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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Please help - put to sleep?

13 replies

Bear99999 · 07/05/2020 13:56

Hello,

Please can someone offer some help or advice? I am feeling very confused and worried.

My lovely soppy black cat, Bear, is at the vets after this morning having strange episodes of being wobbly and acting very strangely. Last week he was diagnosed with FIV after having a temperature and losing some weight. He is on antibiotics and has some other medication to bring his temperature down and was acting back to his normal happy self last night. He is only 2 years old.

This morning he came to me early, put his paw on my arm and then went strange. He later seemed to return to normal and ate breakfast. He is at the vets again being assessed. We have been back and forth to the vets a few times now for him to be ok but then get worse again and he seems even more unwell today. I asked the vet her advice on his chances of getting better and she said she cannot say as there is no diagnosis, although she mentioned possible FIP. I have been very clear that I don’t want to give up on him but also don’t want to pursue something that will make him feel worse for it to be unnecessary. I feel so bad that he is there when he is feeling so unwell.

The vet said she can’t advise but then said would I want to put him to sleep today or Saturday! I feel he is ill but that my vet is not being very helpful in advising what is best

I don’t want to make the wrong decision. I live alone and my friends have lots of big things going on in their lives like cancer and kids and lockdown so a cat seems silly in comparison. Just wondered if someone can offer help or advice or a hand hold

Thank you x

OP posts:
LittleMissnotLittleMrs · 07/05/2020 14:04

I definitely can offer a handhold. I understand that gut wrenching choice. All I can offer is that you will know when it’s right. Do you think he’s in pain What if you take him home then if he has another episode, be prepared to say goodbye? My interpretation is that your vet has said euthanasia and soon is likely and soon. Bring him home for 24 hours, say bye bye and make your peace (and that’s got me crying) Massive hugs, I really feel for you 🌹🥀

LlamaofDrama · 07/05/2020 14:11

I've been there with cats and other animals. The best advice I was given by my vet is that it's often not a moment when it's the right time, but a window... neither too soon nor too late. But also better a week too soon than a day too late. Another vet said to me once that just because we can (treat) doesn't mean we should.

Sending hugs and a handhold. It's brutal making that decision, but know that you're coming from love for him.

Windyatthebeach · 07/05/2020 14:15

Sadly after very fast weight loss our vet was unable to offer anything but pts last week. Blood tests taking ages they said. No scope for recovery..
My poor boy..
We had to specifically plead for dh to be with him...
Sorry your poor boy is poorly..
Agree to a few days of spoiling and take him back..
Flowers

Bear99999 · 07/05/2020 14:20

Thank you for replying, that really means a lot x

I feel like I have betrayed him taking him to the vet so often this week but they didn’t know what was wrong and kept saying he is healthy and in good condition so let’s see.

I was thinking about bringing him home but two things worry me.

  1. If he became even more unwell and something had to be done in a rush overnight or he was in pain and I prolonged his suffering.
  1. That eventually I would have to take him back there all over again which he hates. He must think what he he done to deserve all this Sad

I want to say goodbye and I’m sorry and for him to know that (I know I must sound mental) but don’t want to make him potentially suffer for me to feel a bit better. Does that make sense?

Thank you again

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 07/05/2020 14:28

Dcats hide pain very well - if the vet is not too concerned i doubt he would fall dramatically during the night. We gave ours lots of great food! If you have to go back op take some Dreamies in your pocket -
I also said sorry to mine - he was only just 8 and has an adoring db here.. Guilt to him also for me.

Bear99999 · 07/05/2020 14:35

The vet just called and said if he was her cat she wouldn’t put him to sleep today, but see how he is on Saturday so I am going to do that. Thanks so much for your kind messages, this is such a difficult and upsetting time x

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 07/05/2020 15:27

Hope you both have a lovely few days op - just incase.
Flowers

Bear99999 · 07/05/2020 18:07

Thank you everyone and sorry for what has happened with you dear pussycats. @Windyatthebeach - I am so sorry about your poor boy - sending love x

OP posts:
Bear99999 · 07/05/2020 23:48

Bear was put to sleep tonight as he had more seizures - the emergency vets were really nice and I’m glad he came home for some tuna, cuddles and a little sit in the garden. Thank you everyone. Stay safe x

OP posts:
MiniMum97 · 08/05/2020 00:20

Oh I am so sorry. We lost our young cat to a very fast cancer not long ago and had a similar experience to you. All very fast and then he was gone. We were glad, like you, that we got to have some time at home with home before he went. It's such a shock, and so sad. My heart goes out to you. So sorry for your loss Flowers Flowers Flowers

penguingorl · 08/05/2020 05:26

Aww, I'm so sorry op. It sounds like you did all that you possibly could for Bear, and he will have felt your love. You having such an affinity with your boy is in no way silly, and it's completely normal to have the feelings you're experiencing about a dear cat. I sometimes wish I was one of those 'they're just an animal' people, but only fleetingly and when I've been heartbroken over a loss. Take care of yourself, and keep posting if it helps you to share/chat with other cat lovers.

Windyatthebeach · 08/05/2020 10:19

So sorry op. RIP Bear.
Flowers

OrcharD14 · 08/05/2020 12:54

How terrible to lose your cat so unexpectedly, particularly at such a young age. Our pets are much loved family members -it’s absolutely normal to grieve for them & mourn their loss. I’m sure your cat knew how much he was loved & your love for him shines through your post.
Sending virtual hugs - look after yourself. Xx

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