Regretting second cat. WWYD?

[WildflowerWildfire]

I already had a 2 year old girl, and stupidly thought that introducing a new kitten would be a good idea. It’s been a month of very gradual introductions and my girl is absolutely miserable and avoids coming home. I have feliway plug-ins and did the usual scent swapping, keeping them separate etc.

He’s a lovely little thing but I’m severely regretting changing the dynamics. WWYD in this situation?

How is your older cat with other cats generally? My rescue who is now around 8, really doesn’t get on with other cats and I don’t think she’d ever be able to live with another one. Sounds like you’ve done all the right things regarding the introduction but I think some cats never settle regardless of what you do. Sorry not to have any bright ideas. I suppose it’s early days so you could persevere if you think things might improve.

I’ve never really seen her interact with other cats but she’s quite laidback so I didn’t think it would be much of an issue. It would break my heart to rehome the kitten but it’s starting to look like my only option

It’s only been a month they’ll settle down I’m sure have time with just you and your older girl without kitten and vice Versa keep kitten separate as much as you can. Would be a shame to rehome.

I'd give it more time. It took about 6 months for our cat to accept a new kitten. They get along pretty well now though. It was almost like she didn't know what he was for the first few months. Once he started to look like an actual cat, she was a lot happier.

Are the times away from home getting longer or shorter?.

We had this as a child and our original cat was soon very much the boss of the new interloper. But she could also be found grooming him when it suited her.

Times away are getting longer if anything. But I don’t know if that’s due to the hot weather.

It a difficult one, a friend of mine introduced a kitten, they never got on sadly. Cats are fickle, how would you feel if your original cat found themselves a new home? This could be a possibility if your cat is unhappy. Two choices really, either stick it out for a while longer, or rehome the kitten. With the first option you are likely to become more attached. I do feel for you OP, not an easy situation.

I would put it down to the warmer weather. It's only been a short time. I've always had a multiple cat household and dogs! It just takes them all time to settle. My new kitten addition came in August last year and she rules the roost now

Pet Remedy is the best plugin by far! I found that, combined with one Beaphor Calming Treat at 12 hour intervals to massively help my boys as they were very anxious. Maybe give that combo a try?

What would I do? I'd return the kitten I'm afraid.

Cats are - as a rule - solitary animals and they don't appreciate a friend. Some of course do but the majority won't like it - they're very territorial

So you'll find yourself in the position of your existing cat either being miserable and displaying behavioural issues or it'll just stop coming home

The right thing to do is rehome the kitten. Yes, your existing cat may eventually come round but then again, they might not. And as things stand, you're being unfair on your cat who won't understand what's happening

I would be devastated if my older girl left. I’d be really upset to rehome the kitten too but I want my original cat to be happy and content in her own home. Really wish I’d thought this through more as I feel bloody awful 😢

I’d say give it a little more time - I introduced a puppy to my cats before Christmas and a month on relations seemed to be getting worse rather than better but by two months they’d sorted themselves out and my stroppy old tortie will even play with the pup on occasions

Our vet recommended Zyclene for times of stress and to help with my cat when she was over grooming/had suspected anxiety - maybe worth a try if you haven't already?

I'm.in same boat my 12 year old cat doesn't like our beautiful new rescue cat whom is an indoor cat aged 2
She isn't comming home and hisses etc at him. I just put them in separate rooms. They will get used to one another eventually

I will try the zylkene thank you. I really want it to work out but how long do I give it? The longer it goes on, the more difficult it will be to rehome him, and my girl cat will dislike coming home even more

Give it longer. I got a three year old cat when my existing cat was about 9 years old. To be fair, he was one of a pair for his whole life and was incredibly dependent on his brother who had died when they were 8.

I decided to get another cat because he seemed so miserable, but I decided an adult would be better for him and a female so he would still be the dominant one (which is ridiculous if you'd ever met him, he's a right wimp!).

Anyway it all seemed like a disaster for the first few weeks, they were quite aggressive towards each other and she really bullied him despite being a lovely cat generally.

We tried the feliway and zylkene and all that but what it really took was time. It did take about 6 months but suddenly they were inseparable. They have been together for three years now, sleep in the same bed, groom each other and basically follow each other round constantly. They are so happy together and I'm really glad we persevered.

Caveat - these are indoor cats so one of them just refusing to come home wasn't an option!

@Christmasfairy2020 how unfair to do that to your 12 year old cat.

I despair at people just disregarding their existing pet's feelings and well being because they want a cute kitten or new cat

With regard to a PP it depends on the older cat. I have a 12 year old who has always been used to the company of other cats I've had or taken in over the years. I acquired a new little boy a while after oldest cats last companion died. He wasn't happy at first and it took quite a few months to acclimatise but now he cuddles up to him, I knew he was lonely. They rub along well. It takes time.

My cats hated each other, this went on for years.
We went away and had to put them in a catery and booked two separate pods for them.
The owner said that she was going to put them in the same one and keep an eye on them and separate if needed to. She said an unfamiliar place may help them to bond.
She was right , when we came back they were happily sharing the pod and continued to be in the house together when we got home. On occasion they were even asleep on the same bed albeit opposite ends.

Toys lots of them. You need to play with your girl. Get dabird and those sparky things on the end of a stick do lots of playing on your bed let the kitten watch. She needs loads of attention. Get the brush out and groom her.

I wonder if neutering the new cat would help. My boy was neutered at 14 weeks old.
I would try and play with them together so they interact a bit more with feather sticks etc.
Ps I didn't see my cat much in the heat.