Aargh a marten

[Prokupatuscrakedatus]

We live in a flat that's been built into the roof space of an oldish house, so above our ceilings there is space, closed space, sometimes only 10 cm sometimes up to 1,5 m. A marten moved in, it sounds as if some serious building work is being done and she comes home drunk every morning for some dancing practice. We (management, caretaker, me, chimney sweep, random roofers) have not been able to find her entrance point. And then there is Sev. He is following from below, trying to get as close to the marten as he can possibly get. He sits on wardrobes staring at the ceiling. Just now he stood on his hind legs on my Kallax, reaching up as far as he could, then bent to the left and fell down on my back.
Martens live up to 10 years. Seigh.

I just have spiders in mine.

If she’s got a den you need to get natural England involved, but if she’s got young they probably won’t move her.

Are you in Uk?

Oh god you have my sympathies. Once stayed in a stunningly picturesque place in France. It became apparent the first night that there was a marten in the roof. Not a relaxing holiday but at least I could go home after ten days

She's had a litter, at least we think so.
Whats app conversation around 2 am. DD: do spinders make noise?
Me: if they are large enough.. DD: I hear scratching and feeping
Me: I'll come. In the ceiling right above DD head!
No, we are not in the UK. We can't remove her as she has young and we don't know where she gets in. And I am not going cut holes. We can't call an exterminator because she is not vermin and falls under all sorts of protective laws.
I'd settle for her wearing soft socks...

I just had to google them. Gosh they're cute. Sorry not helpful.

They are, they've got sweet little faces, but the cat goes crazy. Sev thinks he's got to catch it - he could not catch a cold if his life depended on it. He is sort of dim and clumsy. That's why he is an indoor cat.