How do you know when it is time (to PTS)?

[ElderlyCatAdorer]

Long time MN user but name-changed. Need some advice - possibly a hand-hold too.

The situation is as follows.

• Elderly moggy (20 yrs old) - rescue cat, had her for 6 years. Was indoor all her life (and indoor now)
• I am a first time cat owner.
• since I got her, she has been diagnosed with diabetes, idiopathic epilepsy (seizure once a year - no underlying reasons) and an overactive thyroid.
• it sounds like a lot and she has been on various meds but she has been purry, affectionate, lively, playful, mad keen on food etc. for years. The vets could never believe her age given her behaviour.

-...until recently. 3 seizures in a fortnight meant that she was put on anti-epilepsy meds.

• This has (as I was warned) weakened her back legs to the point now that she is only successful in jumping on or off anywhere 40/50% of the time. She no longer urinates in her litter tray, but just outside.

Tbh, I don't give a f**k about the mess/urination from a convenience point of view (puppy pads are amazing). But my heart breaks when I pop out of the room and I hear a bang and she has fallen on the floor again trying to jump on/off.

Her legs get wobblier daily. Her appetite is decent but less than it was. I put her on my lap and she purrs away but can't arrange herself into a comfortable position at all - she just flops where she is.

I have called the vet to discuss options and am waiting for a ring back. She only had her last lot of tests a week ago and no UTI or anything, but her kidneys were bad. I have been reading eg CPL guidance on how to tell that it is time but grateful for help from wise MN-ers.

I am petrified that as a first time cat owner, I will leave it too late because I won't know what to look for. Am also worried that I might be suggesting PTS too early: just before each diagnosis above I have thought "this is it, the end" and mentally prepared myself. And she has always pulled through.

Am in tears writing this. She means so much to me and DH simply doesn't get it.

Sorry for length!

I’m sorry, it’s so hard.
Listen to your vet but it sounds like it’s time to let her go. This is the kindest thing you can do for her.

I'm so sorry for your upsetting situation with your cat. Its always heartbreaking to deal with whether you are a first time cat owner or have been through it many times.
I am firmly of the belief that the most loving gift you can give your cat is a dignified death, and it is better weeks or months too soon than a day of unnecessary suffering.
As you know, cats are very stoic and dignified creatures. Once they are unable to walk/jump without falling, hold their head up and go to the toilet, you have to think about their quality of life. In your position I would make an appointment to put to sleep as soon as possible. I'm surprised and a bit annoyed your vet has not gently suggested it already.
Thinking of you at this difficult time

Thank you.

My DM is making me feel dreadful talking about PTS "well, humans get old and infirm too and you don't put us down" well, that's true mum but you understand what is happening to you and have made an active choice that you prefer the alternative.

I'm very sorry OP but frequently the answer to
'How do you know when it is time to PTS?' is
'Because you are asking that question'.
You cat is a great age but I suspect doesn't have a great quality of life anymore. I've been where you are now & you have my sympathy

Listen to your vet. Our elderly cat was at the vet quite frequently at the end. Then the vet said he thought it was time to let him go. It's heartbreaking but it's the best you can do for them.

I think maybe the vet is used to seeing her pull through too? But also it is really only the last few days that she has suddenly declined. This time a few weeks ago she was still jumping around successfully.

Thank you all so much for the kind comments and honest advice. Much appreciated.

So sorry you are going through this. Only you and your vet will know when it is the right time for her. I think if she is in pain or refuses food and water it is time to let her go. If she is comfortable and still eating then take each day as it comes.

Better a day too soon than a moment too late. It’s heartbreaking though , my sympathies x

OP I'm so sorry, I'm still heartbroken from having to put my 19 year old lovely girl PTS on Monday.
She's my 8th cat and only one has died naturally in her sleep.
Buns has hyperthyroidism, chronic kidney disease, inflammatory bowl disease, osteoarthritis and a predilection for digging to Australia in the litter tray, stepping in it and treading it all over the house. I'd often come home to armageddon She had diarrhoea for around 5 or so years so you can imagine.
Up until the weekend she was ok, she struggled with her back legs due to her arthritis, drank huge amounts of water due to her kidney disease but still enjoyed her food and got excited everytime I went into the kitchen.
On Sunday her hind legs pretty much went, no more jumping onto the bed, she stopped eating and drinking, there were no poos as she was dehydrated, she was quite confused and all she wanted to do was to hide in the cupboard with her face to the wall although she enjoyed a stroke.
I knew it was time. We went off to the vet on Monday morning and she went very peacefully.
I hope that helps a bit.

