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Sibling relationship breakdown

5 replies

SmellyAndDesperate · 13/07/2021 10:52

I have name-changed for this because I want to include every possible cat detail but I don’t want my more personal posting history linked to this. I hope no one minds that.

We have 2 Burmese sister cats, 6 years old, always indoors. They have always had a difficult relationship. If one of them has to go to the vets, if they see a cat in the garden etc then there can be a lot of aggression. We moved house 4 years ago and it took more than a month for them to be able to be alone in a room together.

We have consulted vets and behaviourists and know that the house is well set up with enough litter trays, high spaces and feeding places. Feliway definitely makes the problem worse and Zylkene doesn’t seem to make a difference.

About 10 days ago there was an extraordinary fight in the night. I have never seen so much fur on the ground and since then they cannot be near each other. There is one (Cat A) who attacks most often.

The problem that feels overwhelming though is the spraying. I don’t know how to stop it. It happens whether they are separated or together. It happens right in front of me when I am trying to reassure and offer a lap. It happens in every room. I am not certain if Cat B is occasionally spraying but I am very clear that Cat A is doing it constantly.

This is a rented house. I am going to have to replace two large floor length sets of curtains at a minimum (maybe 4 sets) but the wooden flooring is getting stained too, and the plaster on the walls. I am trying to be observant and wipe fast but it seems to stain the floor on contact. I am using a cat-urine remover spray.

Our landlord is going to give us notice if I do not stop the spraying or rehome the sprayer. We love them both so much and this is heartbreaking but for many reasons, we cannot allow ourselves to be evicted and anyway, that wouldn’t actually help the cats. A new house for us, even if we could find one, would make the situation even worse (although it’s hard to see how things can get much worse).

Any suggestions at all would be really welcome. Really, really welcome.

OP posts:
Chemenger · 13/07/2021 10:58

Honestly, I think there is only one solution, and you already know what it is. One of them has to find a new home. You love them both, they probably love you but they clearly don't love each other. This is stressing them both out - hence the spraying. It isn't fair to them to keep them in such a stressful situation. Your local CP branch can help you find a great new home for one of them. Then they can both be happy.

SmellyAndDesperate · 13/07/2021 11:06

You are absolutely right that I think that is where we are headed.
I just need to believe that we have considered every option.
I think perhaps it’s so bad that rehoming might be kinder but it’s hard not to conflicted.

OP posts:
ViperAtTheGatesOfDawn · 13/07/2021 11:14

An alternative to try before rehoming one is to trial allowing them outdoors.

AlfonsoTheMango · 13/07/2021 11:23

Burms have strong personalities so it may just be that rehoming is the best option. And as the cat is Burmese there will be no shortage of people willing to adopt!

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/07/2021 11:31

I’d re-home cat B as rehoming a frequent sprayer would be harder.

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