Feeling Guilty about Cat Dying Today

[Topsy44]

Just written quite a long post but don't think I posted it so will keep this one brief!

My gorgeous 12 year old moggy died today when the vet was giving him bloods. He was diagnosed with a thyroid problem 6 weeks ago and were trying to get his levels right so he could have the op. He went really downhill at the weekend, stopped eating and looked so sad.

I had missed a couple of tablets in the last couple of weeks as he just wouldn't take them and now I'm feeling really guilty that maybe that's why he went downhill. Vet said it probably was because his levels weren't stabilised properly - wasn't very tactful and now I feel awful but maybe that's just the grief talking. He was such a lovely boy. I have to go and tell my 8 year old DD in a minute when I pick her up from school:-(

Just want to say how sorry I am that your cat has passed away. Please don't think that it is your fault and try not to blame yourself but I know that's easier said than done

Sending you a very unmumsnetty hug. Try not to beat yourself up about it (easier said than done, I know)x

Cats are notoriously bad at taking meds. You did everything you could do and that is all that matters. They hide how ill they are and go downhill quickly. Sorry for your loss xx

Don't feel guilty please, my cat had completely uncontrolled hyperthryroidism for about a year and when they have that a couple of pills won't make any difference if the pills even work which they didn't for my cat.
In the end she was stick thin and had awful diarrhoea as a result of the medication and was at deaths door too ill for the operation. Any kind of sedation would have killed her.
I took her in to have radioactive iodine therapy to try and save her as it's just an injection and they can do it without sedation and she got better.
That was three years ago and she is nearly 20 years old now, a proper little chubster and doing very well.
I could not have afforded it without insurance as it cost about £2k.
I had insurance so as a last ditch effort to save her.
My vet said no amount of pills would have saved her as the thyroid was too badly gone.

So sorry to hear your sad news about your beautiful cat..
I think guilt is very much part of grief.I don't think a couple of tablets would have made that much difference.Take care 💐

Thank you all for your lovely kind words, they have made me feel better. I think in my heart of hearts I know that like madcatladyforever's cat he probably had the thyroid problem for a while but it was never picked up and by the time we started on the tablets, he was too far gone but there's a niggling part of the grief/guilt brain that is telling me otherwise and not helped by the way the vet worded things! Hopefully, it will go away in time.

He was such a gorgeous boy, full of character - I took a lovely photo of him and my other boy only 2 weeks ago cuddled up together and he looked well so its been quite a shock today. I got him and his brother when he was about 8 weeks old and we have been through thick and thin together.

Sending you 💐and hugs, you did everything you could for him, be kind to yourself 💐

I'm sorry about your boy. Please don't feel bad. It takes a while for missed doses to have an effect. My boy has been in Vidalta for about 4 years now. We think we find the food for it to be hidden in, and then two or three days later he'll turn his nose up. I have to give him two of these a day plus half a blood pressure pill. It can be a real challenge.
I hope your dd was ok when you told her

Thank you both. My Dd really did sob when I told her and for quite a while. She has settled down now and I’ve said she can watch a Harry Potter film that she hasn’t seen for a while as a treat. Her teacher said she will meet her a bit earlier tomorrow at the drop off so that’s good.

I think it will take a few days to process today. I just wish the vet had said the same things to me that you guys are saying.

I'm very sorry for your loss. As a pp said, guilt is part of grief. The line between acting too soon/too late/did I do enough etc is an impossible torment. It sounds to me that you are a caring responsible cat owner who did everything they could.
Is this your first experience of a pet death? It never gets easier but the rawness can feel overwhelming. It will lessen in time.
What I have found comforting is to print out a favourite photo of my cat and get a nice frame for it. Maybe your daughter could help with that

I've also found out there are some vets that are just not cat people. Dont take their words to heart.

My old girl is on thyronorm for her thyroid. It took us ages to realise she had thyroid problems
It’s syrup because getting pills into her is absolutely impossible. She is on a twice a day dose but eats lots in the morning and very little later on. So I give her double dose in the morning ( have told vet). She never finishes a bowl of food so I have no idea of how much she gets.
What I’m trying to say is that is very difficult to get a cat to take medication in any kind of regular way .

I bet he had a lovely life with you . You did your best . Try not to be hard on yourself

Thank you all so much for your lovely posts. Runnerdown - thank you for letting me know about your cat's medication that has helped me knowing that and seems that in quite a few cases the medication dispersed can be a bit up and down.