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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Adopting a cat with a young child

25 replies

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/01/2019 19:59

We would like to adopt a youngish (eg 2-4yrs) adult cat from a rescue. We are flexible about whether its indoor/outdoor, would get a cat flap and have a litter tray, have lots of spare room and places where a cat could have a comfy bed to retreat to. We live in a cul de sac (our house is actually on a pedestrian path) in a quiet village, with a well fenced garden.

Oh and we have DS, age 2.

Are we completely wasting our time trying to get a shelter to let us have one? They seem to have almost no cats that could tolerate children under 7. I really don't want to buy :(

OP posts:
eurochick · 08/01/2019 20:23

I'm looking for similar with a four year old. Every cat in the category and the two rescues I've looked at say school age or older.

Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/01/2019 20:40

Its so sad isn't it. A young cat is going to live for many more years, and we are in a really stable phase of our lives. I'm sure we could offer a cat a lovely forever home but they won't let us.... meanwhile I know many families with young cats and toddlers rubbing along nicely.

OP posts:
Vinorosso74 · 08/01/2019 20:47

The CP I volunteer at are fairly flexible and it varies depending on the day and the child(ren). A lot of cats aren't so keen on small children but some are quite happy with them. Definitely an adult cat with a 2 year old! Is your DS used to cats? That can be a help.
If you have a Cats Protection Adoption Centre near you they could be more flexible than a branch. It is worth calling to enquire. Your home set up sounds good for a cat Smile

Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/01/2019 20:56

Two of my sisters have cats that he sees regularly. He loves cats, but we have held off on plans to get our own as we waited until we felt he could behave appropriately. Recently he's become much more careful & cautious, is happy to watch an adult pet the cat and is thrilled to be involved by filling food bowl etc. I understand shelters are concerned for a cats welfare but where adopters are patient and understand that a cat will need a long time to settle & adapt before engaging with a child, i think the shelters are over too over fussy.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/01/2019 21:01

Thanks vinorosso but i checked our local cats protection. They dont have a single cat they think could go to anyone with children under 10 (and only one suitable for children aged 10-13). I feel like the rescues are the ones forcing people to buy :(

OP posts:
Vinorosso74 · 08/01/2019 21:13

I would persevere with the rescues. Rehoming is busy this time of year so child friendly cats are likely to be rehomed quickly. It's hard as you don't know what cats will come in! They do need to be careful to reduce the chances of cat being returned hence appearing quite strict on things.
There are loads of small rescues out there too. If you are willing to give a rough idea as to where you're located someone may know of places.

Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/01/2019 21:42

Vino, in your experience, what proportion of the cats that you see are given to young families (ie with pre school age children)? We arent willing to spend months waiting if the odds are very poor from the outset. We would rather rescues were honest if buying a cat from a breeder is a more appropriate choice for us.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/01/2019 21:45

I'm in the SE btw. Ive been disheartened this evening by a friend (offline) who has told me rescues almost never have adult cats they are willing to rehome with pre-school age children.

OP posts:
chemenger · 08/01/2019 21:50

My CP branch would rehome an adult cat to a family with small children, especially if the children have had some experience with cats. We wouldn’t let you adopt kittens but a confident adult cat would be fine. At the moment we don’t have many cats, we had a big adoption push before we stopped adopting over Christmas and mostly have more difficult to home cats now, and kittens.

HickoryDickoryDot · 08/01/2019 21:54

I rehomed a cat back in September when my son was 18 months old. It wasn’t an issue at all. Our cat, Martha is 3 years old and had been an indoor cat living with an elderly lady who had to go into care. She’s settled in really well and my son is quite disinterested in her unless he can feed her dreamies!

I got her from a Cats Protection Adoption Centre, the one in Bridgend, Wales. They were really helpful and there was actually quite a few cats we could have chosen. No home visit either. Good luck!

Vinorosso74 · 08/01/2019 22:10

The adoption centre I'm at test cats out with children. However these are primary school aged children rather than pre schoolers. However the staff do observe how the cats react when children are in the centre.
I'm not involved in the adoptions process-the staff do all that. I have seen adult cats homed with children mostly primary school age upwards but that may be because people tend to want to adopt once kids are a little older. As I say they do a case by case basis and the whole household has to meet the cat.
Our centre is also short on cats right now! No doubt that will soon change.

chemenger · 08/01/2019 22:11

Our CP branch does try to only restrict adoption when necessary. One of my fosters was terrified of children so he really could not go to a family. He had been a stray in a tough area for a while and we assume he had been mistreated by children there at some point. We’ve had plenty of bomb proof cats who would be fine though.

Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 09/01/2019 12:57

Thanks all.

I think I wouldn't mind if there wasn't such a negative reaction to anyone who does buy a cat from a breeder. If the reality is thats the most suitable option for families with young children, it shouldn't be taboo.

