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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

8 y/o DD struggling with new kittens

10 replies

Lizardlegs · 27/02/2021 21:38

Hello!

After years of asking us for a cat we got two lovely Maine coon kittens to join our single-child family last weekend. The kittens are absolutely sweet and cuddly and my DH and I have bonded with them. However, DD is really struggling and doesn't like having them in her sight even! She was feeling anxious beforehand, and now I'm worried that the kittens have made that worse rather than better. I think she doesn't like how unpredictable they are, and how they can be cuddly one moment and crazy and attacking each other the next.

I got these kittens in part (honestly) to be my emotional support animals as I myself am having a hard time with perimenopause and anxiety. I don't want to give them up if I don't have to. But how can I help DD get over her fears?

Any advice very welcome. This is so difficult, so different from what we were expecting...

OP posts:

Disressingtimes · 27/02/2021 22:00

Is it fear or is that she is jealous as you and DH have bonded with them and are giving them attention?
Would making her more involved, such as giving her the job of feeding them one meal a day/being in charge of topping up water or asking her to pick a new toy for them, help her warm to them maybe?

TheLongRider · 27/02/2021 22:19

We got DD a kitten when she was seven and despite having grown up with cats DD was very nervous.

Teaching DD about cat body language helped. If the kitten came towards her with its tail up we could tell her to talk to the kitten. Playing with stick toys, dangly toys, or always having a small toy at hand to throw to get the kitten away from her was very important. Getting DD to stroke the kitten when she was with one if us helped too.

It will take time, weeks rather than days. This was DD and kitten about six weeks after we got her. Five years later they are best mates and the cat sleeps on her bed and supervises her school work.

Mumdiva99 · 27/02/2021 22:40

My son was 8 when we got ours last summer. When I told him we were getting cats he cried. He said he didn't want cats, they would stop us doing things, we wouldn't be able to go away, they would take all our money....blah blah blah.....
He was scared of the change. Scared of not being important to us (he has older siblings but I wonder if he feels like the baby of the family?)......he took a while to get used to them and accepts them. They didn't really give him much love when they first came....once they started to sleep on his lap, he came around. He still tells me excitedly if they are sleeping on his bed. Give it time and reassure her that you still love her. Also let her feed them one meal a day so she sees the kittens being pleased about what she's doing.

Original poster

Lizardlegs · 27/02/2021 23:00

Thank you for all the advice everyone, it's much appreciated. 🙏

OP posts:

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/02/2021 08:29

My DD was 7 when we got our dog and it was not dissimilar to get a younger sibling she was exciting, jealous and nervous all bundled up together. It took about 5 weeks to settle and get used to each other.
Cats are a bit easier than dogs as they are more respectful of space etc. Encourage her to help with feeding etc so she gets to feel a little bit in 'charge' having jobs. Maine Coons are great as they are really responsive to training which she might enjoy, cats can be clicker trained to do all kinds of things.

Cattitudes · 28/02/2021 08:44

It might be worth talking about kittens being like a much younger child such as a reception child/ nursery child (whatever she has understanding of), they are funny and cuddly but totally unpredictable. Very soon though they will grow into a more sensible cat. Also making sure she is really calm around them otherwise they won't trust her. Much better to have 1min of calm playing with a toy, than 5 min of her being anxious around them so make sure she has somewhere and opportunity to escape.

TroysMammy · 28/02/2021 09:08

OP you need to post pictures of the kittens. It's the first rule of The Litter Tray.

TheVanguardSix · 28/02/2021 09:29

Cat and dog owner here. With the kids, we bought the National Geographic How to Speak Cat and also the How to Speak Dog books. They're really, really great at helping kids understand the way cats communicate with their humans.

It'll get easier, OP. Kittens are full-on, and a pair of them together can be emotionally exhausting for a child. When we got our second cat (as a kitten), DD, who is rather sensitive and anxious by nature, had a period of anti-kitten 'meltdowns'. Our old ginger tom was 7 and we'd gotten him when he was around 2. So this was DD's first time dealing with an actual kitten when we brought home cat number 2. The first week was bliss. Then it went downhill. Our old boy wasn't happy. DD wasn't happy. This wild thing took over the house. DD wanted us to return the kitten. She'd had enough. Kittens are quite relentless. But it very quickly gets better and kittens grow into mellower young cats quite fast. Our 'kitten' will turn a year in about a month. DD is now asking for 3 more kittens (not gonna happen! ). She is completely besotted with him and I don't even know if she remembers wanting to get rid of him last year.

I'd get that book.

Original poster

Lizardlegs · 28/02/2021 10:40

Thank you everyone! We have the 'how to speak cat' book and it's brilliant- I'll make sure we spend a bit more time reading it with DD today. She seems more chilled this morning and is starting to see the funny side of the kittens thankfully. And here are the little fluff balls!

OP posts:

Original poster

Lizardlegs · 28/02/2021 10:41

OP posts:

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