New kitten - as lost my darling Milly at 5 years old

[Mharte88]

Hi,
i am not new to Mumsnet, I wrote about my little ginger girl earlier this year. She developed Liver problem and i didn't recognise it. Last Monday the decision had to be made. I have never been hit with grief like it. Felt sick couldn't sleep couldn't eat and thought I would never be able to just relax again. It isn't long, I know, but I also know I cannot live like this without a kitten. My question, if anyone can help me please, I only feel that rush of love when I see another ginger girl kitten. I have read just now on here, a lady who I related to so much lost her beloved cat and felt all the things I did. Should I stay with ginger kittens, as I feel this way. The thought of not giving another dear little kitten the love they deserve, feels me with guilt and dread. I have also learned tonight, on here, little male ginger kittens are more affectionate. My girl was always shy, slept on the bed with me and knocked the pencil out of my hand when I was colouring to get my attention. Tapped me on the nose to wake me up for her biscuits, but at always the right time? Very clever. I thought keeping a ginger boy kitten indoors, as I did with Milly, to keep her safe and I live in a flat, was a bit unkind, as they are "Tom cats" and like to explore etc., But doing all the research tonight, as it is not hurting so much talking about her and this, the general opinion by people who know what they are talking about, is to keep your cat in and keep him/her safe. This has opened up and doubled my chances of getting a kitten now. It is a shame really, the COV-10 has seen people really hiking the price for out lovely tabbies and mixed breed. I saw a girl today she was wonderful £150, so happy felt that for the first time since she went, but the advert was withdrawn with three left to sell? I had requested to buy one too. Its just a set back of course. I am sorry this is long, but Mumsnet was the only place I could bring myself to talk about this. Mumsnet really helped me when my darling girl was to podgy, wonderful people. I hope you understand and should you want to message back, I hope you do. I have no pictures (like last time), never got a chance to put one up. I did say thank you to you all, lovely people. Stay safe and it is almost Happy New Year; I hope this coming year brings you all happiness and much joy in everything you are doing.
Love Molly x

If you can wait a rescue will have ginger female, if you like a particular sort of cat I see no harm in having another.

I’m sorry you lost your girl, I know how it feels.

Thank you Fluffycloud77
It was kind of you to message. I have felt so much more alive since I made the decision to get another kitten, abd although it is very quick, I know my life will not be full of happiness again, until I do.
I am in a flat which does not allow pets, unless they are in a cage? So for 3 years that I have lived here, I have been on edge they may have discovered her. However there is a loop whole in that she is in a cage - the flat, should I ever need to answer to them. I know of at least two large dogs here to on my floor!! I tell you this as rescue are much stricter and would need to inspect the property, not sure about whether they would approach the Landlord.
The bond with my girl started very early as the lady let me have her at 6 weeks, five years ago, for £30. how the epidemic has changed the face of purchasing little moggie cats!! I saw £850 for a black and white pretty little thing, but that is really steep. The sellers know we needed them for company when Lockdown first hit.

With me my life is totally empty without her, so it had nothing to do with lockdown,
I said I would not spend £300 but I know, without a doubt, looking at the market place, I will, in order to have another chance at the happiness given to me by her, and in turn to love with all my heart, another little kitten. x

I am so sorry you lost your cat, its heart breaking isn't it. Mine was killed suddenly on Christmas day. I don't intend to rush into 'replacing' her, she was unique and so special to us, but I have a cat shaped hole in my heart and couldn't say never again (I have said goodbye to 4 cats in 15 years but I know I still have that love to offer another). I would like to rescue an older cat, but I have a young dog so not sure if I would be accepted. I have been looking online but my gut tells me its too soon to rush into anything. If you are drawn to getting a similar looking cat there's nothing wrong with that (lots of people favour a particular breed of dog for example) good luck with your search and moving forward with your grief.

Dear WW,

I lost her on the 21 December 2020. So far managed one day, not crying and I don't cry i just try and think of something else, I changed the bed around etc., But this is different.
I have learned although you and I have had the exact same tragic awful and heart breaking thing happen to us, how we cope, or how we start to heal is such a personal and unique thing.

I always answered this question of how do you get over losing a beloved pet, with you have to get another. But of course, now I was hit with would I love another, should I go for a cat completely different, to finally after so many tears, I think i will throw it out there, either a girl ginger cat or a boy, as they are very affectionate. My Milly was, so intelligent, but not a lap cat at all.
I think all I can say to you my dear friend, is if you can go through this a day at a time, you will notice slight improvements in your grief. If I am totally honest, because you say about being "special" , I have pulled away from saying what I think would be best for you.
Just know you wrote so kindly to me, and you would not have known, how you feel, is exactly the same as I felt about her.
Meanwhile my other daughter who is 41, is hoping I will not get another kitten, but when you live alone and have had a special pet for five years, is there really any other choice? I want to give that love again and of course, selfishly I know, receive it back. I thought pet insurance was about £50 a month as everyone kept saying how expensive it is and I believed them. My son in law has insurance for his new kitten who is now a cat, £10 a month? Just feel it could have so easily been avoided if I had done my due care and diligence, and found out!!
I hope, I truly do, that you can go forward and you do feel better and I wish you every success and luck in whatever decision you go with.

Molly x