Am I a one-cat (in my lifetime) person?

[largeprintagathachristie]

Couldn't think of of snappy subject header, but essentially, I both want and don't want another cat, after mine was put to sleep four months ago. She was 12 years-ish. Had stomach cancer.

I found the grief very acute for, say, the first month. Having a little cry as I type this, but generally I just miss her now without feeling emotionally pole axed. Still tend to wake up and

She was my first (only?) cat as an adult, I was living alone (but with her) for most of her life and she was just such a fantastic cat. Funny, sociable, valiant, cuddly; of course I'm biased! I didn't choose her as such; I put a toe in the water to foster a cat and the shelter just delivered the one that needed a break the most. It was this skinny one year old, abandoned when pregnant. She never left.

I'm going to want the next cat to be her, aren't I? Yet at the same time as different as possible to her.

Whoops, having a proper cry, now. Maybe too early to think about it.

So sorry for your loss. We lost one of our 17 yr old sibling cats this summer and I was utterly bereft. There aren’t very many people in my life that I would grieve for as I did for that cat to be honest! His sisterhas gone a bit senile since he went and we are about to take in an abandoned mum and her kitten (like yours, the mum is probably only a year old herself and was left behind, pregnant, when her owners moved house). I’m slightly anxious about it but it’s the right thing to do for them, for our poor lonely girl and for my kids who have only known sedate elderly cats and love the idea of a kitten.

In your position I think I would want another but there is no rush. Could you foster again and see what happens? At least that way you wouldn’t be necessarily replacing’ your lost cat? There’s no rush though. Personally, I don’t think I could live without a cat.

I really do feel your pain. Every time I lose one of ours I think that will be the last but it never is. I miss having a cat in the house and yes to start with it is THAT cat that I am missing and grieving for.

The last time I lost two cats in quick succession and it was awful. That was it, I was done, no more cats for me. But the house was empty. I stupidly looked on a local rescue site and saw two ginger kittens and was convinced by my then 12 year old DS that we needed kittens. When we first got them I did compare them to my old cat but then started noticing their own little quirks which made me laugh and do you know what I was happy they weren't like my previous cats as it would have been hard to separate the memories if they were all the same. We adore our two (which has now turned into three 🙄) but I love them because they are different.

I hope you eventually feel able to have another cat. It sounds like it would be extremely loved and lucky to have you.

I think some cats are just so loving and loyal that you develop a much stronger emotional bond with them. I've had 7 cats in my lifetime and have been very upset each time one has died but one of the two cats I have now is so unbelievably special to me and my family that if we lost him I'm not sure I could ever get another cat. He would quite simply be irreplaceable. There is just something about him. He would make an amazing therapy animal as he senses when children are sad and goes to comfort them. He wipes their tears away with his face and calms them down. He is 11 now and I hope more than anything that he lives to a good old age. The other cat we have is lovely too but just not on the same level as this one.

My once in a lifetime cat was put to sleep 14 years ago. She too was only 12 and her cancer was also untreatable. She was affectionate, funny, cuddly, clever and I thought she was very beautiful. I still miss her and I know I'll never have another cat like her.

But that doesn't mean I haven't loved her successors. I did, and do, and every single one has been very different in personality. I have three at the moment and they brighten up my life and my family's.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. It sounds as though it might be a bit too soon for you.

I’m like that, so was my mum. What I say is that if one appears in my life I’ll be happy to let it in, but I won’t go looking.

So if a stray turned up, or someone told me their cat had kittens or a partner had/wanted a cat I’d be happy. Or if a friend/relative/neighbour died or got ill I would never let a cat in my orbit fo to a rescue.

But I had my cat a long time ago. I love you Pie. Sleep tight.

I decided to wait after Maia died to get another one. Because I wanted her sister a to have a chance to be the boss. However the right cat came up almost immediately and I adopted her two weeks later. For me and for Magic it was absolutely the best thing I could have done. It really helped fill the Maia shaped hole. I still miss Maia terribly, but cheddar really helped.

Oh OP, sorry to hear of your loss .

Our 'first-born' fur baby was put to sleep in April 2017, she was 21. I intensely grieved and swore I would never get another cat a) because they would never 'match' her and b) because the pain was too great and I said I would never want to go through that again.

However, 3 years ago (today, as it happens), we welcomed another rescue into our home. We love her so much and she brings so much joy to the household, she means so much to the DC and the house feels like a home again.

We still talk about her 'sister' every day, and I still miss her intensely. The bond with her was inexplicable and I still miss her so, so much. I'm welling up now thinking about it.

However, we do really love her successor and wouldn't be without her.

Do what you feel is right, but I promise you that you can love another, though it won't - and shouldn't - replace what you had with your first.

I have cats - one who is very much "mine" - I can't imagine loving another cat the way I love
Him and although i hope to have many more years with him yet sometimes I feel absolutely bereft at the thought of him not being here one day. I'm pretty sure I'll go on to have more cats but none will ever be like him

Thank you all for your posts.

@EnPoinsettia, yes, I've thought that. If a cat turned up into my life, a true stray, a friend or neighbour getting ill/moving/whatever and not able to look after their cat, that would be good. I wouldn't have gone looking, but a cat in need would have come to me. In a Christmas movie this would happen!

Looking into fostering might well be the way forward. Less emotional weight. But potentially the weight of a cat in my lap. (See, I might already be unrealistic; not every cat's a lap cat.)

Thank you for telling me about your lovely cats.
'Night to those who are no longer with us.

Sorry for your sad loss

I've always had more than one cat at a time, so when I've lost one cat, there's always one or maybe 2 still in my life. One cat I had was a wonderful boy, the cat of my heart. Maybe you won't ever adore another cat like you did your lovely girl, but I think you'll be surprised at how much you can give to another puss. You never know, if you do foster, maybe you'll be a foster fail

I'm sorry for your loss.

I had the most perfect cat ever, he was the love of my life. He was an utter joy and everyone that met him, fell in love with him. He was handsome, clever, sweet, affectionate, funny, the whole package. My heart broke into a million pieces when he died and I still grieve for him four years later.

However I adopted a little boy back in February, he's a bloody stripy nutter who's turned my life upside down. He'll never replace my original boy (I wouldn't want him to) but he fills my heart with new love and joy.

😥😥 and 😻😻such beautiful posts from everyone
Cats are wonderful - each and every one 😻