Long term fighting between 2 cats

[JorisBonson]

DP has had 2 female cats since they were kittens, one is 13 and the younger one is around 9. I've known the cats for almost 5 years and lived with them for 2 (and DP obviously). We have a third cat, an 18 month old boy, who both girls get on famously with.

The 2 girls have never, ever been friends and have always fought badly since day 1, according to DP. It has escalated a lot in the past 3 or 4 years, with the older one viciously attacking the younger one several times. She will chase her away whenever she sees her.

We moved house a year ago and the younger one spends all day outdoors (she's always been a wanderer but this is extreme), only coming in if we physically carry her, feed her, and put her in a cosy bed, which is on a chest of drawers where the older one can't get to her.

Last night was a horrible night for her - put her in her bed as normal, and then she had terrible diarrhea in the night. The older one was sleeping on the top step, meaning the younger one had nowhere to go, so our bed and carpet were "decorated" ( not envy!).

I just don't know what to do. The younger one is a sweet, timid girl and she is deathly afraid.

We’ve tried several different types of Feliway, calming tablets, and nothing works.

I've broached the subject of rehoming one of them to DP, who absolutely will not have it (and I won't push further because I can't imagine someone forcing me to give up a pet). He has suggested getting a small kennel and cosying it up so the younger girl can at least feel warm and safe, but I'm not sure.

It’s impacting on our life at home as we can’t go away anywhere (well, not at the moment anyway)and get a catsitter as we can’t expect them to go hunting around to bring her in and go through all this rigmarole.

Any thoughts or ideas really would be appreciated.

I think Jackson galaxy videos on YouTube are your best bet, that and an extra tray.

He’ll have a video on that, cats not getting on is nothing unusual but I’ve seen him fix it for others.

This is an unhappy situation for everyone. I would think seriously about rehoming one, or at least installing some kind of heated shed outside for the one who doesn't like to come in much, perhaps with a microchip activated cat flap so she can't be bothered by the other cat in there.
You may even find she will eventually rehome herself with a neighbour where she feels more comfortable; this is what happened in a similar situation with a friend's unhappy multi-cat household.

Thanks Fluffy,

I'll suggest he looks at that.

@BlackCrow, I totally agree and it's making everyone's home life quite miserable. Last night really was the final straw and we need to do something.

We're discussing getting a catflap put into DP's garage where we can set her up a bed and food etc.

I fully agree that we should rehome one - my gut says the younger one as I think she can have a very happy life somewhere as an only cat - older girl is too old and set in her ways and she and DP have been through thick and thin. However, I can't see him exploring this option for a long time (and I do understand).

She spends a lot of time in next doors garden, but they have 2 cats so don't think she'll bother them too much.

Our little boy cat keeps going outside to see her and just sits with her

Do watch Jackson galaxy, he’s very good with sort of thing and living in a garage or kennel isn’t ideal. We wouldn’t like it.

He usually suggests pinpointing flash point areas in the home, catifying eg wall shelves arranged to divert them, tall cat trees, more trays with no lids to stop one cat stopping the other from using them.

We have 4 trays in the house (old girl only goes outside) and a plethora of stuff to keep them occupied and hide in. It's like she sees red when she sees the younger girl and just goes bolo at her.

She will run off if we squirt her with water but we're both in the office half the week so we can't be there 24/7. All 3 are very good with their own space - they all have their own beds, their own favourite places to sit and they don't use another's. We play with them all every day, endless love and treats (they really are quite spoiled).

Old girl is so bonded with my DP but is very friendly to people when she's in a food mood - she loves to roll and show people her belly when they walk past. Younger girl likes to sit quietly with us on the sofa (she loves men and will cuddle up to any man in the house), but immediately panics when she sees the older girl.

It's been like this for so long now and it's so upsetting.

Further to this, some more incidents, and some great advice, DP has taken the sad decision that fat old angry girl needs her own space in a retirement home, and MIL is kindly taking her in on Sunday. DP upset but happy he can still go and see her whenever he wants.

Fat old girl chased middle girl out of the house again last night, where she promptly got into a fight with the neighbourhood bully and now has a swollen leg and a vet appointment. Something needed to change as we just can't go on like this any more.

I think that sounds like a sensible decision. It's never ever easy to rehome a pet, but somewhere he can still see her and he knows she will be cared for is perfect.

Hopefully she will settle there and your two younger cats can have a peaceful life too.

Good luck with it.

Thanks @Ratbagcatbag, I think so too. DP putting on a brave face (he's had her for 14 years and even had a custody battle for her!) but I so think it's the best option, including for old fat girl who will get some peace and quiet.

Middle girl and little boy are best of friends and I was really worried about splitting them up, so that's a silver lining.