How did you mourn your cat?

[ElderlyCatAdorer]

Hello all. I put my adorable elderly lady to sleep last week (nearly 21 years old). It was a peaceful passing, with her being stroked and whispered sweet nothings to just before her little nose fell onto her paws for the last time, absolutely the right thing to do and she was relishing some aspects of life up until the end.

I took the afternoon off to spend with her before PTS in the evening and was at work the next day. Work is keeping me busy but in between meetings I feel subdued, distracted, heartbroken, irritable and - am usually quite a joyful, optimistic person - like the joy has gone out of the world.

I understand this is inevitable. What did you do to help you mourn/mourn in a healthy way? Have kept some mementos, had a cry when I feel like it (often). Bought a book on pet grief but cannot bring myself to read it yet.

It is not like I haven't mourned a ton of close relatives in recent years (unfortunately) but she was the first pet I ever had and I don't know how to deal with it or how much to mention it at work or to others.

What did you do which helped?

I'm sorry for your loss.

Talking about it with others who had been through the same thing helped me - if you have friends or colleagues who are pet owners, do mention it. You don't have to make a big announcement - just say you are feeling low at the moment after the death of your cat.

Allowing yourself time to grieve is important - do this as your own pace, let yourself cry if you feel like it, but don't worry if you don't.

Remember that although you can never replace a cat, you can fill the cat-shaped hole in your life if that's something you want to do, by finding a new cat to love in new ways when you feel ready.

Same here OP my 19 year old PTS 2 weeks ago feel awful. I'm so sorry you are feeling sad.
I'm holding an evening vigil for my girl every night for a full cycle of the moon. Her ashes are in my goddess statue and I light candles for her every evening and spend some time thinking about how she changed my life and how lovely she was. At the end of the months cycle I will let her go with love because I believe they have things to do and places to go after this life and my grief shouldn't hold her back. I'll never forget her.

I've had lots of cats that have all died of old age. I cried a lot, put their photos up, keep one toy of theirs then I left it a week. After a week without a cat in my life was unbearable, so I rescued another two friends! 😁

I don't have any advice OP but you're not alone. My elderly girl was PTS on Friday evening and the pain is something else. I also lost close family in the past year (including my mum a month ago) so losing my little cat too just feels so cruel. She did live a great life though and I try to remember that. The place feels so empty without her. My fiance and I are just crying at the drop of a hat.

Absolutely dreading work tomorrow, don't know how I'm going to focus on anything.

The first few weeks are unbearably raw and empty, but it will settle into a manageable grief in time.
I always find printing out a favourite photo and buying a nice frame for it helps. There are a few online memorial sites where you can post about your beloved kitty.
With my most recent loss I bought a vivid arts cat ornament from amazon. They are very realistic. It sits under a bench in the garden and is the first thing I look for when I open the curtains in the morning.

I made one of those multi photo frames, with all
My favourite pics on it. Some of her ashes are mixed into a glass ornament. With her name on. It will get easier.

I wasn't going to get another cat so soon. But my remaining cat was kinky and the right cat was in the rescue and it was like the stars aligned. She's so different, but in some ways incredibly similar to Maia.

Lonely, not kinky!

My old chap was 21, and I couldn’t face getting another cat for nearly 18 months.
Then my DD bought her first house, and adopted a rescue cat, a mad feisty Maine Coon, and I realised how much I was missing a cat in my life.
So I went to my local cat rescue and got a lovely black British Shorthair. I’ve had her 4 years now, and I wonder why I left it so long. I’d advise any grieving owner not to wait too long - when you are missing a cat, only a cat will do to fill the void.

Yes. Cheddar came home 10 days later. And that was the last undisturbed nights sleep for 8 months!

A much loved cat is part of your family. You never forget, but it becomes less painful.
Although the loss of our last cat is still very raw and it's nearly 2 years now. I have found that more cats have helped though! I had a cat shaped hole that only more would fill. We've gone from 2 to 3.
We're currently re-doing our front garden (his favourite place to hang out and socialise with his chums) and are going to scatter his ashes there. I think that will help us. We do still miss him terribly, he was a cat of a lifetime and sadly died quite young (5 years).

My last cat was pts in September last year. I must admit I find it annoying when people ask when I'm getting another cat, which they do frequently! I don't feel anywhere near ready for another.

I like all these ideas. Particularly the photo frame and the vigil. The grief is coming in waves - I keep thinking I hear the pitter patter of yer tiny claws on the wooden floors...

Thank you, all xx

We buried my boy beneath the cherry tree in the garden and ordered a garden ornament from amazon. We adopted a kitten from rescue shortly after but sadly he had to be put to sleep due to FIP - he was cremated and his ashes will be buried under the cherry tree too. The vets made a cars with his paw print which I've framed and hung on the wall.

I meant to say too - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Our beloved rescue cat was put to sleep last week after a prolonged period of health issues, so it's still very raw for me too and I understand. What I would say is that time definitely heals. We are a week in now and those first few days felt unbearable. The last couple of days have still been tough but I find myself wanting to look at pictures of her now, which I couldn't have done last week. We are moving house soon and plan to take her ashes with us and plant a tree in her memory. In time, we will get another cat I'm sure but it will never replace her. We just have a lot of love to give and are all animal lovers so I can't imagine life without one, but it's too soon right now.

[Flowers] to you @scottishmama86. Think it may be a little while until I get another cat too though there will likely always be a car in my life.

Yesterday was the first day I didn't cry at any point but my goodness, my heart still aches. Although we spent a lot of time curled up together over the years and especially over the last few days, I would give anything to be able to kiss the top of her little head while she purred loudly at me and leant into the kiss.

I was heartbroken when I had my boy pts - he was the grand old age of 15. I had him from the moment he was born on my sofa. I have his ashes next to a picture of him, and I have found comfort in doing this.

I'm so sorry op. It's incredibly painful loosing something that's been such a constant in your life. It's has to be one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make when my boys time came and have him PTS.
I sobbed buckets when I lost him early last year and if I'm honest, still miss him badly - would give anything for one last cuddle.

We burried him in the back garden and will plant a beautiful blue / purple hydrangea as his plant. That way if we ever move we can plant another one in his memory so that's Dave's plant.
Give yourself time if / when you get another cat. I got a new guy about 6 months later which for me was in hind sight a bit too soon. As cute as he is he's not Dave but I'm sure in time we'll get there.
I had my boy for 15 wonderful years and so many beautiful memories which have made my life so much richer.

Hold onto to yours op

So sorry for your loss. We lost our beloved girl a year ago. She was only young too. No idea of the actual age because she was a rescue pet, but the estimated age was 13. We were devastated for months, missing her company so much. DH didn't want to get a new cat, but DD kept sending him pics of this litter of kittens with a gorgeous girl standing timidly in the corner. He said he was only interested in that kitten & agreed to go see her. Of course, he fell in love & that timid thing is now a bundle of energy that has made us think less about the pain of losing our last baby. We'll always remember her, but this helps.

I made her name into my computer password. Over time, with changing passwords on many devices, I still keep her name as part of them. So I type that name every day and I remember my girl.