My cat dosent like my children

[LionsAreNotOkay]

I recently got a new cat, its four years old and was found as a stray 2 months ago. It was taken into the shelter and stayed there for two months, and then we adopted it. When we got the cat, it loves me and my eldest daughter, but hates my son and daughter (who are both younger than my eldest daughter). As it was a stray for four years, it must of lived somewhere, and since it hates my youngest, I think that it lived with a family with very abusive kids before it became a stray, therefore explaining why it hates my kids. Any advice on what to do will be appreciated. Also, it has a scratching post, but ignores it and scratches the sofas instead! Please help on what I should do.

Is the scratch post really tall? Pets at home do an extra tall one, apparently they like to stretch right up when they use their scratch post.

Have you got one of those large cat towers? Lots of hidey holes & things to scratch. That might help her feel less nervous.

When you say "hates" what form does this take ?

Our male rescue adores my DD (17) lies on her bed and purrs'n'dribbles when she strokes him.
He sirs by DH chair and does the "Dad ,Dad where's my laser light?" looks then twirls round trying to catch it.

If I put my hand out for him to sniff or even wipe his face on, he leaps back as if he's scalded giving me a "Don't bloody touch me Missus" look ..Like I'm Cruella DeVille (Good job I love the bones of these little toads)

We have his sister too who just moseys round all of us being charming and distant when it suits.

I buy in their food and do at least 50% of litter duty , it cuts no ice .

If they are just ignoring your younger DC then it might just be the cats' way . Maybe it is scared of younger DC.?
Has the cat got a clear escape route so he's never feeling trapped with them? And the younger ones aware of the cats moods .
My DC are 17 and 19 but we said right at the start
"Read the cats body language" (My cats were living wild for their early years so we don't know if they met anyone who was scary for them. Hopefully someone was kind and fed them)

The sofa scratching ? Can't help, mine have a tower/scratch pole but love to shred the stair carpet at 2am.

Thanks for the messages, she has quite a small scratching post, so I will get her a taller one and see if she uses that.

Well when my younger two kids (aged 6 & 11) approach her, they are very gentle and non-grabby kids, she looks petrified and darts off and hides under something. Just hope she settles down with them eventually

You can get spray on catnip for the new post. Can the little kids be the sole giver of treats?. Nothing like a chew stick to make friends & influence cats.

That's a really good idea about the spray on catnip, and I'll let the kids dish out the treats, never thought of that trick

It's unlikely your cat is associating a previous experience so directly with your children to be honest... It just sounds like she's a shy cat and younger children, however gentle and well-meaning, are often faster and louder than adults and older children.

Given the timeline, I gather you've not had her long yet? So she's probably still settling in and getting used to you all and the new environment in general. It can take several weeks or even months for a cat to feel at home in a new environment.

It may be better for the kids to not try to directly approach her for now if possible. Let the cat go to them, when she's ready. They could interact with her more indirectly for now, perhaps with a dangly toy or get them to sit down on the floor legs outstretched and place treats near them or on their legs for the cat to come and get (but they should stay still and not reach out towards the cat at all).

I'm sure given time she'll settle.

Try wrapping Tin foil over the areas of your sofa you don't want scratched, worked for my two cats when they were rescue kittens. Looks a bit funny but worked!
I'd give him more time, let him settle. Be patient he's had a rough time by the sounds of it.

Our cats not keen on kids, he’s never been hurt by any as far as I know but kids are unpredictable compared to adults.

I've had a few cats and none of them have particularly wanted to be petted or picked up by smaller children. I had one that would put up with it for minute or two, and wasn't so bad if the child used a brush rather than a hand, before running away and wanting to be left alone :)

I always just figured most cats don't get on with smaller kids.

Cupboard love would be my suggestion too. Our youngest was nervous of BiteyCat when he first came to us (for good reason) and he wasn't keen on her either (possibly because he could tell she was nervous and so unpredictable). After some discussion with her, we made it her job to feed him when she got in from school so their interaction was regular and positive but didn't involve her trying to pet him or having to approach him as he could come to her. Things improved very quickly - we moved from that to her playing with a fishing rod toy with him and he now hangs out in her room a fair bit and accepts strokes and she's happy to have him there rather than asking me to evict him.

Tip re the sofa scratching:
my past cats avoided all vertical scratch posts, including a garden full of tempting (you'd have thought) tree trunks.

In desperation, I tried one of these www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/scratching_posts/cardboard_cat_furniture/280459?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpIzF2O3p5AIVFvlRCh3lYgzFEAQYASABEgKoF_D_BwE
at both ends of sofa, sprinkled with strong catnip to encourage use (sent them high as kites, but they enjoyed themselves!).

Worked brilliantly overall, bar the very occasional sofa clawing.
Some cats just prefer horizontal scratching, i think.

(Balancing lidded plastic pots containing jangly coins on sofa arms sometimes works: it'll spook a cat if they scratch sofa and knock them off).

I also like that the waves are more eco-friendly, and blend into surroundings better than brightly coloured versions.
Good luck.