Please help!

[Squiggleness]

My kitten is around 9/10 months old and is perfect in every way except her behaviour in the evenings. She turns into a complete pain, meowing at open doors upstairs (we have children so can't ignore this), scratching the sofas which she doesn't do during the day. Steps I've taken so far:
Playing with her prior to the evening to ensure that she is tired (didn't work and actually sometimes makes it worse)
Putting her away each time she meows
Plug in feliway
Nothing is working and seems she has got into a routine/habit. Please could someone help as it is starting to make me feel quite stressed.
Many thanks in advance

Do the closed doors need to be closed?

Do you play with her during the evening when she is looking for the attention or just trying to wear her out in advance?

Have you tried offering snacks downstairs to keep her tempted to stay downstairs rather then being a pest upstairs?

@4fingerKitKat

Do the closed doors need to be closed?

Do you play with her during the evening when she is looking for the attention or just trying to wear her out in advance?

Have you tried offering snacks downstairs to keep her tempted to stay downstairs rather then being a pest upstairs?

Yes have tried all of this & as I mentioned above she goes into the rooms and meows loudly to wake up her playmates!

She’ll probably grow out of it, I would also just keep her downstairs to not disturb the kids and play with her. Ideally she would have access to the outside via a cat flap to burn off more energy - sounds like she still has a lot left and you’re her only source of entertainment!

If you keep closing the doors then she will keep complaining.
It’s not usual for cats to be shut away every night.
Ours are out during the day and then so tired that they crash out at night on our bed. As kittens they were an unholy nightmare each evening. So we would tire them out and make sure they had full bellies then they would sleep.
As said above cats are very much awake at dawn and dusk. You’re fed up because the lone kitten (no friend to play with) is after attention and behaving like a cat.

Not at all, I play with her regularly during the day, as do my children. I am at home for the majority of the day too so she is scarcely alone: I disagree that you can't keep a cat in one room at night. She has free reign during the day and at night is kept in a large room with access to all of her amenities. This has always worked for us and nobody could convince me that this is mistreatment of an animal in any way shape or form. My cat is perfectly happy, loved and played with

This is what many cats do. My last old boy was still doing zoomies at 18yo. My latest rescue has hers every morning and late every night, she is a complete arsehole and hates doors being closed. We've just got used to it tbh.

If you're giving attention when she does it you are rewarding her, you do need to learn to ignore it and she will probably give up.

You could try shifting her meal times around so she has a big dish of delicious food around when you put the kids to bed, which might reduce her energy level while they're getting off to sleep.

A cat flap could really help though.

@ViperAtTheGatesOfDawn

This is what many cats do. My last old boy was still doing zoomies at 18yo. My latest rescue has hers every morning and late every night, she is a complete arsehole and hates doors being closed. We've just got used to it tbh.

If you're giving attention when she does it you are rewarding her, you do need to learn to ignore it and she will probably give up.

You could try shifting her meal times around so she has a big dish of delicious food around when you put the kids to bed, which might reduce her energy level while they're getting off to sleep.

A cat flap could really help though.

Thank you for being helpful & non judgemental

I would be getting the kitten a friend. It's cruel to have just one. It takes the pressure off humans too because they play together.

I am not sure there is a lot you can do about the meowing. She is little and just wants to play. Could you keep her downstairs with you in the evening and play with her? That should prevent her from waking the kids. We do lock our cat downstairs but that is once we go to bed, not in the evening. He's an older cat but he still likes a bit of attention in the evening.

@CommunistLegoBloc

I would be getting the kitten a friend. It's cruel to have just one. It takes the pressure off humans too because they play together.

It's really not cruel to have one at all. The vast majority of domestic cats are much happier as only cats.

Cats are awake at dawn and dusk. Playing during the day is irrelevant.
And I wouldn’t shut a kitten in one room overnight. But then I would never have one. Always a pair.
If you continue to behave as you are you’ll get the same behaviour from the cat. Even if you’re convinced it’s “happy”

I think to be honest the problem is that your family set up is not currently conduct to having a kitten. As a pp has said, they're crepuscular. That means their active wide awake time is in the evenings. Whilst it's lovely they have company during the day, they really want fuss and attention at the exact time your dcs go to bed.

It's a bit like someone plying you with wine and food at four in the afternoon then going to bed at 7 when you're ready to party!

And gently, I do think shutting her in a room by herself is a bit mean - she obviously loves human company and is just wanting that when she is at her natural most wide awake time.

