She has HCM and had gone into heart failure again. Was vommiting at the weekend and the vet picked up a new symptom of a heart murmur which she said is a disease progression. She was so lovely and gentle with Lulu but I felt the message was that this is not going to suddenly go into reverse.
This morning Lulu was panting, lethargic, didn't want to move, eat or drink. Just like she was when she needed emergency treatment in November when they did the scans and xrays which revealed HCM.
There is no coming back from this, the vet confirmed that whatever I do now to try and improve things, whether that's more meds, referral to the cardiologist (which may make no difference anyway), this is how Lulu's life will end.
I asked the vet to give her meds to clear the fluid and do another ultransound and xray but she said that unless Lulu can sit still and upright wihtout help (which she couldnt when I left her there) the xray is likely to be poor quality and they can't anaethetise. But they can do the ultrasound and give her oxygen if she does't respond to the diuretic.
I've had to sign a document allowing them to euthanase if she deteriorates and they can't get me there in time. I have to make a decision to continue treating or to PTS.
And I feel so very, very guilty. I don't want her to go. I asked her not to last night.