the cat myself. He is going to have to deal with the loss at some point and with the added guilt that he has prolonged its suffering by not acting. Waiting for him to feel that it's the right time isn't going to happen by the looks of things.

Our beautiful boy went to the rainbow bridge earlier today, we are gutted but we have just been blessed by a double rainbow over our house, I like to think it was his way of saying thank you and goodbye.

Sorry for your loss, I hope you have many happy memories of him.

Very sad, but I'm relieved that your boy isn't suffering anymore.

I’m sorry for your loss.Poor little boy. I hope he didn’t suffer because of your OH.

Sorry for your loss.
Hope dh stepped up at the end for your precious dcat...

Sorry to hear about your loss.
I think that the double rainbow is a sign from him that's he's in a better place too ❤