NB. I disagree with the notion that you simply shouldn't have cats at all with young children. In the same way kittens have to be socialised to people at a young age, I think its important that children be socialised about how to behave around animals at a young age too.

OP posts:
viccat · 09/01/2019 13:52

You can PM me if you want a recommendation of a SE London rescue that is happy to home to responsible homes who have children. No guarantee we'll have someone suitable but we may do if you are flexible (and we adopt outside our area if people are willing to travel to us).

In general, a lot of cats who end up in rescue are nervous or have past behavioural issues and ideally need a calm home. But we also take in cats who are used to children and come for rehoming for example due to someone in the family becoming allergic or relocating, and they make great family cats of course.

UltimateFoole · 09/01/2019 14:01

You’re not wasting your time.

We adopted a brother and sister, adult cats, from Blue Cross. Our children were around 18months at the time.

The cats were described as being suitable to live with young children and they have behaved perfectly. I can’t say the same for the children Grin

Could you call some local animal shelters and explain that you have a lovely home to offer to a cat/ cats who would tolerate children. Ask them to keep you in mind if any suitable pets come in.

chemenger · 09/01/2019 14:27

CP agrees with you, OP, that cats and small children can live together, they have a campaign at the moment called Baby Love encouraging people not to give up their cats when they have babies. Both my DDs grew up with cats and are now huge animal lovers, despite having been put in their places by cats at times.
Cats that can go to families with small children need to be robust enough not to react badly to inadvertent loud scary noises, the odd grasp of a tail etc (however careful the parent is these things can happen) but probably also past the mad teenage stage where they would accidentally run over the child. I had one foster who was absolutely bomb proof and adorable but who loved to run as fast as he could in the house. His preferred method of stopping was to barrel into somebody’s legs. He was a big cat and had sent his owners toddlers flying frequently and they in the end gave him up for adoption because the children were terrified of him. Many, many tears from his mum and he came with lorryloads of dreamies and toys. He went to an adult only household where he is very happy.
There is a cat out there for you, OP, the suggestion to getting in touch with rescues is good, we keep a list of potential adopters and sometimes cats never go on the webpage because we match them up with someone as soon as they arrive.

chemenger · 09/01/2019 14:30

I think January is a tough time to adopt, many small, volunteer run rescues will have geared down over the holidays and many people decide to adopt in the new year.

MycatsaPirate · 09/01/2019 14:43

There are lots of smaller rescues. Margaret Green are based in Devon and Dorset and Paula's cat rescue is also in Dorset. Paula's is on facebook.

We have six cats and adopted number 2 when DD2 was 7. I really hope that you can find the perfect cat (or pair of cats?) for your family. The more educated you are about cat care, the more chances of them letting you adopt.

Another essential is Feliway for new cats coming into the home. There is a stress one and a friends one.

Oh and don't buy cat beds. They will ignore them after a fortnight and sleep on your bed. Just buy a few blankets you can put on the sofa for them and just wash them regularly.

Fickle buggers are cats.

Original poster
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 09/01/2019 21:09

Thanks all. Hoping we do get the chance to give a forever home to a cat in need but don't want to wait forever.

OP posts:
WineCheeseSleep · 11/01/2019 16:53

We recently adopted our cat with a 5 year old and 2 year old at home. It did take a few months to find the right cat and I got a bit fed up too. Do you have a Blue Cross near you? They say on their website if they're suitable to live with children.

WineCheeseSleep · 11/01/2019 16:55

There do seem to be very few in the rescues at the moment, at least judging by what's on the websites.

WineCheeseSleep · 11/01/2019 17:02

www.celiahammond.org/canning-town/index.php/animals-needing-homes/canning-town-london/8-animals-needing-homes/1199-rebel-2

Have you tried Celia Hammond? Look at this little beauty who can live with children Smile

Justme1981 · 11/01/2019 17:06

Hi

I wanted to say don't give up ! It can be done! I have just rehomed a cat (3 weeks ago) i have a toddler (2years) & 2 part time dogs. The cat is 1 year old, he has settled in perfectly to our home & came from the local rspca. I took my ds with me to look at the cats & we got a couple out to see how they reacted to him. Ds loves the cat, when cat has had enough he just gets out of the way. I'm sure your future cat is out there Smile

Vinorosso74 · 11/01/2019 17:42

If you're anywhere near Worcester Park on Surrey/SW London the Ginger Cat House Rescue has a 2 year old tortie girl called Spice who is used to children?

drspouse · 11/01/2019 19:37

We just got our 18 month old cat with a 4yo and a 6yo who is very, er, boisterous. She's a confident, In Charge cat and she has taken us all in her stride. She was from CP.

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