Are my cats getting along?

[NotABeliever]

Hi, first time car owner and would appreciate some advice.

We have a one year old female kitten who was the only cat in the house. We took home a 4-month old kitten a couple of months ago and, save for the first few days when the older cat hissed and growled at the kitten a lot, she took to the kitten really well at first sight. The two sleep together, lick each other, play together too. They are inseparable...or are they?

We're concerned that the older kitten has changed her behaviour since the little one arrived. She's not playful and doesn't look for cuddles anymore. My DH has taken to sleeping in the annex and I've suggested he takes the older kitten with him at night to see if that makes a difference (DCat used to sleep in the annexe with my DS up until he went to uni in September). Well DH reports that when the cat is with him in the annexe at night she's completely different! She plays and she snuggles up loads. When she's in the house with the other kitten she's not interested in cuddles and refuses to play or engage with us.

Is this normal behaviour and what exactly does it mean? DH and I are splitting up and I was going to have both cats. However I'm now thinking the older cat would be happier on her own. On the other hand, she does seem to enjoy the kitten's company so I'm conflicted!
Advice greatly received!

If they're not biting or toileting in weird places it sounds ok.
Maybe cat just can't be bothered to play if it has kitten around.
I've had cats and introduced new ones and it's been either great or really awful.
Sounds fine from what you describe.

She definitely doesn't care to play when the kitten is around! Isn't that a sign that she's stressed or unhappy?

Does she play with the kitten though? It could be that all her play is used up by the little one.

If they're grooming each other and playing together it sounds like they're getting on great. One of my cats is the cuddliest thing ever but if one of the others walks into the room he gets down and pretends he isn't 😁

So would you split them up when I move out next month or are they going to be better off together? Forgot to attach picture 😊

The two of them just now 😊

Why would you split them up? They sound like they're getting on really well

I tend to agree with you that withdrawal and avoiding human contact can be a sign of stress, so I wouldn't assume your older cat is happy or attached to the new arrival. Both would be perfectly content to be an only cat, I'm sure, so if it suits you to split them up and your DH to take one with him I would be inclined to do that tbh. If you prefer to keep both, though, I'm sure that will be fine too but you'll need to address the change in behaviour and try to work out the cause. It's only been a couple of months, so it's probably just a reaction to a big change, but it could also prove to be a difficult relationship with the new cat that might take work to sort out.

Mutual grooming and co sleeping are signs of a good relationship between cats do it sounds like they do get along well.
Ensure they have separate eating, sleeping and toileting opportunities do they aren't forced to share and can have time apart if they choose.
It also sounds like your older cat might just be of an age where she's naturally becoming less playful/juvenile.

My DH would rather I had both cats and I'd love to but I'm concerned I won't have the opportunity to give her the one to one attention she seems to enjoy. I suppose it may only be a phase but what if it is not and she's actually not happy to share her space with another cat?

Would he look after older kitten properly though?. If I’d left dh I would have taken our departed boy because dh wouldn’t have done vaccinations etc.

That’s why the cat was chipped in my name.

OP if you'd love to have both cats then just have them. It's much better they rub along together with an owner who really wants them than be on their own with an owner who doesn't.
Even if your older cat is stressed or upset, it might not even be the new kitten that's the main cause but the change in your relationship that she's picking up on. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll sort it out when you're all settled, because you clearly care for her and that's what matters.

They look like the love each other!! I def wouldn't split them up if they groom each other and sleep together.

Maybe just factor in some time to spend one on one with the older cat.

They're gorgeous cats btw 😍

Thank you @Prestel
I think the other thing that may be going on with the older cat is that she misses my DS who's at uni. She is "his" cat technically and, before he left, she used to sleep in the annexe with him and get lots of attention from him. When he was back briefly last month she just fell back into the same routine she had with him. So maybe it's not to do with the kitten after all.

Oh I think keep them together ❤️ My boys, about the same age, scrapped and annoyed each other, but we lost little boy in a road accident in September and big boy is a bit lost. He’s enjoying the attention but he has become so naughty without his little playmate.