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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Sad about my old cat, don't know what to do for best

16 replies

everythingisginandroses · 21/12/2019 23:10

Our cat is 18. He suffers from hyperthyroidism which he is on medication for, and probable underlying kidney trouble, and has lost half his body weight. He can no longer jump and his balance has been affected for some time now, so he will stumble and fall over regularly - vet is unsure of cause and we've opted not to have any invasive tests. He has daily urine accidents in the house and sometimes poo, but not so much. He has stopped grooming so I do it for him. Due to incontinence in his sleep, his fur gets soaked in urine and discoloured. A month ago he had diarrhoea in his bed and just lay in it until we sorted him out

He still eats enthusiastically. He is not in any pain, so far as I can tell. DH thinks we should have him PTS. I have said no, then yes, now I just don't know. We are seeing the vet and will abide by their judgment, but I just feel so guilty as I love him and I also know our lives would be easier without him.

Sorry for long post. I keep crying about this, and I feel like an idiot. Anyone else been through similar? Thanks.

OP posts:

BillHadersNewWife · 21/12/2019 23:12

Can you wait till' after Christmas to decide? Try to put it aside and have one last special Christmas with him? If he's not in pain and still enjoys being stroked....I'd wait.

Beamur · 21/12/2019 23:16

My heart goes out to you.
I'd take your vets advice on the quality of your kitty's life. It doesn't sound great tbh.
Cats are clean animals so the lack of grooming suggests all is not well. They can also mask discomfort well.
18 is a great age and he has obviously been a much loved friend to you.
Letting a pet go at the right time is so hard but it is the last kindness we can do for them.

RUSU92 · 21/12/2019 23:20

I’ve always heard that cats hide pain well. Even when they’re purring it doesn’t always mean all is well.

I think if it were me, the fact that he’s having accidents and he can’t even be bothered to clean himself would say that he’s really not in a good place and I’d feel that PTS would be the kindest thing. I know it’s hard, I’ve had to make that call and it’s heartbreaking, but when you know it isn’t going to get any better, just worse, it’s really the best thing all round. No guilt needed here.

cloudjumper · 21/12/2019 23:22

I had my cat pts a few months ago. She was 18, too, and your situation sounds very much like she was at the end. No more jumping up in things, could only just manage the sofa, toilet accidents, didnt walk up the stairs anymore. Plus, she went blind and probably has arthritis. She started bumping into things. I couldn't watch her being in discomfort anymore, her quality of life kept deteriorating. We could have kept her on high-dose painkillers, but it would have only delayed the inevitable. She didn't deserve that.
You know your cat best. I would speak with your vet, what do they say? You say he's not in pain, but what's his quality of life?
It's such a hard thing to decide, hugs

EveryKingdomOfRain · 21/12/2019 23:24

I'm afraid I think dignity and quality of life matter and it sounds as if he has neither.

I've been through this several times and it's never an easy decision to make but sometimes the kindest decision is to put him to sleep.

I'm still mourning my beautiful 14 year old from months ago.

A month ago he had diarrhoea in his bed and just lay in it until we sorted him out

I think that would have been very distressing for him.

You have all my sympathy.

Lefkosia · 21/12/2019 23:27

It doesnt sound like he has much quality of life left - I would take advice from your vet but it sounds like the kindest thing to do would be to have him PTS sooner rather than later. I'm so sorry you're having to face this OP

Clymene · 21/12/2019 23:28

I took my incontinent elderly cat to the vet who told me she was much iller (with dementia) than I had realised. I couldn't face having her put to sleep that day but took her back two days' later. It was terribly hard but it was absolutely her right thing to do.

Better too early rather than too late.

I'm so sorry, it's horrible thing to go through

Postmissposte · 21/12/2019 23:32

The worst time for both of you is now. Find the strength to have your cat PTS; he will be at peace and you will begin to mend.

madcatladyforever · 21/12/2019 23:36

Quite honestly it sounds as if he is at the end of the road. I think it would be so much kinder to let him go.
I've had lots of cats over the years and at this stage of hyperthyroidism he could suddenly go blind or have a stoke.
Why not let him go before that happens.
I'm so sorry, you must love your sweet boy very much

DramaAlpaca · 21/12/2019 23:38

I'm so sorry, but I think it's time. It sounds like there isn't much dignity there and the poor old lad is suffering. In your shoes I'd let him go, and have done so in a similar situation. I know how hard it is

Polkadotties · 21/12/2019 23:39

Cats are very clean animals, he won’t like being dirty. My 18 year old cat was recently PTS after getting a massive tooth abscess. She must have been in so much but was still purring and eating.

Maryann1975 · 21/12/2019 23:44

Letting a pet go at the right time is so hard but it is the last kindness we can do for them
Exactly this. We had our lovely cat pts at this time of year a few years ago and it was horrendously hard, but the last kind thing we could do for her. I’d take her to the vets and follow their advice.

Felicitycity · 21/12/2019 23:48

My advice is to try not to think of it as sad. He has had a very long and happy life with an owner who is obviously very fond of him. The time has come to release him. It's a positive thing to do.

Original poster

everythingisginandroses · 22/12/2019 00:26

Thank you so much for your kind messages, everyone. I know you are all right and I need to be strong about this. DH has pointed out that we will feel much worse about it if we keep putting off a decision until he becomes disabled or in real distress of some kind. We keep wishing for him to pass away peacefully in his sleep, but I am told that this is unrealistic: old cats do not go gently into that good night.

I guess I just needed to hear it from some cat people who have been through it themselves.

OP posts:

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 22/12/2019 07:40

Hi OP,
My old boy was exactly like this aged 20 We (DW and I) finally agreed to have him pts after a week in which he had ended up sleeping in his own crap 3 times - and he hated being bathed. He still ate well, still came up for a cuddle and a purr and still went out every day - but he was skin and bones, he smelled appalling, and it is was clear that, as others have said, he had no dignity left. I actually think we left him a couple of weeks too long and we did debate it earlier but DW also really hoped he would die naturally.

I'm very sorry you are going through this - but I think it's time to let him go.

BovaryX · 22/12/2019 08:03

everything
That sounds really distressing. My cat is fastidious and would find what you describe very upsetting. I think the kindest thing is to do what you know it’s time to do, but I can imagine how awful it is to make the decision. As others have said, it is better to be ‘early’ than wait for things to become much worse. Could you get the vet to visit the house so he goes in a place he loves? Rather than a grim final journey?

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