What does your cat do all day?

[FMFL]

First-time cat slave here! I have a 10 month old Velcro kitty who really doesn’t do anything all day other than follow me about! She has a cat flap she refuses to use, dislikes going outside, isn’t interested in her cat tree thing, plays only when she feels like it (so rarely) and basically just
mooches around, eats like a horse and then falls asleep somewhere inconvenient! Am I doing this right?!

Sleep ... eat ... poo ... scratches carpet ... repeat ...

Sounds about right
I’ve got 3, older than yours.
Basically they eat, mill about a bit, occasionally have an attack of zoomies, then sleep all day.
In summer they’ll be awake more, outside, & also snooze in the sun when there is some.

Plots world domination.

I have 3.
They seem to sleep all day but somehow manage to trash my house, annoy the fuck out of me, say sorry and snuggle up to me, usually when I'm busy, go out, come in, go out, come in, ask to go out, refuse to go out, go out, walk in mud and then on my couch, cry for food, don't eat the food, be a bit more annoying. Sleep.
Yes, that's a long block of text, that's how it feels, and that's just half of it.
I love the wee fluffy gits.

Sleeps
Sleeps on me
Sits on me
Whines about the weather/food selection/funny looking tree/dog he spotted 100m away
Plays with terrorises his best mate
Randomly sprints around the house
Steals hair bobbles/foundation lids
Sits on the windowsill to hold a running commentary of what's going on outside
Eats. And eats. And eats
Demands more food
Demands cuddles
Demands in/out/in/out

Mine generally seem to sleep for 90% of daylight hours

For the other 10% of the time, they are planning how to kill me while I sleep.....

Ah the zoomies, generally in the middle of the night, involves my bed with me in it.
Oh, and one of them has a hobby of pissing on my bathmat, so that's always fun to find in the morning.

Typical day: Sleeps on bed (my side, where my legs should be); Eats; Sleeps in chair (where I want to sit); Eats; Demands a fuss;
Sleeps on daughter’s bed; Eats
Dangles bum over side of litter tray and poos on floor; Sleeps; Refuses to go out; Eats; Sleeps on bed (my side, where my legs should be) etc etc etc

Pretty much fuck all.

Except at around 8pm where he appears from wherever he was in the house to sit on my side of the sofa.

All day long, doesn't so much as glance in the direction of the sofa. As soon as there is even the gentlest suggestion that my arse might touch it, suddenly it's such a desirable location, I'm half expecting Kirstie and Phil to turn up.

Haha! Ok I am reassured

When I'm at home Bafflecat tends to sleep most of the time. When not sleeping, she will ask to go out. Two minutes later she will ask to come in again. And repeat. And repeat ad nauseam. Unless it is raining in which case she will demand that the door is opened and then get cross with me because it is my fault it is raining. (We don't have a cat flap as she has a disability and can't go outside unless we can keep an eye on her - she wouldn't be able to defend herself against an intruding feline). After the in/out/in/out game she will sleep again. For hours. Or beg for Dreamies.

Eats. Sleeps. Shits somewhat near the litter box. Pukes up. Sleeps. Drinks from the new cat fountain when certain there are no humans around. Prepares for being around humans to claim starvation, dehydration and urgent need of continual adoration. Sleeps.

Mine wakes up, meows at the door, goes out, comes in, meows at the door, goes out, comes in, eats, meows at the door, comes in, disappears upstairs for a few hours to nap, eats, meows at the door, comes in, I give her her thyroid meds, she stalks my DH around the kitchen whilst he makes his evening meal, has a nap and then I give her her final wet food sachet and she goes to bed. All to repeat again the following day! 🙄😆😂

My two lazy Persians;
Sleep
Eat
Poo (a lot)
Demands to be picked up and cuddled.
Rinse and repeat!

Rinse, Toddler??!

I swear my DCat is so busy training us to be better humans that she needs a personal assistant

Her current objectives:

Discourage me from playing my computer game
Discourage DH from playing his strategy game
Discourage all use of any phones, mobiles, laptops etc
Inspect all human food
Discourage humans from sleeping (this is her playtime)

Her strategies:

Zoomies at 3 am usually (to encourage us to play)
Demand to be let out/refuse to go out, multiplied by 25
Demand to be picked up
Demand to be brushed
Demand human company when she's eating

In between times, when she has a spare minute, she'll:

Sleep all afternoon and in the very early hours, when humans can't take advantage of the calm
Chitter at the pigeons
Hiss at the rain
Engage in over dramatic ducking and crouching when there's a slight breeze
Sulk if the weather is too hot
Glare at any visitors

Another bathmat pisser here, if we accidentally leave it on the floor instead of hanging it up

Generally a pattern of eat, shit, mooch about for an hour or so, sleep for several hours, zoom about a bit, go in and out of the house for a bit, pester for food, cycle begins again.

