QuantumCat is an old lady now (she’s approaching 17), and I need a sense-check and handhold on whether I am being fair to her. I am realistic that she is nearing the end of her life, but while I don’t think I should intervene at present, I want to know if it seems that way to an outsider. I’ve seen other owners unable to see what is blatantly staring them in the face, and I don’t want to cause my beautiful girl any unnecessary suffering – but neither do I want to call time if (as I think at the moment) her quality of life is reasonable given her age.
I know that people can have very strong opinions about things like this, but please be gentle with me. I’ve had her since she was a kitten and I love her very much. I just want the best for her. And apologies for the length of this post – but I didn’t want to drip feed.
The good:
She eats very well, and drinks well too – not to much, not too little. Because of this, she is maintaining weight very well.
She toilets regularly, normally and appropriately – the right amount, in the right place, of normal appearance, at a consistent and normal frequency.
She is still affectionate – she seeks us out, both for fuss (which she enjoys) and company. And okay, yes – also to demand more food.
She is not, and never has been, at all aggressive. Her personality hasn’t really changed.
The bad:
She has arthritis, which is being medicated with an anti-inflammatory. When we first started medicating her, the difference in her was incredible. She went from withdrawn and sedentary to active and engaged overnight. Now though – she has slowed down again. She isn’t nearly as withdrawn or subdued as she was pre-medication, but she is definitely a lot less mobile. But it’s hard to know how much of this is due to the arthritis, and how much is due to the fact that…
She has age-related neurological degeneration – basically, her back half doesn’t work properly anymore and has very little strength. She walks well enough, and has a decent turn of speed when there is tuna in the offing, but she is very wobbly. She can’t jump up anymore at all – she can’t get up onto any furniture (sofa, beds, anything at all) without someone lifting her, though she can jump down fine. And she often loses balance when she doesn’t have all 4 paws on the ground – she might topple over while she’s trying to clean herself, or slide off someone’s lap because she seems to have lost track of where all her legs are. She is also very, very slow going up and downstairs, although she can manage.
The ugly:
She has at least some degree of dementia. She sometimes walks into a room and just stops and gazes into space, like she has no idea where she is (a definite behavioural change). She begs food that she doesn’t eat because she’s only just eaten, but seems to have forgotten (I’m pretty sure of this as again, it is a behavioural change). But the biggest problem is that she’ll randomly just start wailing at completely unpredictable times of the day and night – really loud, horrible, distressed yowls. Sometimes it’s fixed with some food or a cuddle, but sometimes not. And even when it does seem fixed, I’m left with the feeling that the intervention only worked because it distracted her/snapped her out of her distress. I’ve classed this as ugly, because 1) it’s horrible for her, and distressing for all of her to hear how upset she is and 2) it is incredibly disruptive, because she does it several times a night as well as during the day – my DD somehow sleeps through it, but it wakes me and DH up every time. It’s like having a new born baby again, and we’re both shattered and irritable due to the lost sleep. But resenting her for it makes me feel terrible.
Until now, the fact that she eats and drinks, wants fuss and company, and is mobile around the house has left me thinking that her quality of life is good enough. But in the last few weeks the dementia has got worse and I'm doubting myself - perhaps I just can't see what's staring me in the face?
If you were me – what would you do?