Why do people keep telling me to get rid of the cat?

[mylittlesandwich]

I'm getting sick of it. DS is 7 months now and I can't even count how many times I've been asked when I'm getting rid of my cats.

When I announced my pregnancy I was asked by 2 separate colleagues when I was getting rid of my cats. I was then asked by more people when DS was born. I bumped into a friend yesterday who asked how DS was, I was saying he's great, rolling all over the place and practicing his sitting. Her response? You'll need to get rid of the cats before he starts crawling.

Why? Why will I. I have a Hoover, the cats were there first and DS thinks they're fascinating. Why is it perfectly acceptable to abandon family members because you've had a baby?

I have idea what goes on in some people's heads! Rescues do get a lot of cats in when people are pregnant or baby arrives.
Luckily nobody passed comment to me but the health visitor looked horrified when she saw our cat fast asleep on her beanbag and said that we needed to watch her and DD as if the cat was a rabid lion. The HV clearly hated cats and her attitude could cause people to get rid of their cats.She was the calmest cat ever. The midwives who met her were all quite taken with her.
In hindsight I wish I'd complained about the HV as she reacted the same to someone else's cat.
Cats aren't daft they move out the way of small humans if they need to. Kids learn how to behave around cats if they have one at home.
Good on you for keeping the cats!

That's bizarre. I used to childminder with 2 cats! Obviously I had to do risk assessments but parents and inspectors were all happy with it and I had babies from 4 months on

My cats learned to climb fast and avoid the weird squealing thing they loved her to pieces the cats I have now are massively attached to my eldest son it's been very good for his mental health in lockdown

I never understand this either

I had three cats until very sadly I lost of in them not long ago, but they have been around my children since they were newborns or toddlers and they all absolutely love each other. One cat in particular spends her entire day with them in the playroom or garden and she sits and waits for us in the window like a little dog when we go out.

I also agree with @slippery in that they have bee marvellous calming little companions during lockdown

We have always had cats. When we brought ds1 home our one cat was furious with me. She had been sitting on the fence waiting for me to come home for most of the time I was in hospital and when I did come home with this random, noisy bundle she was not impressed. They both soon learnt to keep their distance from the baby (and then all three boys) but as the boys got older they learnt to accept them. I would never have dreamed of getting rid of the cats.

One of ours didn't like the baby, she was stressed though. We got a couple of feliways and she's back to her old self. I just couldn't imagine getting rid of them. I need to think up a good response for when people ask I think.

Are you saying something to prompt this? I ask because a) it's a weird thing to come out with out of the blue and b) I've never heard anyone say anything like this and my mum's exactly the sort of person who'd come out with this sort of thing

I need to think up a good response for when people ask I think.

Just look at them with a confused expression and ask 'why would I?'

No I don't think it's anything I'm saying, I've been a vocal cat lady for some time so people know I have them. It's almost as weird as the distant colleague who asked me if DS was planned. Maybe I just know weird people?

Dog owners don’t get this though and their more able to harm a baby.

I think it's bizarre/very bad luck that you've got this from multiple people - we have two cats and no one - friend, HCP, family member - ever suggested we'd have to get rid of them when we had DS. Luckily, as I'd have been furious at the suggestion! I think you've just encountered more than your fair share of people who are weird about cats, sadly.

Eugh I had this. 3 months before I was pregnant with ds (now 2.5) we got my wonderful rescue girl known here by catface.

She was ridiculously feral and hid behind a chair for three months and hissed and Apar whenever either dh or I dared to walk past the chair.

The day before I found out about my pregnancy she sauntered into the living room and sat on my lap and settled down. We’ve been inseparable ever since pretty much.

Everyone told me I’d need to take her back once ds arrived. Because she’d claw him/suffocate him etc.

I didn’t. Because by the time he arrived she was family. Ds and now Dd (now 10months) love her. Dd is fascinated by her. Squeals whenever she enters the room crawls after her - catface has realised that Dd can’t do stairs yet so runs upstairs and hides!

But no way would I have gotten rid.

Ask people if they’d get rid of their pets?

Ask them why then smile / laugh out loud and give them the facts /educate them .
I had two cats when my DD was born - never had a problem , cats give wriggly noisy things a wide berth .

Probably sometime to do with the old wife’s tale of “the cats will sleep on your babies face and suffocate them”

The only person I have ever known to get rid of their cat because of having a baby only did so because their dc turned out to be severely allergic to cats and had really bad excema. They were distraught at having to let the cat go, as he was part of the family.

I was terrified that the dc would be allergic to catface. No idea what I would have done if they were.... have the dc adopted maybe

I would be heartbroken if DS was allergic to the cats. I'd try everything I could before I eventually gave them to my mum had to re-home them. We are more cautious around DS. They have their own bedroom that they go into overnight, they have their own sofa etc. I think they'll come round to him.

I know someone who got rid of their cat because she was pregnant. I never understood why but she said it as if getting rid of the cat was the most obvious thing to do.

I think some people confuse that you shouldn't handle dirty cat litter when pregnant to you can't have cats and be pregnant.

My 16 year old cat watched me give birth to my son from the kitchen table. I swear she understood that he was my kitten. She used to curl up next to him on my lap while he breastfed, and tolerated his clumsy stroking all 100% fine.

She died at 19 and we now have a bigger, younger cat who is good fun to play with and rolls over to let my now 5 year old kid rub his belly

Catface is curious with the dc. Especially when we brought ds home from hospital. She had a look in the Moses basket at him. The basket had a shelf under it and she used to curl up there and nap in the day. At night time she’d been on bed with me and would pay my face if he stirred.

When Dd was born she did the same. Except she slept by my side between me and the Moses basket and purred today get Dd to sleep.

She’s booped both kids a couple of times with her paw (no claws) when they’ve got a bit too much for her.

Her fave time of day is bedtime. She likes to go in and make sure they’re asleep before settling down on my lap or shoulder for a snuggle.

My dd IS allergic to my cat

She has asthma too, but it’s mild.

Her asthma can be triggered by the cat aswel.

We haven’t rehomed the cat. We simply made sure we kept the house clean, the cat is not allowed in her bedroom and that dd and the cat have minimal contact

It works

That's interesting @ememem84 I've been wondering when DS will be old and enough to have the cats roaming free again at night.

@mylittlesandwich to be fair we never really stopped her roaming free. We tried by shutting doors but she scratched and meowed so loudly we were more disturbed by her than the baby.

She was more concerned about being close to me than them.

I have never heard of this from anyone. How bizarre. I was brought up with cats and dogs, and my children have had one or two cats with them all their lives. When I was pregnant both cats used to sleep on my tummy and purr, I swear to god the baby loved it. When they were born, the cats used to sit with me when I was feeding, and when the babies were on their mats, the cats used to sit next to them, and the babies grabbed their fur. It was particularly cute when the babies came to sit up, as the cats sat next to then and acted as a prop. If they got a bit overused, they just used to walk off.

Funniest thing, both DD's first words were "meow" . Neither had any allergies, and I wasn't about litter, as they were outside cats. We have always shut our cats in the kitchen overnight, so that was never a problem either.

I would never had countenanced getting rid of my cats. (DH is mildly allergic, and he has had to live with them too !!).

@ememem84 that is so cute! He's 7 months now and can roll etc. I'm thinking in the unlikely event that they did get to close he's old enough that he'd wake up. To be honest I think I'd wake, I always seem to have one ear open now.