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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Resident cat showing aggression to a new kitten..

81 replies

miccoops · 16/11/2020 16:51

Hi All,

Hoping for some advice/reassurance. We have an adult male cat (Leo age 6) and 1.5 weeks ago we brought home a new kitten (Pepper 8 weeks). I've taken intros slow, kitten has her own room, did scent swapping etc. I'm doing short play/treat based meetings between them and they eat meals in the same room.

To begin with Leo was hissing A LOT and growling.. he would growl and hiss when entering Peppers room even if she wasn't in there and wouldn't rub up or come near me if I had petted her. He wouldn't come in the living room after she had been in there (even though she was put in her room) This as now stopped, he can be in the same room and I can distract him for a little while with playing and giving treats, or if he is eating.. BUT when he see's Pepper at some point he will march over and hiss right in her face, and is now swatting at her.. he doesn't hurt her and then just turns and runs off.. she's very well natured and just stays still until he stop, never fights back or anything.. and then once he has gone she gets back to playing!

Does it sound like things are going in the right direction? The hissing and growling is definitely better but the swatting/bopping at her isn't great :-(

I've brought 2 feliway friends plugins and some calming drops for Leo.

Thanks!
Michelle

OP posts:
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15
Ibizafun · 17/11/2020 20:38

I disagree with the posters saying cats don’t want a friend and they’re better on their own. When introduced young they can enrich each other’s lives, meaning they’re happy being left on their own for longer.
For example my two kittens are not related and we got them separately- the first one made the second one’s life a misery for the first few weeks as he’s male and territorial. They now adore each other and are inseparable.

Veterinari · 17/11/2020 20:42

@Ibizafun

I disagree with the posters saying cats don’t want a friend and they’re better on their own. When introduced young they can enrich each other’s lives, meaning they’re happy being left on their own for longer. For example my two kittens are not related and we got them separately- the first one made the second one’s life a misery for the first few weeks as he’s male and territorial. They now adore each other and are inseparable.
Yep - it was pointed out in an early post that chances of success is maximised when kittens are raised together.
MrsSchadenfreude · 19/11/2020 12:08

I’m in a similar situation with my older boy and rescue kitten. Most days they will sleep near each other on the bed but there is always hissing and growling at some point from the big boy. The kitten just wants to be friends. We shut the kitten in her own room overnight, and the big boy is in with us, which was working well, but two days ago he peed and crapped on the duvet. We’re two months in now and I think we will have to rehome the kitten. It’s a pity, because she is the sweetest natured cat I’ve ever had, and spends most of her time on my shoulder. But she will make someone else a lovely pet.

Original poster
miccoops · 19/11/2020 12:42

@MrsSchadenfreude so sorry to hear you might have to re-home your kitten :-( Such a promising sign that they'll sleep together you must be so disappointed.

We're still keeping our two largely separate and are doing one play/treat session a day which is going ok.. I've stopped feeding them together and brought even extra resources throughout the house.. Am praying I can make it work.. Am taking it super slow now which I think is helping but only two weeks in..

OP posts:
Original poster
miccoops · 20/11/2020 11:48

Ok so a bit of a change last few days and wanted to check this... I’ve stopped feeding together, increased resources around the house and kept them much more separate. I’ve ensured Leo has open access to the house. We do play/treat sessions in the lounge.. I leave the door slightly open so Leo can choose to come in. The last few days have been better, Leo keeps coming into the room or will meow to come in with pepper , much less hissing and growling, pretty much none now. Then today he was sniffing pepper a lot and started licking her. Mainly around her bottom.. gross! He can stay in the room with her and settle for a sit or a play for a good 10-20 mins.. no more staring either.
My only worry is that today he was sniffing and licking her and then started what i think was play fighting but was quite full on and she squealed so I separated them. It looked almost like he was biting her but there was no hissing or growling etc.. does that sound like play fighting? She’s not hurt so he hasn’t bitten her aggressively I guess but she is so much smaller than him.. Wondered what you think?

OP posts:
HappyHoppyHippo · 20/11/2020 18:15

Hope someone can help with your last post OP, I have no advice but just wanted to say they're both adorable 🐱

Ibizafun · 20/11/2020 21:35

The biting is part of grooming so nothing bad there, although it can quickly escalate to a play fight! I think the fact that he is now licking pepper shows acceptance, so I would see that as really positive.

