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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Is my cat just being precious?

10 replies

CrotchBurn · 06/01/2021 16:26

Semi lighthearted 😂

So I've had my little cat for five years now, she's a rescue cat and is simply adorable. Love of my life and I definitely spoil her - you know the drill: great expense until I found the exact right combo of wet and dry food she prefers, grooming, playing, a huge selection of treats, door service to let her in and out of the house when she wants, etc.

She's always been a scaredy cat around others. Hides when people come over, is distrustful of my partner (who is perfectly harmless and kind to her and who also lives with me and has done for years).

I went home for christmas and left him and the cat at home. Apparently as is always the case, she was fine, slept on his legs, accepted cuddles, etc. But now I'm back, she's back to doing the thing where when he walks near her she scampers away like her life depends on it, if he sits down on the couch with her she meows loudly and jumps off, literally runs away whenever he comes near!

Why is she still doing this after five years of peaceful coliving and especially when shes fine when I'm not there? It's like she doesnt like him but has absolutely no reason to! He says it's because shes just being precious and is spoiled - do you think there could be some truth to that? Hes not even one of those loud bellowing men!

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 06/01/2021 16:29

Our cat is the same about DH. She’ll sometimes walk out of a room if he enters. I think it just because I’m the one that feeds her, plays with her, etc.

IfTheSockFits · 06/01/2021 16:30

Two words:

Cupboard Love.

Grin

She knows which side her bread is buttered. Of course she is going to accept attention from him and pander to his desire for a furry companion on his lap when he's the one feeding her. Now you're back she doesn't need to show him any affection, so she doesn't.

TheLongRider · 06/01/2021 16:31

I think he's right! She knows her behaviour gets a reaction from you so she'll continue to act as if he's radioactive.

Living with a cat is like living with permanent non-verbal toddlers. You have to ignore bad behaviour and praise good behaviour. It might help if your DH feeds her and strokes her at the same time.

She's just being a little madam!

CrotchBurn · 06/01/2021 16:34

@Finfintytint
She’ll sometimes walk out of a room if he enters.

That did make me smile - it's so....disdainful!

Well I guess this definitely proves the stereotype of cats maybe not loving us as much as we love them. Clearly they ARE basically just opportunistic. Doesnt make me love them any less!

OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 06/01/2021 16:34

Cupboard love and she Can Act Terribly.

Bargebill19 · 06/01/2021 16:35

Otherwise known as a cat

TodgerStrunk · 06/01/2021 16:40

I feed the cats. I buy the correct cat food. I make comfortable, warm beds for them. I give them treats. I let them out, I let them in. Obviously they have a cat flap which I bought as well.
One tolerates me. The other acts like I regularly kick it across the room. DD can pick her up and give her upsidedown cuddles, but I accidentally touch her and she has to lick off my germs. Even if I were draped in Dreamies she wouldn't go near me.

CrotchBurn · 06/01/2021 16:44

@TodgerStrunk
😐 This blows the "cupboard love" theory into pieces...🧐

Do you talk to them? I have a nauseating voice I use with mine, really gushing and high pitched, the kind I would NEVER use with a baby even 😂 DP has to cringingly mimic that voice to try and stroke her...

OP posts:
TodgerStrunk · 06/01/2021 18:55

Do you talk to them? Yup. I also translate for DH and DD. In fact we've just had a stand off where there was been whinging and I've said they need feeding and DH has said they don't and I have said "that's a hungry noise" and he has said "I've just fed them" and I have said "not enough, I bet it's all gone" and he has said "it can't have" and the howling has continued until I followed the pathetic starving cat to the empty bowl in order to refill it.

Also DD and DH constantly fat shame them and insult their intelligence to their faces, I do not. Yet - I am shunned.

viques · 08/01/2021 13:49

Years ago my upstairs landlords cat was like that. Looked straight through me, ignored overtures of friendship. Until they went away and left me wielding the tin opener. Then he was all over me like a rash, he was a huge black and white London bruiser who would turn into a soft as butter very heavy lap cat as soon as their car turned the corner.

And reverse when they came home.

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