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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Any experiences of introducing a kitten to a grumpy, unfriendly cat?

30 replies

TravellingSpoon · 07/05/2020 15:53

Long story but we have a rescue cat who is approximately 4 and we have had her for 18 months. Ex-H got DD a kitten for Christmas. Arse that he is he has said that unless I take the kitten he is going to get rid of it as he has had enough of it. DD is devastated and has spent all day crying.

Our cat is very grumpy and doesn't take well to other cats in the garden (or people TBH, she is a real mardy bum). When we got her we were told she needed to be an only cat, so the odds are stacked against us, but I said that I would see if there is anything I could try before dismissing the idea.

So, any experience at all?

OP posts:

Delbelleber · 07/05/2020 16:48

I would try bringing the kitten in a cat box in to the room with the other cat. Observe. Then open the cat box after a few mins and hope for the best.

Fluffycloudland77 · 07/05/2020 17:36

You can do a slow introduction, YouTube or cat care international will show you how.

Elieza · 07/05/2020 17:52

Introduction over a period of time will apparently work better than letting them meet straight off. Like stroke cat with a facecloth to scent it and leave it at kittens house and vice versa. As pp suggested there’s bound to be stuff on you tube.

Your ex is a cruel and ignorant prick to buy a kitten for a kids Christmas present. Poor child. And poor kitten - as I suspect it won’t have been worked or flead as he appears to be an ignoramus when it comes to cats.

FelicityFlockheart · 07/05/2020 17:52

It's really unfair on your existing cat and will place a lot of stress on her. Cats are generally solitary and do not appreciate company foisted on them in this way

Proceed at your peril. I'd be looking at another solution

Davespecifico · 07/05/2020 17:56

Could you take the kitten from him with a view to either keeping it If things go well or finding it a loving home otherwise. better than ex just getting rid.
We introduced our grumpy cat to a kitten. It took a month of hissing at the kitten and the kitten living in its own room. They’re absolutely fine together now, though the grumpy cat doesn’t bother grooming her. She tolerates her presence.

seekingwaxwings · 07/05/2020 17:57

I'm afraid it would be very cruel to your existing cat. We have a rescue cat who came with the stipulation he must be an only cat, as living with another cat previously had stressed him so much he developed cystitis and needed an operation- I have to give him medicine daily for it.

Your existing cat may eventually accept the kitten, or he/she may decide to leave home to escape the interloper, as my childhood cat did.

Fluffycloudland77 · 07/05/2020 18:01

Normally I’d say don’t too but we don’t know what his idea of getting rid of a cat involved.

Could be a rescue, could be a full water butt.

Try zylkene on the resident cat to calm her down.

Papergirl1968 · 07/05/2020 18:05

We have a cat and ended up with dd’s kitten too last summer.
I really think our cat enjoyed his only cat status and wasn’t very impressed. Kitten hissed at him more than the other way round. He is pretty good natured but does chase her and go to bite her occasionally, but she scampers off and it’s hard to see if it’s just a rough game.
He is definitely the boss, and tolerates her rather than loves her but they don’t lick each other or lie together like some cats do.
Having said that he is quite protective of her.
We kept her in dd’s room at first, and brought her out for a few minutes at a time.

bengalcat · 07/05/2020 18:07

You can’t predict what would happen but if I was you I’d take the kitten for its own and your daughters benefit . Grown cats , even grumpy ones , tend to find kittens less of a threat . Grumpy cat might like said kitten . As others gave said if it really doesn’t work out then see ems kitten will have a better chance being rehomed from you rather than him

whoisjoe · 07/05/2020 18:08

I introduced new kitten to 10yo grumpy cat, did it very slowly and let him get her scent etc. They are fine now, but it's taken nearly 10 months for him to be OK about her

Original poster

TravellingSpoon · 07/05/2020 18:27

This is what worries me, our cat specifically came with the caveat that she should be an only cat as she was scared of other cats.

OP posts:

Original poster

TravellingSpoon · 07/05/2020 18:27

I have asked XH to give me until Monday to think about it and find a solution.

OP posts:

seekingwaxwings · 07/05/2020 18:44

Everybody wants kittens, I'm sure a local rescue would be able to find a lovely home for it. Please don't let your ex 'get rid of' it because this could mean it goes to someone through fb for dog baiting.

CazzaCat · 07/05/2020 19:41

@TravellingSpoon hey OP, you’re ex is mean! Welldone for making him your ex!

We introduced a male kitten to our female cat who had had a really bad experience with a neighbours cat, hissed at all cats outside and dogs and had a bad start in life.

We followed this advice to a T and now the kitten and cat live happily together!

