What shall we do?

[Coolcoolcool]

We have a lovely cat - a moggie who is 5 years old, and is (usually) an outdoor cat.
We moved house 2 years ago, and it became apparent there are 2 bully cats who live a couple of doors down. They are physically much bigger than my cat, and one attacked and bit her. She became petrified of them and started refusing to go outside. This led to increasing accidents indoors, until we succumbed and bought a litter tray. She became very anxious and skitty, and her personality changed. She still had accidents. It was clear she was unhappy.

We moved out of our house for 6 months whilst some building work was being done and a friend had her live with her in her flat as an indoor cat. She has totally thrived there, a return back to her lovely self, albeit not going outside.

The time has come for her to move back, and I feel awful but I don’t want her to. I don’t want an indoor cat and I can’t deal with the litter, the accidents, the skittish behaviour etc. We also now have a newborn as well as a toddler, and it sounds awful, but I just don’t have the time to devote to rehabilitating her. I also feel awful bringing her back into an environment where I know she’s unhappy.

So what would you do? Friend can’t take her any longer sadly as she’s about to move.

You don't know until you've tried? She may not have the accidents and the skittish behaviour now she has had 6 months to settle down? 🤷‍♀️ and as for the litter it's part and parcel of cat ownership I'm afraid. I don't agree with anyone giving up on their pet so easily especially citing having children as a reason but maybe you should rehome her to someone who is going to love her

What would I do? I’d look after my cat.

Now that she’s been an indoor cat for a while I doubt there’ll be accidents. We took a door off a kitchen unit to put the litter tray (a lidded one) in there, it raised it a little which made a huge difference with having baby/toddler in house…it’s where I put the recycling too lol. We rarely have accidents but this week I had to wash my floor length curtains as she’d obviously got closed in the living room and peed on one; no big deal, I cleaned them, put lavender essential oil along the bottom hem and rehung. No biggie. At the end of the day it’s best if a cat is loved and appreciated, if you can’t do that then be a responsible owner and rehome - but the ‘issues’ you cite don’t have to be issues you are just choosing them to be.

My cat got attacked and was mainly indoor and had a litter tray and didn't have accidents. If she's settled down she should be fine

Thanks for advice. Of course we are going to try her being back home first. I’m just anticipating that she will return to how she was. It’s because I love her that it feels cruel seeing her so stressed and anxious, and willingly putting her in an environment that causes that,

If your friend was willing to keep her, I would let that happen as they would both be happy with that.

But as that is not a possibility, so you have to have her living back with you. Try approaching it more positively - what can you do to help things go well?

If you still have a catflap it needs to be one which works on a microchip so no other cats can get in. Provide two litter trays in places that are convenient for her (rather than convenient for you). Ensure she has resting places she can 'escape' to away from your toddler - e.g. on top of dressers/cupboards. And provide somewhere she can eat undisturbed.

I'm not sure you'll need to 'rehabilitate' her, but you will need to reassure her and help her to feel safe.

If it doesn't work out, what is your plan?