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Original poster

Digging up buried cat three days later

28 replies

Ozzie9523 · 11/12/2019 14:26

Sorry to keep posting but this is the only place I can find to talk about this. I am struggling so much after our beloved cat was killed on the road Saturday night 💔 My husband buried him wrapped up in bin bags Sunday night and ever since I keep picturing him and wishing we’d given him a proper burial. I was in shock and not thinking straight. I’ve made him a box and filled it with his old bed, a top of mine, one of his toys and a card from me to rebury him in. Hubby just tried to dig a much bigger hole for it and was struggling, he has now got angry saying I’m ‘going over the top’ and should leave him be. I also want to get a fur clipping. I’m thinking his body will be pretty much the same as it’s only been a few days but guess I could be mistaken, I probably won’t look at him, I just want to get a clipping and bury him properly. Is this a bad idea? 💔💔💔

OP posts:
GaaaaarlicBread · 11/12/2019 14:28

I’d say leave him be . Sorry for your loss though xx

BigFatLiar · 11/12/2019 14:31

Will it make you feel better?

(I suspect your husband was just having a tough time with the digging) Ask him to rebury the cat (and take a clipping) if it'll help, non pet owners often don't recognise the bond and grief pet owners feel.

OrangeHue · 11/12/2019 14:32

It sounds like a bad idea, leave him in peace

gamerchick · 11/12/2019 14:32

Don't do it OP. You will probably regret it quite a bit.

Bury the box you have by all means but don't dig that body up. A fair bit can happen in a few days.

OrangeHue · 11/12/2019 14:33

Big fat liar. I am a pet owner and love my cat dearly. The idea of op redigging the body and unwrapping taking a clipping reburying seems selfish (sorry op) and unfair to the dead pet.

Leave your beloved cat in peace

Finfintytint · 11/12/2019 14:33

Personally I’d leave the poor cat alone now.
If you feel you need to do this then you’ll have to do the digging yourself.

Lllot5 · 11/12/2019 14:34

Leave him to rest now.
So sorry for your loss.

Angie6868 · 11/12/2019 14:36

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I agree with your DH. Leave him be, don't disturb him. He's passed and you'll always have your memories of him.

It's very unreasonable to ask your husband to dig him up. If you do it yourself, you'll wish you hadn't. Let him rest in peace.

BaronessBomburst · 11/12/2019 14:37

I think you should rebury him, especially if it will help you. Will you keep the fur clipping in a locket?
Also, bin bags weren't the best idea. They're not biodegradable and will interfere with the natural processes in a rather unpleasant way.

I'm very sorry. I know how much it hurts. Flowers

Honeyroar · 11/12/2019 14:39

I totally understand where you’re coming from, and his body won’t be too different, but after all this rain he won’t look good and he will be drenched. It won’t be a nice experience. You’d be better leaving him in peace. It won’t matter to him what he’s in. Perhaps plant a little Xmas tree where he is (I did this for my dog that died close to Xmas and I have one little heart shaped decoration on it all year round). Your husband is probably upset too and had the not nice experience of burying him once already. If you really insist on doing this, do it yourself this time?

ChristineBaskets · 11/12/2019 14:44

I'm going to go against the grain here. Nothing you can do can hurt your lovely cat now OP so if it helps your grieving to disinter him then do so. I struggle hugely when our cat died suddenly and the thing that helped me most was having a proper 'send off' at the pet crematorium. Do you have one near you and is it something you could afford? The people I used were wonderful and caring, we saw her laid out at the 'kennel of rest', they took a fur clipping, and she was returned to us in a lovely photo box that holds her ashes and sits on our hearth. Nothing was too much trouble for them, I'm sure they would even dig your dcat up for you if you were local.

