When do you know it's time to let go?

[CaraDuneRedux]

DCat has lymphoma - has spread widely (abdomen and lungs). She is still eating, washing, and enjoying snuggles on the sofa. How do I know when it's time?

I'm so sorry you're facing this, from awful personal experience it's better early than too late.

What has her vet said?

Forgot to say cats are extremely good at hiding that they're ill so it's really hard to judge from behaviour.

When she stops either eating, cleaning herself or just sleeps all the time without cuddles. Spoil her with her favourite treats and food while she still has an appetite

To do the deed at home if you can so it's as stress free for all of you

And I'm so sorry you're about to loose her

We had our beautiful boy cat PTS last month so I'm speaking from recent experience when I say you'll know. Our boy had kidney failure and wasn't responding to treatment. He was losing his quality of life and there was nothing we could do to improve it. At the last consultation the vet gave us the options and we talked it through and made the decision. The vet had seen him a lot and even he said he looked sad. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, it's heartbreaking

I agree. You will definitely know.

Its so so hard OP, with my previous cats it was obvious when they had to go but the 6th and the last one I've been wavering for three years now, she gets sick, she gets better, then another bout of being sick then better.
She's 19 and yesterday I found her in the cupboard and I honestly thought she had passed away. She was totally limp, I couldn't make out her breathing and my heart stopped, I flicked her ears and stroked her for 5 minutes, she felt quite cold and then decided I needed to get my act together and pull her out of the cupboard whereupon she awoke and was extremely angry with me for disturbing her deep slumber.
I have no idea when this cat will be ready. I'm hoping she will just go in her sleep one day.

Thanks.

The vet is prepared to try chemo, but given that it would be weekly IV infusions, she hates the vet and it would only buy her a few months, I think we'd be doing it for our benefit rather than hers.

Good idea about seeing if the vet will PTS at home.

She is currently licking the gravy off the phenomenally expensive prescription cat food. Some things in catty life continue as normal.

We knew.

He was very old. He had a longstanding health issue (overactive thyroid) but this was managed with tablets. But he starting seeing all over the place, wasn't walking round much and was struggling to breathe.

I was giving him his thyroid tablet one evening. He was normally ok with it, but was really distressed, and eating up weeing all over me. I just thought "why am I doing this? He's dying.' If it was a painkiller I'd try harder, but there was no point. He was pts 2 days later, and the vet said his organs were all failing. He was 18 so had a good innings.

She's relatively young - only 9. Vet says we were unlucky. We've had her from a kitten - got her from the local rescue.

Oh how sad 9 is young. I don't know how good the prognosis is after chemo or any side effects but I wouldn't put a cat in their teens or beyond through it.
With our old girl we knew she was going downhill, she then bounced back then at 10pm one night a few weeks later we knew so I rang the vets first thing.

The prognosis is pretty rubbish even with chemo 4 months max.

She's curled up on DS's lap, a lovely ball of black and white snuggliness. She's doing her really cute thing where she puts one paw up on his chest.

I wouldn't put a cat through chemo, especially if the vet says she won't be cured. Id assess her quality of life. If she's still normal id just see how she goes. If she was struggling at all, id have to rethink.

My instincts are all saying "no" to chemo too! If it had turned out to just be one site, with the hope of remission, maybe. But this would just be prolonging her suffering.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond - it really helps to talk to people.

For 4 months longer then no to chemo. Cats do hide things well but with your own cat you will likely tell when her behaviour changes and they aren't happy. Do keep in contact with your vet as they can help support you.

The cat doesn't know why she's going through chemo. All she knows it's what she's experiencing. For another 4 months of life - cats live for today, not tomorrow.

It probably feels odd not to pursue a treatment. To say that's enough, when not everything has been tried. But it's totally understandable and probably the kindest thing for the cat.

The living in the now thing makes a lot of sense. She has no idea of impending death, or pain for 20 minutes now so she'll feel a bit better tomorrow, or anything like that.

Really sorry to read that she's only 9, that's no age for a cat

I'm sorry you are faced with this.

I have experienced this twice with my cats. The first time the vet told me that I will know I really panicked. It felt like a heavy responsibility. But when it came to it I knew. I really did.

The second time was recent and sadly fresh on my mind but, again, I knew.

He was a young cat (only 6) and I was offered treatment that may / may not work and he may go downhill before improving and the treatment may be needed for months before we even know if will work. Despite him being young it didn't seem fair to put him through that. I also wouldn't do chemo on a cat.

When you know they're generally not themselves to the point that they don't seem to come out of it, or in pain.
Animals instinctively hide when they're ill, so you can't tell until it's really bad for them IME.
If you feel that something that is negatively affecting their lives, and it's not going to get any better, it's time to let go.
You will know OP.
I'm sorry your dcat is poorly.
My old fella went 21 months ago. I haven't forgotten him, and cherish the last picture I took of him - although I didn't know it then.

Thank you everyone for all the support and comfort.

In the end she went down hill faster than any of us were expecting, and had to be PTS yesterday. I am missing her so much.

@CaraDuneRedux I'm so sorry. My boy cat went 4 weeks ago today and I miss him so much. It's little things that get me going: I thought he was sat on my bed yesterday and then realised it was one of DDs toys and today its raining really hard and my first thought was "I hope the cat's inside" 💐

babymoonpie.. I know what you mean - a cushion out the corner of my eye, or a t-shirt DS has dropped and I think "oh, there you are... Oh no!"

@CaraDuneRedux, I'm so sorry.
But, you knew it was right, and you made a very difficult decision.
As much as you miss her, it was the kindest thing you ever did.
FWIW, I had a few tears last night, remembering the day when I had my cat PTS, even nearly two years on. I still have his things in my garage, although I suppose one day I'll dispose of them...
Cats are buggers aren't they? The way they worm themselves into your heart, whilst being all aloof and expecting the Earth from you - and we still love them for it all the same.