Very elderly cat - how do you make 'that' decision

[custardbear]

Hi fellow cat lovers
I have a wonderful cat, he's so old now and he's got a tumour in his jaw/neck so he's having palliative care at home - but how do you decide when it's time to PTS? It's breaking my heart to see him so frail, but he's enjoying his food and milk still, still enjoying raw chicken and fish too - his favourites! He's enjoying the sunshine and pads around the garden with me, has strokes and brushes still and is /seems ok - he's just very dribbly and dishevelled.
Breaks my heart, he is such a gorgeous natured and wonderful cat to our whole family 🥰🥺
Tell me your experiences xx

@IHaveBrilloHair

My cat had started drooling terribly, and it smelled horrible. He had a tumour in his mouth and treatment was going to be brutal, and that's if it worked.

This is what my cat has too 🥺

@Mxflamingnoravera

It sounds like we are in a similar position OP. (My thread is about the cat with haemolytic anaemia).

I am going through the same thoughts. He is curled up with me now and purring away, he's eating like a horse but he's so bony and wobbly. It breaks my heart.

I know that as soon as the vet says it's time I will have him PTS.

You have my complete sympathy and I can feel your pain and worry about when. I suspect, we will just know.

Sending best wishes x

Big hugs to you too 😞😿

When our cat went off his food & started eating very little. He was just getting weaker & weaker after that.

He had loved his food as a younger fellow. We knew his main joy in life was gone & we couldn't make him better.

We decided it was time when his health issues started spiralling out of control and attempts to stabilise them weren't working.

His thyroid was dodgy, he had kidney disease, had a stroke so walked funny, forgot how to groom himself, got lost walking around the house in the middle of the night so used to shout for us.

He broke my heart but it was the right decision to make.

I'm looking at this with Ashycat. She wasn't eating, so getting her meds in, particularly the painkillers, was difficult (getting the syriinge in was tough as she got wise to what I was up to). The last week she has been bothering me for brekkie and snorfing down the food, meds and all. Great!

She has early kidney, thyroid and heart trouble but the main issue is her back - it obviously hurts and she cannot use her back legs, they collapse under her. I've been giving her .3ml of Gabapentin and that has been working. Unfortunately, it seems to be less effective and I am going to have to up it to the max prescribed dose to see how that goes.

She used to wake me for brekkie, that's stopped. She won;t sleep on the bed any more, nor does she sit on the back doorstep surveying the garden (last year, in the hot weather, she "glamped" on the back doormat overnight several times). She just sits on her cushion on the living room floor. sometimes she sits up in astandard sitting pose, then bows her head till it touches the floor.

I know it's time because, looking at her, I don't want to let her go, but I feel dreadfully guilty not doing so. If the increased dose doesn't work by tomorrow, I think it will have to be Friday.

I had to do this on Monday. I knew from about Friday that it was nearly time. He was a Persian, absolutely beautiful but 17 years old (they usually live between 12-17 years). He had lost so much weight in the last year despite as much good food and lovely treats as he could want, and on Friday he was only 4.5lbs - half what he used to be. He started really wobbling on his feet and wouldn't eat. He would still drink but that's all. I had him at the vet on Friday and she gave him antibiotics for runny eyes/nose that had developed that day. Those worked but he continued to go downhill and I knew I was going to have to make the call. I phoned on Sunday to the only branch of my vets that was open, about 1 hour away. Their only appointment was in 1 hour 15 mins and I would have to be there by then or they wouldn't see me. I couldn't say goodbye that quickly and didn't want his last hour to be travelling in the car.

I decided to keep him home with me for one more night. All weekend we'd had so many cuddles and brushes. He adored being brushed his whole life and purred like crazy whenever I did. By Sunday he had stopped purring and I knew he was ready.

I took him everywhere he wanted to go, all weekend. Out to the garden, lying on the grass in the sunshine and sniffing around the flowers and bushes. I took so many photos of him.

