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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Kitty is so stressed by collar :(

48 replies

LesserBohemian · 26/07/2019 08:30

We have two cats who are brothers. They are two years old and couldn’t be more different. One is very chilled out, goes out exploring for miles and loves meeting people. The other came to us I’ll, underweight and terribly frightened of everyone and everything. He was full of fleas and obviously the runt of the litter.

We put a collar on the adventurer early on as he was desperate to get outside, which was not a problem after a few shakes of his head to get used to it. This one just nipped out in the am and pm and spent the days inside as a lap cat (my baby), so it wasn’t necessary.

He’s since made a wonderful recovery and has been going out more and more since the weather warmed up this year. He’s been staying out pretty much all day and has been missing meals too, which is unusual for him, so we thought it best to put a collar on him now, just in case (although he is chipped) and to show anyone who might be feeding him that he is owned.

He hates it. He’s literally been climbing the walls and tearing back and forth completely spooked since it went on last night. He was getting himself in to strange positions, rubbing his neck on things and really freaking out like a mad, out of control horse. It’s clear it’s more than mere irritation at the new thing. He is properly disturbed by it.

He won’t let us near him to adjust it as it’s too loose, and was even hanging off the upstairs window sill last night like he was threatening to jump!

This morning he has a really gammy eye, which is what he gets when he’s stressed out. The poor thing is not himself at all and I fear we’re going to go right back to square one with regards to his confidence.

What would you do? How long shall I give it before I take it off? I can’t bear the thought of losing him but equally can’t bear the thought of him never trusting us again.

I can’t let him out until I can adjust it so that it’s safe, which is only making matters worse.

Sad
OP posts:
MrsMop7 · 26/07/2019 09:23

it’s only been on since 11pm and I didn’t want to give up too early if it’s quite usual for cats to get used to it over a couple of days.

But you said your cat was distressed and disturbed. What kind of a cat owner leaves an animal like that, for NO reason?

Padiana · 26/07/2019 09:26

Get that collar off ASAP before he starts pissing all over the house with stress. Horrible things!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 26/07/2019 09:30

it’s only been on since 11pm and I didn’t want to give up too early if it’s quite usual for cats to get used to it over a couple of days.

Would you do the same to a baby? If he's distressed now he's still going to be distressed in a couple of days time. He cant tell you to take it off but its clearly causing him discomfort and he's showing you in every possible way he wants it removed. It is unnecessary and its causing him anxiety and discomfort, surely a quick grab with one hand and remove with the other is less stressful than leaving it on any longer? You don't need a forum full of people online to tell you that.

PixieN · 26/07/2019 09:34

My cats hate collars. When I tried them, one was so distressed she tried to shred the collar to get it off. I was really worried she would cause an injury to herself if we kept it on as she was so disturbed by it. Neither cat wears one and they are both fine. One of mine loves being outside and adventuring. They are cats - they love their freedom. Is he neutered? That can prevent cats from wandering too far. Your neighbours will all know he’s your cat and everyone else will see he’s well fed and not a stray. Don’t worry. It’s unkind to leave collars on when they clearly hate them. Please take it off.

ChristineBaskets · 26/07/2019 09:38

Jeez I hope you've taken it off now. Seriously can't get my head round how you didn't do it sooner.

PixieN · 26/07/2019 09:39

There’s always a risk when your cat goes outside, but you have to weigh that against their quality of life.

LesserBohemian · 26/07/2019 09:46

For the record, it was on that long because he jumped out an open window (34 degrees here) after he went mad and he didn’t come back until 3am. It was not through my choice.

Although I waited up for him, he wouldn’t let me near him and settled in his bed but this morning wouldn’t let me near him to either adjust it or take it off again. Hence me posting first thing.

He’s just emerged from his hiding place so I’m going to attempt to get it off.

I just wish you could post on a forum without people assuming you’re an awful person/completely stupid. My question was if this is normal and should I give it time or not as my other cat is a dude about everything and these are my first cats.

A simple “ oh god no, they either are ok or hate is and he sounds like the latter” is the kind of reply I was after. I should have known better.

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 26/07/2019 09:46

The best way to keep your cats safe is to keep them in, especially when you live near a busy road.

LesserBohemian · 26/07/2019 09:47

Thanks for your reasonable response @PixieN. It’s difficult to know how far to go.

