Lovely cat but very bitey! Any advice?

[SallyWD]

We got a cat 7 weeks ago. He's a neutered male aged around 2. He appeared in a local woman's garden as a stray when he was a few months old with his siblings. She took great care of him, feeding him and providing shelter but re-homed him as she had 4 cats of her own. So he is used to human contact from a young age. He was chosen for our family because of his gentle and affectionate nature. The charity that had been looking out for him and the woman who cared for him felt he'd make a great pet for children. After 7 weeks he's settled in very well. He seems comfortable in the house, the garden and with us. He seems to like us. He likes to be near us, follows us around, waits outside the bathroom when I have a shower etc, displays affection. In many ways he's a very easy cat. He's not demanding, he's quiet, he doesn't miaow much. The only problem is that he bites us when we stroke him. This ONLY ever happens when he is happy, excited and has approached us for affection, rubbing his head on us, trying to headbutt my hand so I stroke him. He seems to greatly enjoy the first 1 or 2 strokes then suddenly attacks us for no reason! It's not a case of us giving him unwanted attention - it's him who demands attentions then he suddenly turns. He often jumps on to the sofa or bed, rubbing against us, we stroke him and then get bitten or scratched. It's quite disappointing to have this beautiful, friendly cat that we can't stroke - and it hurts! My previous cats haven't been liked this. Does anyone have any experience of this behaviour or know how we can discourage it?

He could just be a cat who can only take 2 strokes before getting completely over stimulated & lashing out.

Is there a very subtle tell? A flick at the end of the tail, pupils dilating, muscles tensing sort of thing that you’d miss if you blink?. Cats do play bite each other but when your both furry it’s not so much of a problem.

7 weeks is a short time in cat time, he’s still assessing you especially if he wasn’t handled in the first 8 weeks of life. If he’s missed the socialisation window then he’s actually doing marvellously.

My cat is a biter! Little nips and chomps when being cuddled - we got her as a tiny rescue when she was abandoned and she's always been a dribbly bitey cat! I think as long as it's not biting in an annoyed, upset angry or scared way it's ok?

@Fluffycloudland77 Yes there are some signs before he lashes out, usually a flick of the tail or a sudden movement of his head. We need to be more in tune with these signs I suppose. Yes he is very doing well for a cat that was semi-stray. Thanks for your reply.

@babynamesarehard yes I'm sure some cats are more bitey than others. He doesn't really do it in an angry way to hurt us. More of a warning I think. He's saying "Stop that now". Or sometimes in a playful way. But he seems happy and he likes us so that's the main thing.

I knew a cat who gave 'love bites'. He always looks affronted when you told him off. Try saying 'ow' and then just leaving him be when he bites. Also keep to a two stroke rule.

One of mine very much bites. It’s like she gets over stimulated and can’t help herself. Not all cats are cuddly beasts I’m afraid.
Also some strokes are worse than others. Some cats will tolerate a chin scratch or head bump but run your hand right down their back or touch their tail and you’re fair game!!

My little monster bites. It’s my fault, she nibbled my hands when she was a kitten and I let her😂. She was also separated from her mum too young so didn’t learn how to play nice.

She know to keep her claws in when she plays and bunny kicks, but she doesn’t seem to realise how sharp her teeth are.

All I can do is remove my hand every time she bites. But it hasn’t stopped Ee.

One of mine is like this. Seems to be enjoying a stroke and then suddenly turns and bites really hard. The weird thing is he then looks really shocked at himself and will sometimes give me a quick lick as if to say sorry. He really does hurt so it's a good job I love him!

Our rescue cat does this. Comes up to you, nudges, lies on her back with feet in the air. Half of the time wants a belly stroke, half of the time gets instantly nippy and her claws out. I say NOT and move away sharpish.

I have a biter. It took us a few months to recognise the signs, having her sides stroked, and touching of her belly, legs or feet.

She's affectionate on her terms, we always warn anyone who visits not to stroke her.

I think you need to learn how to read the mood.

Our current foster is a biter. He will run alongside you grabbing your legs and trying to bite them. He doesn’t bite hard but every interaction ends in a bite. Once he starts biting it’s hard to stop him, he will keep coming back. I’m worried it’s going to make him hard to home when we do eventually start rehoming again.

He's telling you that he is prepared to give and receive affection, but that it is on his terms. You've only had him a few weeks, and you haven't quite got the hang of the cues yet. You can only go so far, before enough is enough.

We've had our rescue for 5 years, it took two years for her to stop going for us, and I still wouldn't be complacent now.

My rescue is like this. In the end I gave him my hand to bite. Sounds crazy and wouldn’t advise it, but he bit me, then looked shocked and kissed me. He doesn’t do it so much now. If he does get bitey I let him bite me again and it resets.

Thanks everyone. It's interesting to hear about your own bitey cats. I'm starting to recognise the cues more. Sometimes he is happy to be stroked (usually when he's sleepy) but if he's being very affectionate, lively, happy he's likely to bite!

Is it actual bites, or just touching with teeth? I ask because we have a sibling pair, and my experience is that they think they're grooming us (I've watched them together, and they do use their teeth to groom each other in their mega grooming sessions).

They've got much, much better with us now - just from taking our hand away and stopping the moment they do it - they come up and flop over for belly strokes now even (previously that was an invite for play fighting - which I had to train DP not to indulge!)

I know exactly what you mean about the little grooming bites but these are definitely "Stop stroking me now" bites. He does the other grooming bites too. That's quite sweet!

Sometimes he is happy to be stroked (usually when he's sleepy) but if he's being very affectionate, lively, happy he's likely to bite!

This sums up my rescue perfectly. She's 7 and is a really lovely cat. She doesn't like being handled as such (picked up or cuddled) but she does throw herself against your leg to sleep, happily shows her belly and invites strokes especially on her chest.

I'm not sure how to change her bahviour at 7 (and she's deaf so a sharp "no" has no impact) and it's not an aggressive or painful bite - it feels very much in that same "that's enough now" vein that others have described. And as above, if she's sleepy she loves to be stroked. If she's up and playing, I've got maximum two strokes before she'll go for my hand or foot.

My current foster is like that. Seven weeks is a very short time for a cat, and whilst it might be impossible to stop the behaviour completely, it should be possible to improve it a lot. With my foster I noticed the signs were very, very subtle. Took me a while to read them. She would bite and swipe “suddenly”, now I know her better I can see the signs. Now what I do is have a very good play with her - active play with a fishing rod, or fetch, tire her out a bit. I’ve been advised by the charity behaviourists that laser dot play is not good for her because she might get frustrated at not catching the dot. After a good play, then I’ll stroke her until she shows signs of displeasure. So at the moment this is two strokes with your cat, little by little you will see this improve to three strokes, four strokes and so on. If you managed to read the signs and stop before a bite, then give him some treats. If his limit is two strokes, you could do just one stroke and a treat. Then stop for a few hours. You could also do one stroke, pause for a minute, another stroke. If there is a bite during the interaction, stop interaction immediately and no treat.

My foster girl sounds similar to yours as she was also a stray and is also two years old now. She is very clever and reacts well to stimulation, she loves her puzzle feeder and toys. Generally you would do well in providing as much enrichment as you can for these cats; interactive toys, Kickeroo, puzzle feeder, leave TV on bird channel and things like that. There are also some valerian pillows you can buy on zooplus etc which have a calming effect.