Google blue cross introducing cats or go here: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-advice/introducing-cats%3famp

Whatever you do, don’t rush, you’ll need a temporary spare room for the kitten to have it’s own space, lots of patience and treats and lots of scent swapping. Good luck!!

We kept ours apart for two whole weeks then introduced them slowly for ten mins at a time, there were lots of hisses so we went back a step and separated them, then tried again the next day. The best thing to do is introduce them during feeding time, on separate sides of the room, treat them to fish or chicken as food is a positive experience! Gradually move their food bowls together each time you let them meet.

If youre patient you’ll be rewarded.

aWeaponCalledtheWord · 07/05/2020 20:11

i’ve introduced a kitten to an older, terminally grouchy cat. the key is to do it very, very slowly. kitten in it’s own room with food, toys and litter tray. do scent swapping with flannels.

your older cat might be nosing round the door of the room that the kitten is in. that’s all fine - don’t take this as a sign that you should go face-to-face. we started by literally cracking the door half an inch so the cats could see and smell each other in a controlled way. i think this stage lasted about a week.

when you do let them go face-to-face, be ready to scoop the kitten back to its safe room at the first hint of trouble. the cats should only be face-to-face for a short time to begin with.

i then went through all this again, introducing my two to my partner’s cat when we moved in together. and then again when we rescued a new teenage cat.

you really need to take this very slowly. feliway plug-ins helped all ours to settle. we had a very happy 4-cat household. we did have a large utility room with enough litter trays for everyone, and supervised mealtimes to make sure nobody was getting bullied for food.

it can be done!

Fluffycloudland77 · 07/05/2020 21:44

Anti social cats can have friends, mine had two but hated other cats.

Bargebill19 · 08/05/2020 00:04

We’ve done it several times. Start slow, try to mix their scent or allow them each other’s bedding and give them both their own space to retreat too. Never had a failure yet ... fingers crossed.

Notnownotneverever · 08/05/2020 00:12

My grumpy cat has never accepted the kitten. But they do tolerate each other to an extent. They ignore mainly and have taken to different parts of the house, one cat upstairs and one downstairs. They did this themselves.
You will have to watch them and be careful that the kitten doesn’t get hurt. Mine got an abscess from a bite on the bum from the older cat that I didn’t notice. Not happened since though.
Ultimately you have no choice but to try in this circumstance.
I would take the kitten to your room for safety at first. And really not leave them alone together. Also make sure your older cat has space somewhere without the kitten.

Maria53 · 08/05/2020 00:45

To be perfectly honest - we introduced a kitten to our old cat and I really regret it. Ruined the older cat's peace in the last years of her life. Did keep her fit though...

I wouldn't repeat the experience as I dont feel it is is fair to the old cat. That said, I find it a bit disturbing that your ex wants to 'get rid' of the kitten. What does that mean? Give it away? Or get rid Aristocats style?

Maria53 · 08/05/2020 00:48

I just read your update. I really dont think you should take the kitten. It will upset your daughter but you have an obligation to your cat. Can you personally take the kitten to a safe adoption centre or something?

working5to9 · 08/05/2020 08:01

A friend ended up having to do this. She'd expected to have two litter trays and two bowls etc but ended up having to have two cat flaps too as otherwise the original cat would just block "her" (ie the original) cat flap by sitting next to it & refusing to move meaning the new cat couldn't go out.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 08/05/2020 08:08

The older cat is only 4 though so she's not in her twilight years. Id give it a go but take it really slowly and make sure your dd knows if it doesn't work out you may still have to rehome the kitten.

IratusCats · 08/05/2020 08:43

We tried to introduce a kitten to at the time two 10 month old cats, it was a disaster. We did the slow intro/scent swapping/ plug in feliway and tried for 6 months to introduce. We ended up having to rehome the kitten (to my mum, who wanted him!) as the growling, hissing and my big cats starving themselves and turning on each other was awful. Once the kitten left they started eating again and stopped fighting each other.

Original poster

TravellingSpoon · 08/05/2020 11:27

Thanks everyone.

I have managed to rehome the kitten to my cousin and his wife. They live close ish to us and so DD can visit quite often if she wants to, one lockdown is gone. I explained it to her quite simply, that she wouldnt want me to have a baby and bring it home here because it would make her feel sad ( it would, she has told me on many occasions). She understood and doesnt want our current grumpy cat to feel sad in any way.

Thank you for all your advice and your stories. I just dont want upset our cat who is alrwady very jumpy and grumpy, and I am working so many hours at the moment it would be difficult to make it work.

OP posts:

Maria53 · 08/05/2020 11:44

That is great news. Looks like you came up with a great solution and your DD can still see the kitten with no disruption to your grumpy cat. Take care.

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