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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How to befriend possible stray?

53 replies

Elouera · 27/04/2021 14:42

We moved house last year and have daily visits from a cat with no collar- eating food left out for the hedgehogs. Neighbours don't know who owns it, but I realise it might someone farther away. Its grown in confidence and visits whilst we are in the garden without running off now. Other than taking it to a vet to check for a microchip and putting up signs, is there anything else I can do to see if it has an owner? If it is stray, can we ever befriend it enough to allow a pat?

OP posts:
WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself · 30/04/2021 18:22

My cats never wore collars after one got ended up with surgery and a skin graft after getting it stuck under his foreleg. They were microchipped.

Please don’t feed until you have made more effort to locate an owner.
The cat may have kidney disease and be on a special diet. They can have extensive territories and don’t follow streets so their home could be quite some distance away.

If you do succeed in attaching her, there might be a heartbroken family missing her Sad

thecatneuterer · 30/04/2021 18:22

No one is saying 'befriend it till it's yours'. We are saying befriend it so that you can either put a paper collar with a message on it, or get it scanned.

TaraR2020 · 30/04/2021 18:23

Plenty- and I mean plenty of well loved, well fed cats do the poor-me routine for food and attention off strangers.

It's underbelly is somethings that many cats develop as they age, completely normal.

Unless its looking neglected there's no way you can tell that it needs protecting. Feral cats can also be friendly and pets can be timid.

Do everything you can to trace its owners, checking for chips, asking around, posters, online appeals. Many cats won't tolerate collars.

There's also a chance that it's lost, in which case there's a desperate family out there going spare with worry.

thecatneuterer · 30/04/2021 18:24

The chances of a cat turning up that could be harmed by a normal diet compared to the chances of a stray/lost cat in need of help turning up are probably millions to one. And it's not for long. It's only to establish if it does indeed have an owner, which is something that can be done very easily with a paper collar or a scanner.

QueenPaw · 30/04/2021 18:41

@Pumperthepumper so if I came across a scruffy looking cat I would ask someone to scan. If they couldn't get out for a few days and I was unable to get the cat to the vet, I would feed
I'm currently feeding a cat on the advice of cats protection and I also let it inside because despite having an owner, it's neglected but just under the threshold for anything to be done

Pumperthepumper · 30/04/2021 18:44

[quote QueenPaw]@Pumperthepumper so if I came across a scruffy looking cat I would ask someone to scan. If they couldn't get out for a few days and I was unable to get the cat to the vet, I would feed
I'm currently feeding a cat on the advice of cats protection and I also let it inside because despite having an owner, it's neglected but just under the threshold for anything to be done[/quote]
And are you prepared to pay for its vet bills?

QueenPaw · 30/04/2021 19:01

@Pumperthepumper I've already paid for flea and worm treatment. He won't need vet bills from food given I've been feeding him grain free high meat content food for 2.5 years
Or I could leave him outside all night in winter while he freezes. I've had advice from here, my vet, and cats protection who have visited the owner so I'm quite confident I'm doing the right thing for him
Even if I chose not to feed him, he lets himself in and eats anyway which I can't really stop when I'm in the shower etc

sashh · 30/04/2021 19:11

Try for the paper collar.

Cats vary so much it is difficult to tell, mine has half my neighbours conned that at 10 years old she is a starving kitten.

I saw her last week flat on her back showing off her fuzzy belly tot he carer of a neighbour, who fortunately was laughing.

Ferals are usually not friendly at all, but a friend had one that was 2nd or 3rd generation farm cat so mostly feral that decided one day to move into the house

Pumperthepumper · 30/04/2021 19:11

[quote QueenPaw]@Pumperthepumper I've already paid for flea and worm treatment. He won't need vet bills from food given I've been feeding him grain free high meat content food for 2.5 years
Or I could leave him outside all night in winter while he freezes. I've had advice from here, my vet, and cats protection who have visited the owner so I'm quite confident I'm doing the right thing for him
Even if I chose not to feed him, he lets himself in and eats anyway which I can't really stop when I'm in the shower etc [/quote]
So you are prepared to pay his vets bills when you feed him, which is the very thing I said to the OP. What’s the issue?

QueenPaw · 30/04/2021 19:15

I think the point is, if you see a cat that looks like it could be a stray or lost, don't ignore it
And if you can't get it to a vet then paper collar it, or ask someone to scan it, and if you can't do any of the above and it's starving then feed it cat food until you can
Don't just ignore it until it starves to death

Pumperthepumper · 30/04/2021 19:20

@QueenPaw

I think the point is, if you see a cat that looks like it could be a stray or lost, don't ignore it And if you can't get it to a vet then paper collar it, or ask someone to scan it, and if you can't do any of the above and it's starving then feed it cat food until you can Don't just ignore it until it starves to death
You can’t tell if it’s starving though, there’s no way you can tell. Better advice is: if your saviour complex doesn’t extend to paying for an actual professional to see to the cat’s needs then leave it alone and let someone else who is willing to pay for it to do it.
QueenPaw · 30/04/2021 19:33

It's not a saviour complex, its basic advice from cat rescues who deal with this all day, every day. You know, professional advice

Pumperthepumper · 30/04/2021 19:40

@QueenPaw

It's not a saviour complex, its basic advice from cat rescues who deal with this all day, every day. You know, professional advice
Of course it is a saviour complex. People want to feel good about helping a cat so they feed it because that’s the easiest, cheapest option. If they actually cared about the cat, they’d put their money where their mouth is.
Kittekats · 30/04/2021 20:41

Just because it has no collar does not mean it is a stray!!

