Feel so sad and guilty

[MissingEsme]

First time post. Just need to get this out. 6 weeks ago I had to have my 6 year old little cat put to sleep. 3 weeks before that I found a lump on her neck that seemed to grow bigger overnight. Vet removed lump and I stupidly thought that it was all sorted. I was devastated to hear my little Esme had an aggressive cancer that had probably already spread. I was heartbroken. She was to me in perfect health eating purring sleeping. I couldn't watch her deteriorate so I made the agonising decision to put my little girl to sleep. My best friend brought her to the vet and then buried her in my garden. I'm disgusted with myself that I couldn't even do that for her. I'm wracked with guilt that I made the wrong decision. She was fine, I could have had longer with her but selfish me didn't want to see her go downhill. I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face. How I would love my little Esme back. Thanks for reading x

I would have done exactly the same. It's even worse when they are so young. My girl was 8 and I feel cheated of the years we should have had left. Even though I knew it was the only thing to do, I did doubt my self about having made the decision so quickly. Be kind to yourself. It will get better, but not yet. You will be able to look back and remember her with a smile.

Ps. Turn Timehop and Facebook memories off, if you don't got them. It's really hard to have them pop up at first.

I at least had some warning with Fatty, I knew her life was going to be shorter because her heart disease was awful. So I wasn't prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was it actually being her Kidneys that failed.

You did what was best. I clung on to my cat for too long and the vet finally said, enough was enough. Please be kind to yourself, love.

I had my 14 year old cat put to sleep in October. I first noticed the lump last November, and she was under constant Vet care for the next year. I got the vet to promise to tell me if it was “time”, however she told me that herself. My own criteria was once she stopped going out, and stopped eating it would be time. She was very fortunate that she only had 3 bad days.

The vet treated her conservatively. She was not the sort of cat that would have coped with surgery. I stayed with her whilst it was done. It was important to me that her last consciousness would be my voice.

I still miss her, and still feel bad that I made the decision to kill her, but I know it saved her any further suffering.

The new cat is very different, but that it probably for the best. I can’t compare them because they are so different.