Sev - at the moment it's wet and cold - wakes me up at dawn for food, cuddles, a walk around the terasse and a drink.
Then goes to sleep on a chair in front of the radiator.
Then he wakes up, poos and eats again and goes to sleep in front of another radiator.
He then wakes up, inspects the flat (fixed route), has a drink at the tap, the inside bowl and both outside bowls, watches the outside a bit from the table and / or a bench in front of yet another radiator. Then goes to sleep again in a box on top of a set of shelves, then moves to his spot on top of the wardrobe to sleep.
Then it is 4pm and he's exhaustedly looking for food, inspects his flat and the terasse again, goes to find his favourite human for cuddles and some room distruction and goes to sleep on her couch, in the paper bin and on her bed.
Then he moves to sleep in the box on the shelf again until it is time to wake me up for food and cuddles.

Mine are:

Boycat dozes on bed having cuddles while Girlcat catches an extra 15 mins kip.
Eat
Zoomies
Sleep
Eat
Demand cuddles
sleep
Eat
Zoomies
etc etc.
Bedtime pester hooman slave for Dreamies, wait until light has been out for exactly 10 mins then zoomies.

I know because we have the Sure cat flap app that yesterday cat 1 was out from 3.30am-5.30am, then I know he woke DH up mithering for food - despite having walked past two reasonably full food bowls to get to DH - then he went in and out a few times until 11am, when he settled down for a 3 hour nap in the kitchen window. Close to the food bowl, able to watch the squirrels. He did come into the living room to scratch the sofa and try to eat my lunch. Then out for an hour until we came home from school - because he knows he can pester the Dc to feed him because they will fall for the "I haven't been fed for days" routine. Then he went from bed to bed until midnight when he went out.

At the moment it's all about sleeping inside out of the wind, chasing squirrels and complaining about the diet the vet's put him on. If I go any kitchen cupboard he's THERE.

Mine goes out all night then whines at the window when I come down in the morning to come in. He'll have his breakfast than heads straight upstairs and sleeps on my fluffy rug. He gets around 3pm comes down for more food then heads outside for a bit then comes home about 9pm for more food then heads out for the night. He's my 4th moody,hungry, lazy teenager

Mine is more like a toddler - clingy, whiny, wants "that food, not that one"

6am: Girlcat wakes me up for cuddles, then it's feeding time. If it's a weekend and I'm not awake yet, they will cause maximum disruption until I get up and feed them (Boycat's favourite trick is to unravel the loo roll in the en-suite).

6-7am: Watch birds in the garden. Boycat sits in my lap while I have breakfast. He complains if I'm not available to do this.

7-9am: Morning snooze.

9am-3pm: In and out of the garden all day, coming in occasionally to snack or to deposit some poor creature they have caught (usually a butterfly or half dead skink).

3-5pm: Afternoon snooze.

5-8.30pm: Dinner then back out into the garden again.

8.30pm: Curfew - they are locked in for the evening. Girlcat will protest and make multiple attempts to open the (locked) catflap. Won't settle for bed until she gets cuddles.

9pm-6am: Boycat sleeps in a ball by my head. Girlcat sleeps in a ball by my feet. Girlcat usually wakes at some point in the night and wants to be cuddled back to sleep again.

And repeat...

On days when I'm working from home so it's just him and me:

Sleep on the sheepskin rug. Think about food. Sit in front of the window barking at birds. Pine for his favourite person in the whole wide world (my 5yo). Sneak into 5yo's bed, wrap himself in her duvet and sleep there. Ask for Dreamies. Ask to be petted. Attempt to steal weetabix, pringles and anything child does not finish.

On days when small child is at home:

As above, minus the pining, plus: Headbutt child to insist that she pets him. Sit beside child. Gaze at child adoringly. Allow self to be played with, including wearing a hat, being the patient in games of doctors, and being the client in games of hairdressers including having fur "blowdried" with toy blowdryer. Show up in child's bedroom at 7pm on the dot ready to listen to bedtime story.

I wish I knew!!

Girlcat tends to spend the night with us, leaving at about 5am. Yesterday she reappeared just I was leaving for work, in time for breakfast. She then headed off for a light snooze but was out when OH got home at 3ish. Today she hasn't been in at all (from the state of the dry food bowl) but has just reappeared, bone dry despite the fact it's been pissing with rain. If she didn't dislike other people so much I'd assume she had a second home.

Boycat is a much simpler soul - he's nearly always in at breakfast, in for supper and then for a hard evening's work asleep on my lap, before settling down for a good night's kip to recover from the stress of the day.

This is their winter/bad weather routine though - last summer they were very much treating the place as a hotel and just popping in for meals (and to deliver whatever they'd caught that day).