TuttiFrutti · 21/11/2020 17:10

I am optimistic for you op, and I think you are doing all the right things. It takes time - sometimes a long time - to get an adult cat to accept a new kitten.

We have done it a few times and it has always worked for us eventually. Our current 2 cats (both neutered females) were introduced when cat 1 was 3 years old and cat 2 was a kitten. They now love each other and sleep in the same basket curled up together. At the beginning cat 1 was furious - we had hissing and growling for a few days and we did all the separate rooms/scent swapping/etc.

We've had cats in the past who would tolerate each other but didn't really love each other - but they would be in the same room and even sit on the same sofa without fighting.

Keep going! Be patient! It will depend a lot on their personalities but I think you have a good chance.

Original poster
miccoops · 06/12/2020 19:04

So thought I would share an update in case anyone with similar issues I was having comes across this post. So now at a month in what a difference! Leo seems to have accepted Pepper. They’ll greet each other with a friendly nose sniff and have rubbed faces a couple of times too. They play constantly and Leo makes lovely ‘trilling’ types sounds (like a purr/meow) when he’s playing and lets her chase him and visa versa. Sometimes it gets too rough and I’ll separate although pepper will run straight back to find him. They’ll sleep together too although haven’t cuddled yet. Very grateful for the advice which helped me to slow it down.

Resident cat showing aggression to a new kitten..
Resident cat showing aggression to a new kitten..
OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 06/12/2020 21:19

Lovely update

TheLongRider · 06/12/2020 22:26

Well done OP! My two unrelated boys would like to say it can be done. Yes there's some bickering but they are genuine friends and seek each other out.

Resident cat showing aggression to a new kitten..
Resident cat showing aggression to a new kitten..
Prestel · 07/12/2020 12:43

Lovely pics! They look pretty cuddly to me, OP. Looks like you've done a good job of helping Leo see the plus side of a new housemate, despite his initial reservations. Smile

Original poster
miccoops · 07/12/2020 13:48

@TheLongRider

Well done OP! My two unrelated boys would like to say it can be done. Yes there's some bickering but they are genuine friends and seek each other out.
Aww look at them! So cute! Pepper and Leo are all about play at the mo.. literally running riot round the house.. I need to separate them to get them to settle and have a sleep! Even when I separate they spend the whole time looking for each other.
OP posts:
Original poster
miccoops · 07/12/2020 13:48

@Prestel

Lovely pics! They look pretty cuddly to me, OP. Looks like you've done a good job of helping Leo see the plus side of a new housemate, despite his initial reservations. Smile
Thank you and thanks for all your advice! It really helped
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Shmithecat2 · 07/12/2020 18:17

I'm surprised at some of the comments on here OP, especially as you were only 10 days in at the time. I've got 6 cats. All rescued at different times (5 within about a year of each other, the last one was just over a year ago). They're all fine. 2 are quite bonded. The other 4 I suspect wouldn't give a shit if they never saw any of the others again, but they're certainly not miserable. They all rub along together perfectly well. And considering where they came from (the street) and the potential other homes for them at the time (none), they're in the best place they could be. As yours seem to be too.

Original poster
miccoops · 08/12/2020 13:38

@Shmithecat2

I'm surprised at some of the comments on here OP, especially as you were only 10 days in at the time. I've got 6 cats. All rescued at different times (5 within about a year of each other, the last one was just over a year ago). They're all fine. 2 are quite bonded. The other 4 I suspect wouldn't give a shit if they never saw any of the others again, but they're certainly not miserable. They all rub along together perfectly well. And considering where they came from (the street) and the potential other homes for them at the time (none), they're in the best place they could be. As yours seem to be too.
Thank you! Yes I was quite concerned in those early days but thankfully we’ve got there..thanks for replying
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Confusedcatlady1 · 08/12/2020 14:44

That's great to hear that things have settled down and for posting the pictures - I'm sure you're relieved too. We had the same issue when a kitten joined our household - lots of hissing but they plod along now.

jobnockey · 08/12/2020 15:08

@miccoops

So thought I would share an update in case anyone with similar issues I was having comes across this post. So now at a month in what a difference! Leo seems to have accepted Pepper. They’ll greet each other with a friendly nose sniff and have rubbed faces a couple of times too. They play constantly and Leo makes lovely ‘trilling’ types sounds (like a purr/meow) when he’s playing and lets her chase him and visa versa. Sometimes it gets too rough and I’ll separate although pepper will run straight back to find him. They’ll sleep together too although haven’t cuddled yet. Very grateful for the advice which helped me to slow it down.
Thank you for this update.