He had super comfy beds made up everywhere of lots and lots of folded blankets with hot water bottles to keep him warm but he kept trying to go downstairs to the heated tiles in the bathroom. I spent all of Sunday night lying with him on the floor in there. We lay and looked at each other for most of the night. It was very special but so so heartbreaking. I told him how much I loved him so many times, and thanked him for 17 years of being the most loving (over!) friendly, innocent little boy. He was the dream cat - travelled well, moved house quite a few times without being remotely bothered as long as I was there. He never had any accidents, didn't scratch anything but his post l, loved everyone he met.. I could go on. He was perfect and I was so lucky. I cried more this weekend than I have since my Mum died 21 years ago.

On Monday I held him on my knee, cuddled him and kissed him while he went to sleep. I am utterly, utterly heartbroken. I'm 36 and have had him for almost half my life. I will miss him forever.

These were taken over the last day of him being with me. He was so adorable until the very end.

Sorry for the photo spam. I just really like to talk about him with people who understand how much they mean to us. Here he is in happier times, just after a haircut (he would purr on the Groomer’s table - he loved it!) He was such a character.

I'm so sorry for not replying properly to your actual question. I believe wholeheartedly that you know your little boy better than anyone else, and you'll just know when he's not happy anymore.

Making that decision is the kindest thing we can ever do for our pets, as much as it breaks us. I am so so sorry to anyone who is dealing with this now, or has been through it before. ❤️

Jolly

A little ball of purrfection could never be photo spam.

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

Jolly

A little ball of purrfection could never be photo spam.

Thank you so much. I know I am biased, especially as Persians can be a marmite breed but to me, he's been the cutest thing I've ever seen, his whole life. I buried him at home on my family farm in the garden between two trees which look out over the horses' field. He would love it there.

jolly

It sounds as though you have found him a perfect little spot to rest.

I know the pain of this (not a cat though, so sorry) and what I try to take with me each day is that we found eachother and loved eachother. And our lives are ever enriched from being part of theirs.

May your smiles be easier to find in the days to come. x 🌻

And you aren’t biased.

He is handsome beyond words x

The little face 🥰

He's adorable!

Our boy had stomach cancers which he hid so well. We decided that it was time when he couldn't get enough to eat, struggled to get over the fence etc and we didn't want him dying somewhere else and us never knowing.

Our elderly lady got more and more senile.
We decided that she wouldn't cope with us going away for the weekend. Normally friends would pop in and feed her but she needed constant attention so that would have been cruel.

@JollyHolly30

I had to do this on Monday. I knew from about Friday that it was nearly time. He was a Persian, absolutely beautiful but 17 years old (they usually live between 12-17 years). He had lost so much weight in the last year despite as much good food and lovely treats as he could want, and on Friday he was only 4.5lbs - half what he used to be. He started really wobbling on his feet and wouldn't eat. He would still drink but that's all. I had him at the vet on Friday and she gave him antibiotics for runny eyes/nose that had developed that day. Those worked but he continued to go downhill and I knew I was going to have to make the call. I phoned on Sunday to the only branch of my vets that was open, about 1 hour away. Their only appointment was in 1 hour 15 mins and I would have to be there by then or they wouldn't see me. I couldn't say goodbye that quickly and didn't want his last hour to be travelling in the car. I decided to keep him home with me for one more night. All weekend we'd had so many cuddles and brushes. He adored being brushed his whole life and purred like crazy whenever I did. By Sunday he had stopped purring and I knew he was ready. I took him everywhere he wanted to go, all weekend. Out to the garden, lying on the grass in the sunshine and sniffing around the flowers and bushes. I took so many photos of him. He had super comfy beds made up everywhere of lots and lots of folded blankets with hot water bottles to keep him warm but he kept trying to go downstairs to the heated tiles in the bathroom. I spent all of Sunday night lying with him on the floor in there. We lay and looked at each other for most of the night. It was very special but so so heartbreaking. I told him how much I loved him so many times, and thanked him for 17 years of being the most loving (over!) friendly, innocent little boy. He was the dream cat - travelled well, moved house quite a few times without being remotely bothered as long as I was there. He never had any accidents, didn't scratch anything but his post l, loved everyone he met.. I could go on. He was perfect and I was so lucky. I cried more this weekend than I have since my Mum died 21 years ago. On Monday I held him on my knee, cuddled him and kissed him while he went to sleep. I am utterly, utterly heartbroken. I'm 36 and have had him for almost half my life. I will miss him forever.

