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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Making the hard decision about a beloved cat

7 replies

kittycorner · 11/03/2021 12:26

I'm really struggling with what to do about one of our cats. He's only 10 years old and over the last year has developed a slew of behaviour/health challenges. Through all this we've noticed some very unusual behaviours - jumping into the air for no reason, suddenly becoming very aggressive with random attacks on our other cat who there was never an issue with before. Peeing everywhere, every possible surface - beds, pillows, bedding, laundry, baskets, chairs. Staring at walls. Yowling for hour long episodes 2-3x a night. He's had to be separated from the other cat as he attacks her every opportunity he gets. We've tried everything. He's seen the vets 18x in the last year. When we found his blood sugar was low we were sure that was why, but we got that stabalised and he's worse not better. He's been tested for so many things, they can't find any reason. He's had 6 blood tests, two ultrasounds, an xray. Nothing is providing any answers. We've tried pain relief of two forms in case there's something tests don't show and he's in pain.

We've started wondering about dementia. Despite the fact he's only 10.

In the last 24 hours he's tried to attack the other cat multiple times (other cat now mostly stays in bedroom with door closed to stay safe), peed on two beds (if you close a door to the bedrooms he headbuts repeatedly until you let him in, no distraction works and he will head butt for an hour or more), and peed on all the lounge furniture and the floor, he had me up 4 x last night crying and nothing would settle him. He's tried to attack again and again, has vomited food once, has run after things that aren't there. Is now crying again. He woke my dc up last night and had me up several times. Non stop crying, scratching the floor, yowling.

Should add we have two litter boxes that are cleaned morning and night and washed out weekly. We had three until a week ago, it's made no difference.

We have one last medication to try from the vet. The vets were hopeful it was something physical so we could treat it, but they've also come to the conclusion it's emotional or something undiagnosable. There are no more tests to do.

He is such a lovely cat. So special to my dc. Very loving. Always snuggled up while we were in the worst of lockdown. But it's clear there's something very wrong that we can't fix and the behaviours are to the point now where it's clear he's struggling and will do things that are painful and can't stop. He's constantly agitated at night. Can't be alone.

How do you know when it isn't 'sickness' like cancer etc that the time is right? I can't even believe we are in this situation. He's a young cat and everything was normal until a year ago but every month it's getting worse, not better.

OP posts:
TheLongRider · 11/03/2021 14:16

Ok, that's tough but it sounds as if he has to go. Would it be possible to re-home him rather than have him PTS? Re-homing him would mean that if he was an only cat maybe some of his behaviours wouldn't occur.

MMM2 · 11/03/2021 14:21

Think its time to let him go, if you rehome him it might make his behaviour even worse and thats unkind to him and whoever homes him.
Sounds like dementia possibly.

kittycorner · 11/03/2021 15:08

Thanks. I also feel rehoming is cruel, though the right idea for many situations. He’s very very very skittish and only likes his people. He will hide for days if anyone else enters our home.

I’ve re-read my post and I genuinely think he has dementia. He’s had a complete personality change. Not himself at all and getting worse month by month...

The guilt is huge though. We all love him so much.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 12/03/2021 08:06

Very sorry OP but I think it's time to pts - he doesn't sound at all happy and from your description it does look like dementia or some other neuological problems.
From your post you have clearly gone above and beyond with your vet to try and solve this - like you I think rehoming would be the wrong approach too.
Flowers

KTD27 · 12/03/2021 08:14

Op one of the things I read on here when I was struggling with our decision was - it’s time to PTS when you start to ask the question when it’s time. It sounds really tough for you and for the poor kitty and it’s such a hard decision Flowers

kittycorner · 13/03/2021 04:11

Thank you so much everyone. It's such an awful situation. @Grumpyoldpersonwithcats you have said something I hadn't realized or thought about but you are right, he isn't happy. There's something so very wrong that I can't fix for him. @KTD27 that's interesting, and makes sense. Never did I imagine a year ago this is where we'd be, but you are right the fact we are considering it, says a lot.

I'm going to take a week. Thank you everyone for helping me sift through my thoughts.

OP posts:
JasperLily · 13/03/2021 23:09

Op, before you make a final decision maybe speak to some local rescues. Not the big ones, but maybe some that have sanctuary spaces. Sometimes smaller rescues that offer sanctuary can take in cats like this as they can deal with issues that are so hard to deal with in family homes. It’s obvious you love him, and maybe there could be a rescue that could take him and help him live a happy sanctuary life.

Where I volunteer we prioritise cats that other rescues won’t take and we offer life long sanctuary in a free roaming environment. We have cats that are totally feral, down to ones that are friendly but just like to pee everywhere and everything in between. These cats can have as much or as little interaction with volunteers as they want. Some of our long term residents spend all day with us.

Catchat.org will list all your local rescues. Hope this helps.

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