People are being a bit harsh here I think!
Op is the main problem that she objects to the dc going to sleep just when she's ready to play? So she scratches and miaows to get them back?

I think at this age they are a handful and to a certain extent they chill out and do their own thing a bit more as they get older. With mine I take them downstairs with me once ds is in bed. I shut us all downstairs together with food/treats/play/cuddles.
They'll soon come to realise that kids going to bed is a signal for them to get nice things, then gradually they do learn to sit and chill with you on the sofa.

I would play with her for a long time and then feed her after - the “wild” part of her is hunting and then eating what she catches. You probably need to play with her longer than you think whilst she’s a kitten, they have tonnes of energy. After she’s eaten she will probably groom herself then go to sleep.

My cat used to miaow at my bedroom door at night, I’m slightly allergic so don’t want her on my bed. I ignored it and her sleep routine is now the same as mine, except in summer when the birds wake her and she thinks it’s time to get up 🙄 she does still like to sleep outside my bedroom door though.

There’s a guy on YouTube called Jackson Galaxy, he’s a bit of an odd bod but really knows his stuff, I’ve learnt quite a lot from him! I also don’t think it’s cruel for her to have her own room at night, it’s her territory and safe space.

Also, cats love routine! Play, feed, bedroom at the same time each night and she will get used to it.

@titchy

I think to be honest the problem is that your family set up is not currently conduct to having a kitten. As a pp has said, they're crepuscular. That means their active wide awake time is in the evenings. Whilst it's lovely they have company during the day, they really want fuss and attention at the exact time your dcs go to bed.

It's a bit like someone plying you with wine and food at four in the afternoon then going to bed at 7 when you're ready to party!

And gently, I do think shutting her in a room by herself is a bit mean - she obviously loves human company and is just wanting that when she is at her natural most wide awake time.

I understand where you're coming from with this but I'm not shutting my cat away for hours. As I've explained I actively play with her and have tried this but she continues to meow at the doors. Some people leave their cats alone all day while they work so it's absolutely ridiculous and laughable to suggest that putting a cat into a perfectly comfortable and safe space in their own home with their things is in any way cruel. It's actually quite annoying. Generally people on mumsnet just love to pile onto someone

Some people leave their cats alone all day while they work so it's absolutely ridiculous and laughable to suggest that putting a cat into a perfectly comfortable and safe space in their own home with their things is in any way cruel.

Except cats are generally pretty chilled about who's around in the day as it's not their awake time. The evening is their sociable time, so ignoring that whilst not hugely cruel does seem
To indicate a lack of awareness of what a cat needs, and crucially WHEN it needs it.

Is it be ause shes on the Dreamies? Mine is obbsessed with them and meows lime mad until I give in.

FGS. I love my cat dearly, and she's a tricky rescue who I'm more than happy to take time with, but she's still an arsehole at times. It's only that I've had cats for 40+ years that I don't post in despair like the OP here.

It is absolutely fine, and often in the cat's best interests, to have one cat.

It is absolutely fine to restrict access overnight, whether it's to preserve your sanity, keep the cat safe and out of mischief, or for any other reason, as long as the cat has all it needs to meet its needs overnight, it is fine.

Cats are not dogs or children, there is far too much anthropomorphising going on here.

And I see your name calling as evidence that you are rude and don’t care enough about the cat to do what is necessary to change the behaviour and improve life for you all. Poor cat.

I think ops getting a hard time here, she’s explained kitten isn’t locked in a dungeon all night. I’d bite back too.

So in essence yes it’s all normal, she’ll probably grow out of it but a few interactive toys might help because she sounds an active cat who needs a lot of stimulation and they get bored of the same toys all the time.

My stairs go straight into my living room

Is there any way to block them off? Baby gate with something attached? My friend used a baby gate with fence wire attached when introducing her cats.

It's a tad hyperbolic to say it's a 'poor cat'.

This is clearly a happy, lively, loved cat who happens to be a PITA in the evenings. It can be a surprise for those new to cats, but nothing the OP says makes it sound like the cat isn't being well looked after.

My boy was like it at the same age, OP. Nothing worked. He eventually grew out of it. He would meow all night, race up and down the stairs. He turned into a completely nutter. He kept us awake all night and poor DH was ready to return him to the cat sanctuary! One night, he tried shutting the cat in one room rather than the cat having the run of the house, so he wouldn't keep racing up and down the stairs. That just made things worse. Anyway, he's five years old now and spends the night cuddling me in bed! And hasn't done any of that for years.