These were taken over the last day of him being with me. He was so adorable until the very end.

Big hugs - that got me very teary 🥺 Beautiful pictures x

@JollyHolly30

I'm so sorry for not replying properly to your actual question. I believe wholeheartedly that you know your little boy better than anyone else, and you'll just know when he's not happy anymore. Making that decision is the kindest thing we can ever do for our pets, as much as it breaks us. I am so so sorry to anyone who is dealing with this now, or has been through it before. ❤️

Yes you're right it's the kindest thing ~ he has been enjoying the sunshine, following me around outside when I'm watering the garden and joining me in the office at work times - still eating and drinking lots of milk. I think I have a bit more time with my beautiful (smelly dishevelled - but I see past that!) Kitty

I think you will know.
Enjoy the Summer with him unless anything changes, then when the weather changes reassess.

Thank you so much for letting me talk about him. It's been a week now and I still miss him just as much. Hug your little friends extra tight a d give them bonus strokes. I so wish I still could.
Thanks everyone.

jolly

It has been well over 6 years for me.

Love doesn’t go away.

May his little self pad quietly beside you wherever you go. 🐾 🐾 x

You wait until they look like they are unhappy or in pain. All the time they are eating and purring you carry on. It is devastating though

So sorry for those so have lost a beloved friend.
When I have had my pets put down I go by better a month too soon than a day too late. I think the ideal for the animal is to go on a good day but it's the worst for the human. I managed it with my horse - I gave her an unsustainable amount of painkillers so she was charging around the field and she went out on a high. It feels so awful though because you second guess yourself to the end but it means they never suffer, which is the best gift of all.
Sadly the chicken I lost the other day I was too late for that and she suffered, so the decision to pts was very easy, but I felt guilty that she suffered.
Whatever happens it is horrible but that's the price we pay for love xxx

Hi, came on here to read other people's experiences as I'm facing exactly this decision with our elderly female cat. She is almost 19 and has been on medication for overactive thyroid for a couple of years, but seems to have recently deteriorated.
The main issue is toileting - she often doesn't make it to the litter tray any more. On top of that, her back legs just collapse so she ends up soiling herself and I am forever cleaning her, the carpet etc. Her fur is also matted where she can no longer groom herself. However, she is still happily eating, drinking and sleeping, and gets very excited about fresh fish! It's so difficult when she is not actually suffering or in pain, but we are due to go away in 3 weeks and I really can't expect someone else to deal with it all. Advice would be much appreciated.

Anyone?

rosebud

I don’t have cats so perhaps am not the best person to say.

When this happened to my folks’ dog we decided that the kindest thing was a pts. She was on pain meds etc and so hopefully wasn’t uncomfortable but she got distressed at making a mess.

I’d be more inclined to give her the best two weeks or so, with all her favourite things. And then make the call for her while she is still loving food and most bits of her life.

She might not take to someone else tending to her and you don’t want her distressed in your absence.

You know your beastie. I can’t call it for you. She may have dignity left.

My folks’ lass was losing hers and we thought it best to let her go. It was the right call for us.

I wish you wisdom and courage to decide and to come to your own peace with whatever you decide.

It is always hard to lose a pet - however it happens x

Rosebud I think the kindest thing would be to let her go before you go on holiday. As a previous poster said, better a week too soon than a day too late. You'd not forgive yourself if she deteriorated badly while you were away and didn't have you ny her side at that point. Very sorry - such a hard thing to have to do, but it would be the right thing.

Thank you both so much - I am slowly accepting that this is probably the way it's going to go...doesn't make it any easier though.