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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Our beloved cat has gone

18 replies

WorldsBestCat · 27/06/2021 22:19

Our gorgeous girl passed away 3 days ago and we are bereft. She was 16 years old, had kidney disease and was euthanised. Our loss feels overwhelming. I've had cats before so know it's hard to say goodbye but this is so hard. Feels as though I've lost a part of me, please someone remind me it gets more bearable soon. Our grief comes in waves, I would give anything to see her again and just hug her. Desperately sad we won't ever see her again. My husband feels the same, she was such a big part of our lives and so important to us.
'

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FlowerArranger · 27/06/2021 22:22

I know exactly how you feel.
Lost our little girl nearly two years ago and still miss her so very much.
It gets easier, though I know this is of little comfort to you now.
What helped me, strangely enough, was volunteering at a cat rescue shelter.
Take care

JetBlackSteed · 27/06/2021 22:26

I am so sorry, it's really hard.
But you need to remember you did a really kind thing for your pet to avoid her suffering further.
The grief does fade, but you'll never forget her.

rhubarblover · 27/06/2021 22:27

I am very sorry to hear this. She had a long life with you and you did the right thing for her, not letting her suffer. I’m sure she knew she was much loved. They are so much a part of the family, it is very very hard. 16 years is a long time, but of course in time, you will be able to remember happier times with your cat. It is very early days and you are bound to feel very sad right now. My cat is 17 and I am already dreading what you are going through now. When we lost his sister a couple of years ago. I was extremely upset, but now I can look back and laugh at her funny ways, look at photos and see what a beautiful cat she was. Allow yourself to grieve right now. It will get better.

Blankspace4 · 27/06/2021 22:29

sending so much love, our cats are dear members of our family and we feel their loss so deeply.

ExcitingTimes2021 · 27/06/2021 22:59

Aww I feel for you. I lost my little Pudding Pot three weeks ago. Her kidneys just suddenly failed. There was hardly any warning and the vets think it was a toxin but god only knows from where. It’s so painful and three weeks on I still cry when I come home and she isn’t here to shout at me for leaving the house!

I’m sure things will get better with time but you did the ultimate act of love by putting her needs before your own and letting her go before she suffered. She will always have a place in your heart and one day it won’t hurt as much x

Original poster

WorldsBestCat · 28/06/2021 09:41

thankyou for all your kind messages. It was so hard to let her go but you are right, we did the right thing by her. Just miss her so much and difficult to comprehend that we won't see her again. It's all just so final and the end of a great love that we had for her and her for us.

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Beamur · 28/06/2021 09:47

It's really hard when you've had such a close bond. I have 3 cats but we all still mourn for our best boy who died 2 years ago. He was such a special cat.
Fwiw, wait for a while and then fill the kitty shaped space with another one. Homes shouldn't be without a cat for too long.
Sorry for your loss

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/06/2021 10:37

It’s very painful to lose them, you’ll always love her though. That doesn’t end.

It hurts so much though.

custardbear · 28/06/2021 12:01

Big hugs- I've lost my gorgeous little man today - lost his fight with jaw cancer and he couldn't eat to drink any longer so we
Took the horrible step to PTS this morning - I'm devastated too - sending hugs 💔💔

GhostOfChristmasPudding · 28/06/2021 13:42

So sorry for your loss. They are such a big part of our hearts. We just lost our beautiful little boy last Tuesday. He had cancer, but we and the vets thought it was a severe middle and inner ear infection he would recover from (he even had his ear canal removed just two weeks ago), but it turned out it was just a symptom of the cancer. It felt so unfair as he was only 13 years old, which to me didn't feel old enough as he had always been so healthy. But I couldn't watch him suffer anymore, so we had to decide it was time. He was at least able to go to sleep at home in my arms as our vet could come out, and I was grateful for that.

It gets easier. I was a wreck last week. I couldn't stop crying and wishing he was there to hug. I can promise it gets easier, though. Lots of things still set me off, but talking about him helps, especially with our four-year old DS, and I'm starting to remember all the good, sweet and funny things about him with a smile, even if there are tears. I still tell him we won't be long when we leave the house, mad as that sounds. The hardest part for me at the moment is that we still won't have his ashes until Wednesday. But I definitely feel a little better. And I know it was hurting him so much to stay with us, poor thing. He purred as he went to sleep, so I know he's happy wherever he is.

