Things I can’t say to my cat....

[Ihavenoidewhatsgoingon]

I cannot say “what’s the matter” to my cat - it’s alway “whata matta” generally repeated a few times....

Anyone else do this or am I going mad 😹

Might also be avoiding the news so speaking to the cat - he’s always chatty....

If it makes you feel any better I say "who's a good boy!" in that voice people use to talk to dogs, to my child's TOY dog, because we don't have a real one 😐

"Are you hungry sweet little puddytat tiddums, I'll get you your favourite nibbles right away My Lovely"

comes out more like

"ShuddupaYouFace you lousy fat parasite -- and look how much food is still in the bowl from last time you nagged at me, you rotten idiot!"

I can't think what's wrong with me.

😂

Ours rounds us up and herds us into the kitchen at every opportunity to be fed - both very vocal about it! I think in cat speak “you have just been fed” is “of course I will give you more” even though they only lick the wet food

I hope you have named the toy dog 🐶 😂

...he's called woofy and he's a golden Labrador

I used to say nigh nighs for bed time and he’d clamp his eyes shut in the hope I wouldn’t move a sleeping cat.

Awwww. Woofy - cute name

Yes - if we have a sleeping cat you are allowed to stay there and make the humans in the house run around after you 😺

I've just been sat with my lovely ginger cat on my lap looking at her baby pictures with her on my phone.. with commentary 'yes weren't you tiny and small and look at the mess you made of the Christmas tree you gorgeous little kitten' etc

It's "Wossmatta sweetie?" here

... followed by trying to find out what it is she actually wants (if indeed she knows herself): "Milky? ... Grub? ... Packet?

@hettysdrawers does he recognise himself in the pictures? I’ve never really got a grasp of how good cars eyesight is for stuff like screens etc . Sorry if a daft Q!

@overnightangel of course! Actually no, she doesn't even look at the screen half the time, but I like to pretend she is

I know cats don’t see things the way we do overnightangel. That’s why they can see better in the dark but are not so good at different colours

www.businessinsider.com/pictures-of-how-cats-see-the-world-2013-10?r=US&IR=T

Of course, when I refer to ‘cats’, that’s just an abstract general reference. I am sure that all the cats on the Litter Tray like nothing better than checking that their lifestyle assistants’ (nothing so vulgar as owner) phones have the requisite number of photos of them.

I sing Who's my love, you're my love, you're my lovely boy and it makes him purr with pleasure!

“Lifestyle assistant” 😅

Who's such a bootiful little puss cat, who's my little darling gorgeous puss cat. As infinitum

to admit , whenever one of my cats darts by , I usually say "Oh Hello You " because they are identical jet black siblings

I can tell by the subtle differences in face shape , the eye colour and the way they exit ( she slopes out - leg/other leg/tail . He bunny hops both legs+tail )

Of course looking at faces , eyes and exit techniques is no help when they come in and I think they Have Something In Their Mouth ( worm usually)

At the moment I am congratulating them on losing their Winter Flab/Fur . "Oh , my good children are all Slinky Malinky again after That Vet said you were "heavy" aka "tubby" . What does he know , he has a Degree in Vetinary Medicine but you two have lifelong experience of being Cats"

That’s straight out of cat affection moves according to my favourite cat blog hettysdrawers

www.wayofcats.com/blog/telling-the-origin-story/130

Works too, along with adapting well known songs so they contain their names :)

Seeking redemption via this thread tonight as lost patience with one of my boys today and requested in a rather firm tone of voice ‘to go & poo outside FGS it’s not like its cold or raining’ after waking me up yet again w his litter scratching stinky antics at stupid o’clock!

They have 3 litter trays all over the house btw but only the one in my bedroom is suitable for a smelly crap at ungodly hours it seems.....typical blokes :)