My DM is making me feel dreadful talking about PTS "well, humans get old and infirm too and you don't put us down" well, that's true mum but you understand what is happening to you and have made an active choice that you prefer the alternative.

I want my end to be exactly like my cat's end, it was beautiful and painless and surrounded by love, I don't want to be in a bed racked with pain until the bitter end.

Thank you so much for sharing your story @Shehasadiamondinthesky - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Pawprints on your heart really does describe it well

Cats purr when they're distressed also, people mistake it for contentment when they're just trying to self sooth.

Once the back legs go it's time imo.

So sorry, OP - thinking of you and your lovely girl. xxx

I'm so sorry, but I think it's time

Once they stop enjoying being a cat, in that they can no longer do what they used to do and they seem uncomfortable, it's time.

I'm very sorry. We had to make the decision a couple of years ago and it is tough.
You know your cat best. It seemed pretty clear to me when dcat stopped being " herself" and the bad outweighed the good in terms of quality of life.

Please don't wait too long. We had our ddog PTS last Christmas & I really regret his last weekend. He wasn't in pain but I could tell he was distressed & he struggled to eat & drink (tumour in his nose)

Op so sorry. We had our beautiful girl pts last year , she was 19 and had been with us since she moved in 18 years earlier. It was the hardest decision and one we agonised over for days.

She had always been very active and chilled up until a few weeks before, still jumping the fence, doing her cheeky little dances for stuff, sitting with the kids, watching our pond all the things she loved. Very quickly she struggled to jump, was fidgety and seemed agitated and in discomfort when she tried to sit, get up. And it sounds daft but she looked sad and tired, very frail.and not ‘there’.

We felt she had lost her quality of life and she should be able to go before she suffered anymore than she seemed. Our vet was of the opinion at her age it was the kindest thing too but if we insisted could medicate, tests etc but it felt unfair to put her through tests and medication at her age.

She went peacefully at the vet with my husband with her, snuggled in my old jumper and with one of the kids soft toys. ( Covid restrictions) we bought her home and said goodbye again. She is buried in the sunniest spot of hers, with a butterfly bush on top at the kids insistence.

It’s a tough decision and I felt like I was letting her down. You know your cat, and as heartbreaking as it is try and think of them. If they are struggling to jump, toilet and be the dignified creature they are I feel it is time. Sympathies op it’s hard

Sorry for anyone who has lost a pet recently blue Cross offer a good phone and email support service, and have advice for children.

This has really helped me so just jumping on to say thank you to everyone who’s given advice to the OP.
Our gorgeous boy hasn’t been well for a while. Keeps rallying but has stopped eating and drinking again so we have an appointment tomorrow. I fear it’s the end. I’m so sad. But I think we are doing the right thing. It’s time. And if it isn’t (in some miraculous way) it soon will be. OP for you.

Thank you all again. She rallied, personality-wise and is trotting about again. But still very wobbly and let's face it, it is only downhill from here. Took her into the vet's today to discuss options and asked the question about if it was their pet and they said that they would recommend PTS in next week, but not today. So have booked her in for Tuesday.

She has just crawled onto my lap, after following me into the kitchen asking for food (eating well). But she can no longer jump and is so so thin.

I am doing the right thing on Tuesday, am sure of it (I think!). Few more days together where she shall be absolutely spoilt and then I shall give her a dignified, painless departure before it gets worse. to you @KTD27.

If your vet says it’s time, then it is time.

My vet took a very passive approach. I was actually afraid to ask. I thought she would say I was a monster for asking. I actually let it go too long.

I remember the day, 11 years ago that we had to make this decision with our beloved old boy. It's the hardest thing ever but just know that it's the right thing to do. As much as you will miss her beyond words I think you'll feel a huge sense of relief that she's not suffering and struggling any longer. Thinking of you

Hope you have a lovely day snuggling up together, OP. Thinking of you both. 💐 xx