Neither of my cats wear collars as they get rid of them within two days each time.

I’d be naffed off if anyone was feeding my cats just because they don’t have a collar on, they are clearly well looked after.

Inthesameboatatmo · 30/04/2021 20:47

My cats rip their collars off within minutes op.
It probably has an owner who may well be looking for it .
One of my cats is notorious around my way for just randomly going to anyone who will feed him.
Hes very well looked after but still can spend days with an elderly couple on my street if the mood takes him.
Put up a picture on Facebook and see if you get any responses but put a paper collar as well.

thecatneuterer · 30/04/2021 20:52

@Kittekats

Just because it has no collar does not mean it is a stray!!

Neither of my cats wear collars as they get rid of them within two days each time.

I’d be naffed off if anyone was feeding my cats just because they don’t have a collar on, they are clearly well looked after.

Nobody has said that just because it has no collar it must be stray. Most cats done have collars. Collars are bad things. It's the behaviour that gives cause for concern.

Why the outrage? Even if it is owned, where is the harm in taking a few steps to find out? Encouraging it so that either a paper collar with a message can be put on it, or it can be scanned for a chip? If your cat were lost wouldn't you be thrilled if someone did just that?

thecatneuterer · 30/04/2021 20:53

most cats DON'T have collars that should say

Original poster
Elouera · 30/04/2021 21:51

@Pumperthepumper: Feeding a cat because you quite fancy one but can’t be bothered going to a shelter is poor behaviour I never said I wouldn't go to a shelter if I wanted a cat!!! I also never said I wouldnt pay vet bills if it was stray and needed help! Its been eating bird and hedgehog food! I came here for advice as have little knowledge of cats, whether most wear collars or if there are signs I might miss that its either owned or a stray. I don't plan on stealing someone elses cat!

As mentioned in the OP, I have asked neighbours if they know who owns the cat. I've only lived her a few months. Since this post, I have also put a sign with a picture in front of my house and put a post on nextdoor.

The cat only let me pat it yesterday, but if I can, I will put a paper collar on it. Thanks for all the constructive help and advice.

OP posts:
MustBeTheWine · 30/04/2021 22:37

I like the idea of a paper collar and if you can, post a photo of the cat on your Facebook if you have an account asking if maybe someone recognises the cat, also I recommend calling your local vets for advice on what's best to feed a cat you know nothing about. Cats are devious little things! My cousins cat had a digestive disorder and was put on special diet by the vets. Cat wasn't all too keen on her new diet and conned a woman a couple of streets over that it was a stray and she fed him wet food. The cat would go home after eating and vomit all over my cousins house because she couldn't properly digest the food. You sound like you have a big heart and I understand why you're worried about the cat but best to be 100% sure that it's a stray.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/05/2021 01:43

If you have a local FaceBook group (or MyStreet or similar) then a post on there and a photo if you can.

Our boy went off piste for hours (very unlike him) , DH put a post up , we got loads of replies . So Cat People are out there , hopefully you'll get an answer .

Good luck !

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/05/2021 01:45

I think a paper collar might be ambitious , our lardy cats act like they're being skinned when they hae their drops .

YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/05/2021 13:37

Pumper - in the nicest possible way, you are posting on the Litter Tray where posters have actual expertise with cats, particularly TheCatNeuterer. The clue, in case you missed it, is in the username. TCN is a professional stray and feral cat finder and carer and she knows what she is talking about. Her advice is based on experience and evidence.

Queen also has a rescue cat and over the years has maintained close connections with CP and they have scanned many strays that her weirdo cat has brought 'coz they need help, Mama'. She acts on their advice.

I think you need to listen some more.

SappysCurry · 01/05/2021 13:47

Poor cat is eating mealworms so it’s clearly starving. Thanks for looking after him OP

QueenPaw · 01/05/2021 13:50

@YetAnotherSpartacus "weirdo" Grin
He brought me (another) black and white cat this morning, but a kitten this time prancing about with a collar and bell. No scanning needed for that one!

ProfYaffle · 01/05/2021 13:55

The cat eating mealworms doesn't mean it's starving. Mine has a taste for them and will nick them whenever she can. She's perfectly well fed. She also doesn't wear a collar - though our garden is cat proofed so she doesn't roam either.