I hope you find peace somehow OP, time really does heal eventually although we never forget our beloved kitties Thanks

Pajamagirl · 11/12/2019 14:53

I would do as previous poster suggested , grow a beautiful plant in the spot , I think it is more distressing to go through it all again , I know how difficult it is ,my cat died in the same circumstances . Big hug

SweetAsSpice · 11/12/2019 14:58

Decomposition is fairly rapid, especially if he has been wrapped in plastic.

Gently, the smell and sight will likely be horrendous. It will be incredibly distressing to see his body now.

Let him rest in peace, and honour him in some other way. Flowers

eurochick · 11/12/2019 15:01

Plant a gorgeous shrub on top of him and let him go. Remember him how he was. Don't dig him up.

Thestrangestthing · 11/12/2019 15:10

If it will help you feel better, do it but don't expect your dh to do it for you.
I understand why it would make you feel better to have him in a nice box.

Thestrangestthing · 11/12/2019 15:12

I wouldn't take the clipping thought as that means opening the bags and that will not be a how you want to remember your cat.

WellErrr · 11/12/2019 15:13

Agree with planting something lovely over him.
Don’t dig him up as he will look different and it is that image which will stay with you. Unless you’re expecting DH to do the handling and clipping, which seems a bit unfair.

Very sorry for your loss Flowers

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 11/12/2019 15:15

Leave him. Buy a lovely plant to mark where he's buried. Flowers

Topseyt · 11/12/2019 15:26

I don't think I would do this, although I understand what you are going through. I would be worried about what state of decomposition the body could have reached, and if you did disinter him and saw it then that could be terribly distressing for you.

Perhaps if you contacted the local pet crematorium they might be able to help you, although I am not sure there. If you have his ashes you can buy a nice ornamental casket and keep him with you. That is what I have done for both my cat and later my labrador when each of them needed to be put to sleep.

I'm not sure if disinterment is a service that is offered though, but it can't hurt to enquire.

Hugs to you. I have lost two pets within the last two years. It is an incredibly painful thing to go through.

sableandI · 11/12/2019 16:21

Hi op, sorry for your loss. It's only been 3 days and with the cold weather your beloved cat will not have changed much from when you originally buried him/her. It's perfectly understandable that you want to have a proper burial. I would do it as it's on your mind and there is nothing to fear. It will be like your beloved cat is fast asleep. I wrapped my fur baby in my blanket so she could have a part of me with her x

custardbear · 11/12/2019 16:58

We had to dig up our guinea pig this summer as my DD wanted her burying at our real house with all her friends (were in a rental
Whilst we're rebuilding our home) husband said it wasn't ideal but a quick transfer in a plastic box was fine - she's been buried a similar timeframe from memory and it was summer - don't expect the cat to be the same though so if you're prepared for this then perhaps it's ok
I second the idea of a shrub also
Sorry for your loss

Original poster
Ozzie9523 · 11/12/2019 16:59

Ok well we did it and I am so glad I did. I wasn’t going to look at him but hubby said he just looked like he was asleep and very peaceful. So I did look and he was right, he just looked at peace laying on his side. I sat with him for ages stroking his head and paws and talking to him. We reburied him on top of some cardboard, on the mattress of his bed and with a towel and a top of mine over him. Also a rose, a toy and a card from me. It felt so lovely to stroke him again, I didn’t want to stop. I do feel better that he’s had a proper burial. Going to buy a lovely plant and a gravestone for him. Thanks to everyone for their replies. Now just to get over the heartbreak but I know that’s just time 💔💙

OP posts:
FatBlobbyBob · 11/12/2019 17:03

You can call the Blue Cross if you need to speak to someome whilst you grieve. They are lovely.

0800 096 6606

Flowers Take care OP.

thelikelylass · 11/12/2019 17:51

I've been to a funeral today and feel a bit broken but I am so glad to read this and that you had your comfort today OP.
Pets are our innocence and alive or dead we need to do what we can for them.

Honeyroar · 11/12/2019 18:38

I’m glad you didn’t find it too distressing after all and are getting comfort from it. Sorry for your loss.

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