Kittens - should I take them back?

[Lotsofsocks]

This may be long! We have a rescue cat who is three years old. We decided to get two kittens from a rescue and have been to pick them up today - now I'm not sure we've done the right thing!

When I was asking the rescue about cats/kittens to adopt I made it clear we had five children (and we'd rescued from them before so they had all our details) and another cat. Every cat/kitten I was interested in I asked would they be good with another cat, how would they be with children?

I was told the two I was interested in were a little shy but would be fine and that they were chipped and neutered. We've been to pick them up today and it was then confirmed that they weren't chipped and neutered as they are only 10 weeks old and the woman at the rescue couldn't confirm where they had come from! I was also told they are a little shy and will hiss a bit but keep picking them up and they will be fine. That's an understatement!

We got home and took them into one room and let them out of the carrier. They both fled into the corners of the room and won't let us anywhere near them. When we tried to get them back into the carrier one bit my husband and wouldn't let go. They were both hissing and howling. I don't know what to do for the best. The kids have come home and are all crying as they can't touch them. We'd had a rescue kitten but he'd been looked after in someone's house so was much more socialised and our rescue cat was the same. When we got her you were allowed in with the cats so could see their temperament, whether they would be picked up etc but with COVID you can't do that and have to go on what the rescue say. When we were leaving the lady at the shelter did say if you can't handle them you can bring them back which is making me think they weren't handled a lot there.

Do you think it's fairer if we take them back so they can go to a home that's quieter and may be better for them? I don't know what to do for the best.

Even just with me in the house and no noise they are terrified. Last time we got a rescue from the same place we were allowed in with the cats to see how they would interact with us which is why I asked lots of questions about them. Now I just feel like they came into the shelter and they wanted to get them out of there as quickly as possible without any interaction or socialising with them.

Op I totally get it, we had two semi feral cats from CPL 2 years ago, mum and daughter. I honestly don't think they were honest about how hard it would be. We had never had experience with semi feral cats before, and the first few months were tough. My dc are older, but even so they struggled as our previous cat had been a softy! I would ask yourself if you are prepared to put in the time and face the fact they may always be timid and nervy. One of ours is, though she does come for cuddles on occasion!
I know my situation was slightly different but in hindsight I would have asked for cats that were happy to be in a noisier, family house, despite loving them now and obviously wouldn't give them up.

@hellswelshy

Op I totally get it, we had two semi feral cats from CPL 2 years ago, mum and daughter. I honestly don't think they were honest about how hard it would be. We had never had experience with semi feral cats before, and the first few months were tough. My dc are older, but even so they struggled as our previous cat had been a softy! I would ask yourself if you are prepared to put in the time and face the fact they may always be timid and nervy. One of ours is, though she does come for cuddles on occasion! I know my situation was slightly different but in hindsight I would have asked for cats that were happy to be in a noisier, family house, despite loving them now and obviously wouldn't give them up.

Thank you - and that's the thing. I was completely honest with the rescue about the experience I have with kittens/cats and that we got our current cat from them. I just don't think it's fair on either the kittens or us if this isn't the right home for them and they will never enjoy being here.

We have a semi feral cat who wasn’t socialised as a kitten due to living on a farm. He is fine with adults to a point, really dislikes small children and will scratch but you genuinely can’t trust him. He’ll turn at the drop of a hat. So personally I’d take the kittens back. A busy home like yours with lots of children is not the right fit.

My pair are ex-ferals who were taken in to the rescue at a year old, and it's been a very long journey to get to where we are today (4 years & counting). As it happens, mine are both incredibly gentle & will never bite or scratch intentionally, but are also incredibly nervous. I can pick them both up briefly without a panic, and both now adore fusses as long as they are beside me and won't get on my lap. They are terrified of anyone else coming into the house, though they can tolerate my DSis who feeds them if I'm away.

But you have to bear in mind that I'm a single person with a quiet life who very rarely socialises, and I literally spent months letting them come to me before I could touch either one.

I think people have been excessively rude. The OP didn’t know what she was getting clearly. Being an animal lover or experienced cat owner doesn’t give you licence to be rude to someone trying to do the right thing. We would like a kitten and all the advice I’ve seen is don’t buy from a breeder go to a rescue centre. The rescue centre I’ve been to would only let you have pairs not a single kitten. This now makes me very dubious about taking that route since if rescue centres are going to be shady about the animals history.

We've taken trace kittens in and both times they need space and time to acclimate.
You can't bombard them with people.
You should have been advised to let them have a small room or crate for themselves and to let them be for a few days until they are actively interest in whats's happening outside their space.
It took 2 weeks before our newest kitten would even get out of her bed if anyone moved in her room, 4 weeks before our cat stopped hissing and growling at her. She is still very nervous and doesn't like to be picked up 5 months on.

OP I inherited a rescue cat from a deceased lady, and he had been born feral before being rehomed. When I took him, it took 3 weeks for him to come out from under the sofa he chose as his safe spot. 6 months to him sitting on my lap. He is now a complete attention seeking lap whore with me and DP, but won’t engage strangers in the house and actively avoids most people. He slept behind a sofa for years to feel secure. Sounds like the rehoming centre weren’t very good with either the history of your kittens or matching them to you correctly.

My old boy is the most gentle, sweet, affectionate little cat with us even if he is frightened of strangers, so if you decide to keep your kittens they may be lovely members of the family. But if it doesn’t work out then at least you tried, despite the rescue not matching you with an appropriate cat(s).

We barely saw our kittens for 3 days - we put them in the room, where they wouldn't even come out of the carrier. Then they spent the next couple of days hiding in the wardrobe when I went in to feed/water/change litter tray.

I'd say it took a week for them to be even vaguely comfortable in the house, and even then, for a few months, they'd often go and hide places (and leave me panicked they'd escaped and got lost).

Even now, a year later, they are the ones that choose when we're to give them affection, they're not particularly lovey cats although they are both adorable and full of character, and when they do want a hug, or a brush, or to hang out on someone's lap, there's no stopping them!

Perhaps these aren't the right kittens for you if that's not what you're looking for though?

Agree, people have been very harsh to the op, she clearly just wants to do what's right for the kittens. Do what you feel is best op.

I don’t have loads of advice OP as got DC aged one, fifteen years ago, and he’s my first cat but just wanted to say good luck! Perhaps give it a bit longer as kittens are always timid at first xx