Bit of a long one so strap yourself in...
DH has had cat 1 since she was a kitten. She is 14 now. He got cat 2 also from a kitten (also female), who is almost 10. I've known DH for just over 5 years.
Cat 1 has always, always hated cat 2 and would attack her mercilessly. Cat 2 is skittish and can be shy, whereas cat 1 is the opposite (she's a tortie!).
As cat 1 got older, the attacking became worse and worse, with cat 2 rarely coming home, the most vicious fights I've ever seen and the pair of them regulars at the vet. We, and DH before me, tried everything - every plug in, anti stress tablets, re introducing them over and over and it just didn't work. We were constantly on edge.
Just over 2 years ago we fostered a kitten for a shelter I volunteer at, and failed miserably, so cat 3 (male) joined the ranks. He's a funny, happy little soul who absolutely loves other cats. He adores cat 2 and they spend a lot of time together.
Over the last year or so, the violence from cat 1 towards cat 2 escalated so much that cat 2 just wouldn't come in the house. Cat 1 has put her in the vet several times (I posted about it here at the time). She would tolerate cat 3, maybe because he's a boy.
In summer last year, MIL agreed to adopt cat 1, with us covering vet and food bills - when there's no other cats around she's actually a nice thing, doesn't want much other than food, a lap, and a patch of sunlight to lie in. The transformation in cat 2 has been incredible - she's so funny and affectionate and loves being indoors with us and cat 3.
You've guessed it, dear reader - MIL no longer wants cat 1. Cat 1 has had a spate of vomiting and pooing in the house - vet has given her a clean bill of health, recommended one of those bowls that slow down her eating to stop the vomiting and has given some tips to stop the pooing in random places. We've even offered to pay for a cat behaviourist, but she just doesn't want it (MIL has form for such things).
Now I feel we're in limbo. We need to think about the quality of life of both cats, and bringing them back into a home together just isn't feasible, especially for cat 2 who is the target of cat 1's hatred. We don't want to separate cat 2 and cat 3 as they are bonded, so feel we need to look into rehoming cat 1.
None of our friends and family can help as they either have cats or don't like them. Are there people put there who would really take on an older, slightly crotchety old girl?
I would appreciate any ideas or feedback. DH hates the idea of her going to a stranger but is starting to see there may be no other option. If it came down to it and we couldn't find a home for her, we would of course take her back, but the repercussions would be huge.
Well done if you made it to the end!