OP posts:
MrsMop7 · 26/07/2019 09:47

I just wish you could post on a forum without people assuming you’re an awful person/completely stupid.

My question was if this is normal and should I give it time or not

I think the assumption came from the fact you had to ask.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 26/07/2019 09:50

I just wish you could post on a forum without people assuming you’re an awful person/completely stupid

To be fair from your description of his behaviour surely you could see yourself it was pretty cruel to keep the collar on. Even if he did eventually settle down were you honestly thinking it would be fair to him to make him so anxious and stressed for a few days while you waited to see if he got used to it?

LesserBohemian · 26/07/2019 09:51

It’s off!

@QuestionableMouse

We tried to keep them indoors but big boy is a proper outdoor cat howling at the door. And he wanders so far, over all terrain. He’s normally in the countryside but there is a big road nearby.

@ChristineBaskets Answer in the above post.

OP posts:
LesserBohemian · 26/07/2019 09:53

@MrsMop7 Without previous experience of cats and not being able to get near him - yes, I decided to ask to get a feel.

Don’t worry, I will never make that mistake again - posting on a forum, that is.

OP posts:
mamalovebird · 26/07/2019 09:55

I've had 5 cats, none wore collars. All were/are chipped. They can go missing collar or not. I wouldn't stress yourself out by overthinking it. Most people know about microchips these days.

LesserBohemian · 26/07/2019 09:55

@HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone

For the last time - I couldn’t get near him!!

Would you have turned your house upside down and pursued him out of every hiding place whilst he was panting and hissing and terrified to get it off sooner, or would you have waited until he had calmed down slightly and approached him calmly to try and get it off?

Because that’s what I have done.

OP posts:
mamalovebird · 26/07/2019 09:59

It's a fair enough question if you're new to animal ownership. You just want to do the right thing. I had to make the decision on Weds to have my 15 year old cat put to sleep. Even when you know deep down it's the right thing to do, it's still hard to make that call and even now I'm doubting myself becuse my emotions take over and I wonder if I've done the right thing.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 26/07/2019 10:01

Would you have turned your house upside down and pursued him out of every hiding place whilst he was panting and hissing and terrified to get it off sooner

Honestly yes I would because in that situation its better to end the stress quickly rather than wait in the hope he would calm down.

I'm glad to hear the collar is off now hopefully you consider removing it from your other cat too.

bodgeitandscarper · 26/07/2019 10:16

I have six cats, none of them wear collars. I did try with one that kept vanishing and bought expensive trackers for the collar, which she lost every single time. A collar is no guarantee that your cat will be returned, and if it goes missing and your description advises that the cat is wearing a red collar and it has lost the collar, then it is even less likely to be found! A microchip is the way forwards.

I also have a stray rescue that has the most horrific scarring under his front leg and around his neck from a collar that he must have got his front leg through. It has taken away a load of tissue and muscle from around his elbow and affects his movement. The pain and suffering he went through must have been terrible, and all for a stupid collar. For that reason alone I wouldn't use one now.

LittleLongDog · 26/07/2019 10:24

He sounds the sort of cat that wouldn’t let strangers near enough to him to read the collar anyway. So I can’t imagine, for him, a collar will be of much use.

If he were my cat I would shut him in a small room and hold him down gently to take the collar off him.

My cat was/is extremely timid so I know where you’re coming from with wanting to let him come to you. But he’ll be able to cope with this and then be happier much more quickly.

LittleLongDog · 26/07/2019 10:27

Sorry, just seen it’s off!

It’s such a worry having pets sometimes isn’t it? You want to do the best for them, it’s understandable.

floppybit · 26/07/2019 10:31

We have always had cats who all go outside including an expensive Havana brown Siamese and none of them have ever worn collars. Please, please, please take it off. I would hate to have something around my neck. A few of them, including the Siamese, have gone 'missing' for days on end but they always turn up again. Cat's go on adventures, it's what they do!!

floppybit · 26/07/2019 10:34

Sorry, just saw it's off. 👍

BertieBotts · 26/07/2019 22:51

How old would someone have to be to not know about pet microchips? :o Sorry... My mum in her 60s and MIL in her 70s definitely know about microchips. OK they are both animal lovers, but then again someone who isn't isn't likely to take in a stray/lost cat are they?

I don't think people have insinuated you are stupid. Maybe just a misreading of tone. I find these forums to be quite helpful TBH, I suppose at least you've got the info you needed, in the end.

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