Desperate for a solution - cat acting out - partner threatening to get rid of her!

[lonelyonee]

I'm looking for some advice on how to improve things so that my partner doesn't get rid of one of my cats.
We have 4 beautiful kitties whom I adore immensely. The plan was never to have 4. We happily had 3 & they got along great.
Partner found the 4th in the middle of a road a few months back, we took her to the vets... no one claimed her and we just couldn't leave her there. She's such a sweet girl, but is extremely playful and vocal, and wants to play with the others a lot (which they don't always want to do).
Now 2 of my cats are fairly happy with this and get on with her very well, they play, cuddle and groom each other.
All except for my girl. At first they were all warming to new kitty the same, then it became clear my girl didn't want to know. Newest kitty cannot take a hint and approaches my girl often to play etc... my girl doesn't like this at all, she hisses, growls & runs away. Newest kitty doesn't seem deterred by this though and continues to try to interact. It's gotten to the point where my girl is visibly upset sometimes and has actually started to lash out at me and my partner.
Partner now says he's had enough and she's going. He will not listen that it's not her fault as she feels threatened & we need to figure out how to help them both cohabit peacefully. (He says she's being evil and it's hard to defend her when she's ripped his hands open on several occasions).
It's breaking my heart seeing her like this and I can't bear the thought of her not being with us. I'm completely aware this is our fault as cat parents and we need to do something but I'm unsure as to where to start. (I feel extremely guilty, and hormones don't help as I'm very pregnant right now!).
I have researched cats not getting along and the only advice I've found is re introduction but how are we supposed to implement it without ostracising one of them?
Any experience, advice or words of support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

@Fluffycloudland77 they have loads of toys and we play with them quite a lot. Problem is new kitty seems to have bounds of energy after everyone else is done. I don't know where she gets it from! She will happily play on her own sometimes but likes to know where the others are if she can't see them. She's very affectionate and grooms my youngest quite a lot. I think maybe she is craving being able to do this to my girl hence why she keeps trying to interact. I could be wrong though, that's just the impression I get.
Hopefully the plug in will allow us to create a positive relationship between the two & alleviate her fear of new kitty. Fingers crossed.

Have you taken a look at Jackson Galaxy? He does the my cat from hell TV programme.

@forestdweller11 haven't a scooby who that is. Will YouTube now... thanks

I’d rehome the partner. Miserable bastard.

I have 2 cats and looking at your last update reminds me of my two.

One (cat A) insists upon cleaning the other (Cat B) we tried to stop it when we realised cat b was not liking it, but the best thing we have found is when Cat B gives Cat A a swipe, it doesn't normally go much further than that, although it has done on 2 occasions. Most of the time they either ignore each other or curl up with DS together.

Also, I have a shit ton of cuts from trying to give Cat A flea treatment, he hates them all and its a fucking mission, the only thing DS said to me when he saw me was, on you gave .... a new treatment, it just becomes part and parcel with being owned by an arsehole (I tolerate it from the cats wouldn't from a human)

Also although she has lashed out at me a few times she has not gone to the extent of drawing blood like she has with him, I think he's upset about her change in behaviour towards him too (and as we know many men cannot process rejection well).
I think it's a bit of a stretch to claim he's abusive though... he's the reason we have them in the first place & he plays more with them than I can at the minute

Just because he is the reason the cats are there in the first place doesn't mean he isn't abusive. Lots of men are abusive to women they married, having wooed and then proposed to the woman, and lots are abusive to their children too, despite having been fine about the idea of having babies or even being the one who persuaded their partner to have babies.

If you think it's the rejection factor that is making him angry, then I wouldn't be too optimistic about how he will fare as a father or partner to you as a mother. The number one rule of parenting babies and little children is not to take anything personally. If he can't handle what the cat did to him and is imputing malice and bad intentions to an animal, how is he going to handle being puked on , peed on, bitten, hit, kicked, spoken rudely to, having food flung at him, tantrums, night wakings, and all the other joys of parenting?

Be careful, and be watchful. Don't dismiss any anger you see in him as an aberration when the baby comes along.

He seems to think that because she's hurt him she will be a risk to the baby

This would be a massive red flag for me.

If Dp suggested that we get rid of any of our 5 cats he would be the one leaving.

As pp have pointed out saying he wants to get rid of your cat (and not the cat that he found) is the start of abusive behaviour

The manipulation has begun