I remember you first posting about this as we're in pretty much the same boat as you I think. We've had out now 16 week kitten just over a month. Our two spend a lot of time chasing each other up and down the hallway, and kitten loves jumping out on the big cat and pouncing on him. I had to look at some videos online to check they're playing not fighting but I'm pretty sure they're having fun! Same as you we do have to separate them sometimes as the big cat doesn't seem to know that she can't really wrestle with him (yet - she'll grow!) but again, same as you, she will run straight back for more even after being bundled.

They greet one another with little nose kisses, and our big cat also makes the little trilling noise you described - it's the one he used to do for me when he came in the room and found me there, now he does it for her too whilst they're playing! if he can't find her he walks around the flat meowing...
haven't caught them being exactly affectionate yet but they have slept on the same (human) bed a few times, and they will sit near each other quietly on the odd occasion they're not tearing around after each other.
so whilst there are still occasions where big cat seems a bit grumpy, I'm quite confident that they'll get along. it's certainly brought out his playful side that's for sure, never known him be so active!
Really glad things are going well for your two as well x

jobnockey · 08/12/2020 15:12

I've just realised I was actually going to ask what you're doing about feeding them now? Are they still being fed seperately?

I'm just wondering when, if ever, I should get them to eat in the same room (the cat food smell in the living room is a bit gross!).

jobnockey · 08/12/2020 15:20

Here’s my two almost Sharing a blanket!

Resident cat showing aggression to a new kitten..
Prestel · 08/12/2020 16:29

jobnockey After four weeks you should be ok to move their food bowls to the same room. Try to set up them up in different areas, if you can, rather than right next to each other, and see how it goes.

Original poster
miccoops · 09/12/2020 09:05

@jobnockey thanks for posting! Your post sounds literally identical to me, I also had to google play fighting. Its nice to see Leo playing, really not seen that side to him. We struggle a bit in the evenings as Leo is locked in for the night so quite contained with Pepper and they play and play, but eventually get a bit rough and I have to put Pepper in her room. We haven't quite reached the stage where play naturally ends and they sleep, it seems that either Leo will have enough and go out or I have to intervene.. Pepper is his little shadow and follows him everywhere, she's star struck! I stopped feeding them together following advice on here and not planning to feed the together any time soon.. I don't want to rock the boat. Plus Leo eats wet food all in one but Pepper is a grazer so its easier in separate rooms otherwise Leo would just try to eat her food I think. I am massively relieved, at about 2 weeks in I thought we had made a terrible mistake - what a change!

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Mumdiva99 · 09/12/2020 10:25

So lovely to see your update and that they are getting on better.

Have you tried leaving them play fighting? My 2 kittens (the same age) - are quite rough when play fighting - but they do all the right things e.g. take it in turns, some times one is on top sometimes the other, stop to lick each other etc etc.....but I just let them get on with it. After about 20 minutes they stop as they are tired and need a rest. I think they learn through this how rough they can be - so if your little one hurt the bigger one she would get a swipe from him....

Original poster
miccoops · 09/12/2020 13:52

@Mumdiva99

So lovely to see your update and that they are getting on better.

Have you tried leaving them play fighting? My 2 kittens (the same age) - are quite rough when play fighting - but they do all the right things e.g. take it in turns, some times one is on top sometimes the other, stop to lick each other etc etc.....but I just let them get on with it. After about 20 minutes they stop as they are tired and need a rest. I think they learn through this how rough they can be - so if your little one hurt the bigger one she would get a swipe from him....

@Mumdiva99 funnily enough we've been discussing that this morning. I'm certainly letting them have more free run of the house together now but wouldn't let them be together without one of us home. Pepper really gives a squeal the odd time so I'll intervene and get her away, then when I put her down she sprints straight back to him. She is only 12 weeks and Leo is a very big cat so I think until she gets a bit bigger I'll still stop them when she seems unhappy as I worry.. although she has never had an injury and is literally obsessed with him.
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TheLongRider · 09/12/2020 14:02

The squealing you describe is pretty normal for kitten fights. My two play and sometimes the kitten squeaks even before big cat has done anything. Big cat has to learn that kittens are small and kittens have to learn that big cats need their space.

My two tussle together and come to an arrangement to stop fighting and go and do something else. If Leo is chirruping at Pepper he probably wants her company or to play with her.