It will get better. The pain is because we love them so much, and you have to remember you gave your cat a wonderful, happy life for 16 years. She felt safe, loved, had a full tummy and a warm bed.

FlowerArranger · 28/06/2021 13:58

One of the most difficult decision's is when to let them go.

Our beautiful much loved girl was deterioating. We had to give her subcutaneous fluid plus pills. It was clear that she would not get better. She still had good days along with the not so good ones.

We decided to let her go. Cats have no perception of the future. No bucket list of stuff they want to do before the end. It's kinder to perhaps let them go too soon rather than wait until the inevitable.

@WorldsBestCat..... you have done the right thing by your beloved kitty. This may not help you now, but it will in the months and years to come

Original poster

WorldsBestCat · 28/06/2021 16:24

oh gosh @custardbear and @GhostOfChristmasPudding so incredibly raw for you both too. I'm so sorry for you too, the loss is so hard. All such beautiful souls, it feels like the world is out of sorts without them being in it. Thankyou to everyone for your reassuring words and experience that life will and does get better. I stroked a dog today and it was so lovely to touch a pet again, it helped me heal a little bit, as silly as that may sound. We have spoken about getting another cat but I'm just not interested at the moment. Still grieving but I hope that in a few months we will pick up that thought again and get another furry friend in our home. House is not the same without a lovely pet in it. We should hopefully get our gorgeous girl's ashes in the next week so I hope that will help us too. thanks again for all your warm wishes

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Happylittlekitty · 28/06/2021 17:12

@WorldsBestCat

I’m so sorry for your loss and the same to everyone going through this on here. I went through this just a few weeks ago and also posted on here for support. It’s honestly been the hardest time for me, the shock of her passing followed by overwhelming grief has been incredibly hard, I struggled to eat and sleep and felt like every day was just torture. Right now it’s too raw but I promise It will become easier and your grief will change as you begin to process what’s happened, I miss my girl every day but I can now smile at her memory and the feelings of guilt and anger that I’m sure most people experience with grief have passed. Take each day as it comes, look after yourself and I’m here if you need to chat xx

Original poster

WorldsBestCat · 28/06/2021 23:04

thankyou @Happylittlekitty. So many supportive and kind messages on this thread. It's helping us lots (just read them out to my husband too), and just talking about her and telling more people about her is a big help too.

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Happylittlekitty · 01/07/2021 13:15

@WorldsBestCat
Just wanted to drop you a msg to ask how are you?

Original poster

WorldsBestCat · 03/07/2021 20:58

thankyou @Happylittlekitty that is very kind of you to check in with me. We are all doing ok. Each day it gets a little bit easier to think and talk about her. We ordered a few photographs a few days ago which I think will also help as she will still be around us if you know what I mean. We should get her ashes next week which I think may be difficult but we are at least able to talk about her without crying. Still miss her dearly of course and keep looking for her or think I see her when I walk into a particular room that she always liked to snooze in. I keep thinking of her in her last days and she was very ill so I can now see it was the right time for her to go, just never the right time for us as the owner to say goodbye. She was such a dear little companion, so involved in our family life in one way or the other, such a superstar with our noisy young children. Very difficult to even comprehend how another four legged friend could become such an important part of our family but I am sure in time we will, just not yet. Many thanks again for taking the time to check in with me

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Happylittlekitty · 06/07/2021 12:10

@WorldsBestCat

I’m so sorry for my late reply, not enough hours in the day! It’s so hard isn’t it but I’m glad to hear you are doing a little better, time really is a healer. Hopefully having her ashes home will bring you some comfort that’s she back with you where she belongs, it has helped me. I won’t keep pestering you but I’m always available for cat chats

Take care of yourself x

Original poster

WorldsBestCat · 09/07/2021 09:52

thankyou @Happylittlekitty. I picked up her ashes two days ago and it has helped a little bit. Still missing her an awful lot but day by day its getting a little easier to accept that she has gone but what I wouldn't give for one more cuddle and kiss. Hubby and I were in tears again last night thinking about some of her antics. You wouldn't think that we were two responsible mid-aged adults but our girl touched our hearts in a way that will never be forgotten as I know is the same for many cat and pet owners.

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