Help me convince my mum to do the right thing RE this cat!

[Rae34]

Hi all. I share cat responsibilities with my mum - I was allowed to get a cat as a teenager, I'm now almost 30. The cat has almost always lived with my mum as I lived abroad.

However I am the cat's person & as I am in UK again she stays with me sometimes. Now she has been with me for a month & due to go back to her usual home again.

But in the meantime a new cat has semi moved in to my mum's house! For 2 months this cat pleaded to be allowed in & my mum refused. Now she has caved & allowed it in because it seems starving and tired.

But having met this cat I've seen its collar. She now tells me she has named the cat (??) & may just feed it and let it sleep on the kitchen.

1. I am not happy about this from the viewpoint of our cat's happiness

2. the cat may have a home & if it doesn't, allowing it occasional sleeps & feeds in my mum's kitchen is hardly the answer.

Can anyone advise me please?

She needs to trace the cats owner. Can't your cat stay with you?

I've managed to join a local facebook group about lost pets so I'll try that first. How can she trace the owner?

The cat could stay with me but I'm not sure it would be fair. Her usual house has a garden (which she only uses for a few minutes a couple of times a week). I'm in a large flat but no garden.

At 16 she is elderly (I say as she is doing zoomies about the place!) so just want her to have a stress free and relaxed existence as much as possible now.

It's very difficult to refuse a cat that needs a home. There are so many of the poor souls about. Your cat seems happy inside with you. Keep her with you for a bit longer and maybe she won't miss the outside?

Take the stray to the vet and get it checked for a microchip.

Your mum needs to take the cat to the vet to get it checked for a microchip. If one isn't found, then posting on local social media sites might help find the owner.

I also think it's hugely unfair on a 16yo cat to keep moving it between homes - surely you can just keep her in at your place if she only goes out once or twice a week?

Sounds like you need to do the right thing about your cat too (and I say that gently, realising that it may come across as harsh).

You keep your cat and encourage your mum to get the other cat checked. If honestly a stray then both cats now have loving, caring homes.

Win-win.

Thousands of cats with collars are also strays. Some because they are lost and many because they are abandoned. The cat should be checked for a chip and a note could be attached to the collar, but your mum is doing the right thing by looking after it.

Oh, and she will also need to check it's neutered.

A small update - the cat has continued to come every day. When he comes through our cat's cat flap we have kept him in a cat bed in the kitchen (with access to cat door) and he has stayed the night a couple of times. The first time it was snowing so we didn't throw him out!

Cat Protection put a notice out and after a week the owner replied. My mum did the paper collar thing and the owner phoned her.

Apparently her spouse died who the cat was close to. She mentioned the cat has become very thin & vet said to keep an eye on it. I do feel for him. He must miss his main owner!

Ah, that's really sad. Though I can't help thinking that the cat is being a bit of a drama llama, being so heartbroken that he simply must leave home and all the bad memories to set up elsewhere!

@HesSpartacus I don't know why he does it. The woman also said he is barely eating but he wolfs down our cat's food as soon as he is through the cat flap. Apparently, they are a 2 cat household & I think the man who died was more his person.

The upshot is the owner isn't bothered about the cat coming over and has already tried to stop him. She said he cried and cried, then started ripping up the wallpaper. We won't encourage him in though and he may well move on again anyway if he is a wanderer.

Oh dear - does sound like he's throwing a fit as (as far as he sees it), his original household has denied him access to his favourite person, so he's pretending to starve himself! Cats eh?

Sounds like his needs can be well met at home, so your mum ought to harden her heart and deny entry.

It isn't that simple @HesSpartacus. He has a magnetic key collar similar to my mum's cat. This is why he can access the cat flap - it is effectively a skeleton key for this kind of cat flap.

She isn't letting him in otherwise.