Struggling after losing our beautiful boy

[gwhizz75]

Our beautiful boy, Woody, died on Friday night and I’m really struggling to come to terms with it. He was only 18 months old and his death was very sudden and yet to be fully explained.

He came home on Thursday night and was having difficulty breathing so we took him straight to the emergency vet. They found fluid on his lungs but couldn’t find a reason for it - no heart problems, no sign of trauma, bloods ok. He was in an oxygen cage for 24 hours but whenever he was taken out, or when he was moved he would start struggling to breathe again. We had a call from the vet on Friday night to say he had gone down hill and they recommended we let him go as they felt he was suffering.

He had been his usual, happy, energetic self all day on Thursday. Ate his dinner as usual, played in the garden with da bird just a couple of hours before this happened. He was jumping round, perfectly healthy with no difficulty breathing at all. It’s so hard knowing something must have happened when he was out later on, but not knowing what it was.

Losing him would be hard enough, but we also own his brother, Buzz so we’re trying to deal with his grief too. They were so close, we always said our worst nightmare was something happening to one of them and leaving the other behind. We knew it would happen at some point, but not so soon. Seeing Buzz on his own is a constant reminder that Woody is no longer here. We do have another older cat called Molly but they don’t have a particularly close relationship. Buzz has been following her around a lot these last few days though.

I just wanted to write this to get it off my chest and also wondered if anyone has had a similar experience. Woody was such an amazing cat, such a character. He was really chatty, whenever you spoke to him he would turn his head on the side (like a dog!) and meow back at you. He never really matured from a kitten, everything was a game. He loved his tummy tickled and would roll over whenever you walked past. He loved running round with his brother and they often slept cuddled up together. They groomed each other after every meal. Losing their relationship feels like a double whammy. I’m so sad for Buzz.

We’re expecting a call from the vet next week to give us a chance to ask questions but they were just as stumped as us really, they didn’t know what had happened.

Hoping that everyone here understands this pain - I feel like many people in the real world don’t, because he was ‘just’ a cat. Someone even said ‘you had three’ as though that makes it easier! I have posted some pics of Woody, he was the cutest cat ever.

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you're going through. What a beautiful boy, hope you get some comfort from those memories of what a happy life Woody had.

You might find Buzz could grieve for his brother, although from talking to our vet and reading threads on here it seems some cats will grieve, others dont seem to notice and some even blossom after the loss of a companion or sibling.

We lost our old boy earlier this year and our younger cat has definitely grieved for him and is just about settling down after 7 months. Her behaviour changes included not playing with favourite toys, quieter, alternating between being clingy or nervous around us, sleeping more and at unusual times. The vet advice was to just keep reassuring her and let old boy fade from her memory although that was harder said than done e.g. little cat had taken to sitting in old boys bed and crying and I didn't have the heart to take the bed away, but instead after a few weeks I put a clean throw on to start lessening his scent. The hardest part was -still is, as we also miss old boy- is not saying his name outloud around little cat as her ears still prick up at his name.

Look after yourselves too, you've had a huge shock. Its never easy to let them go but especially when so unexpectedly. Hopefully your vet can provide some answers when you speak.

I'm so sorry. I can understand how devastating it is, have had my girl euthanised earlier this year while I was away from home receiving treatment. Your cats will be lost, especially his brother but lots of cuddles will help. It took a while and boy cat is more clingy but is back to his mischievous self. Your boys were and are stunning. Keep the happy memories but grieve for your loss. You did the right thing ❤️

I'm sorry for your loss.I've not had a cat pass over at such a young age but I've had older ones go downhill etc and then be PTS.
Cats are important members of the family and anyone who says that they are just a cat is basically a moron.

I’m so so sorry. We recently had this too with our cat. He was the most wonderful cat; very human in his interactions. I still can’t think of him without crying as he was very much part of our family.

Similarly to you, we have two left who don’t really have a relationship. The younger one, who was particularly close to the one that passed away, has started spraying, scooting and being very flighty with us. She’s very definitely grieving.

I’m not sure what the answer is, other than time. I don’t feel ready to introduce a 3rd cat and not sure it would help if I did. I suppose we all just have to find a new normal

We’ve introduced Feliway plug ins on the landings, and Zylkene every few days in the young one’s food - plus lots and lots of 121 strokes and interactions.

Thank you everyone for the replies, it’s good to hear from people who get it. When we dropped him off at the vets on Thursday night we had no idea how serious it was so didn’t really get to say goodbye. We weren’t allowed to visit either as any stress/excitement made his breathing worse. It just feels so unfair, especially with his age and not knowing what happened. I worry in case there was something wrong with him that was always there, and that Buzz could be affected too. It’s definitely something I will ask the vet about.

I’m so sorry to everyone else who has lost a cat, they are very much part of the family. We lost our old boy last year too so it feels like a lot of loss in a short space of time. It’s really helpful to hear what kind of behaviour changes to look out for in Buzz. It sounds like they show grief in lots of different ways, just like humans I guess.

Buzz is the more independent/confident brother so I’m hoping that works in his favour. He’s still eating and playing which is good. He’s crying more than usual though and has been staring out the back door like he’s waiting for him to come home. He went over to Molly after his dinner last night and started grooming her face, like he would always do with Woody. She wasn’t impressed!

Thanks for the tips re: feliway, zylkene and extra cuddles. I think we have some feliway plug ins from when we first introduced the boys to Molly so I will try and hunt them out.

I know it will get easier with time, I just wish it didn’t have to

I'm so sorry, OP . It's heartbreaking to see your picture of Woody and Buzz cuddled up together. Feliway is a good idea as it has a calming influence. Silvervine acts as a positive stimulant (like catnip) so might encourage Buzz to play when he is feeling low.