Tough topic... when do you know it’s time to put a beloved pet down?

[HJE17]

Context: 14-year-old male cat. Has been in our family since he was 6 weeks old. Was always slim but in the past year has lost literally 1/2 his body weight. Has been being treated the past 2 weeks for hyperthyroidism, but there are other conditions which may or may not be related: pancreatitis, heart murmur, abnormal liver enzymes, and suspected kidney issues. He’s due more blood tests in 2 weeks to finalize the diagnosis.

I guess I just want some thoughts on how to make a caring and responsible decision regarding his care. Hyperthyroidism I know is treatable, but I’m uncertain about the rest. At the moment he’s in a lot of pain despite being on what I understand is a pretty heavy duty pain killer. He’s crying on and off every couple of hours, wandering around the house seeming to look to us for reassurance and only settling when he’s in our arms (he’s usually not the cuddliest guy!). This is somewhat complicated by the fact that we have a young child and #2 due in 3 months. We try to provide him with lots of affection, but we’re spread a bit thin and soon will be spread thinner.

Treatment is likely to be very expensive (we’re in Canada and so far in 2 weeks of care we’re approaching the $1000 mark.) I don’t want that to overly influence my decision, although obviously I can’t be shelling that much out every few weeks indefinitely. I guess my question is: has anyone had experiences of these conditions (combined)? Is there any hope of a better quality of life for our little guy given the proper treatment, or are we prolonging his suffering with multiple interventions? Has anyone come to a decision to put a family pet down, and if so how did you reach it? Our vet isn’t very helpful in these conversations, we’re finding. His approach is always “we can try x, it will cost y”. When I’ve asked him about quality of life and told him I’m not particularly interested in discussing the financial pros and cons (at least at this stage) and just want a realistic expectation as to the cat’s chances of surviving and thriving, it seems like something short circuits in the vet’s brain.

I always expected I could be unsentimental about the cat, but it appears that I can’t be. Especially since my 17-month-old DD just started talking a few weeks ago and one of her very first words was “cat”. She absolutely adores him... This is so tough...

Please let him end his life with dignity and have the vet put him to sleep. With those medical issues, its only going to get worse and no animal should suffer unneccesarily as he obviously is at the moment. Better a week too soon than a week too late.

Forgot to say, Ive been in your exact same situation. It’s heartbreaking isnt it.

Trust what the vet says, if they say it’s time let your baby go. It’s hard and I’ve been there, but suffering is worse

I would normally say, ask your vet, but it seems you aren’t really getting much guidance there.

The decision is being passed back to you.

he’s in a lot of pain despite being on what I understand is a pretty heavy duty pain killer. He’s crying on and off every couple of hours, wandering around the house seeming to look to us for reassurance and only settling when he’s in our arms

...I think your cat is telling you the answer.

Seven years ago, I was exactly where you are now. Our beautiful 14 year old girl was deteriorating rapidly and I took her to the emergency vet who suspected a whole host of issues. He also suspected she was in a great deal of pain. I held her close as she slipped away peacefully and without pain.

Loving your fur baby does not mean fighting for them to live, but rather, fighting for them to live the best life possible and knowing when the time comes to let them rest.

I am so sorry you are having to make this horrible decision. Take advice from your vet, but in your circumstances, I would let him go.

I'm so sorry to read this, if he was mine and I knew he was crying in pain and unhappy I would end his life.
It's not easy to make the decision, hopefully though you will be able to look back and know you made the right choice for him.
Can you get the vet to do a house visit?

I think I just knew, she was hiding in corners and just wasn't the Maia I knew. When her bloods came back as awful there was no decision to make. She had a beautiful, peaceful death, in my arms with her sister with her.

This is really really tough - one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. You say he is in pain despite pain relief. Given his age and range of ailments I wonder if you know the time has come? It sounds as if it has, to me, at a distance. It sounds as if he is not happy. One thing to think about - cats often go somewhere private to die - this can be very difficult to cope with - my dsister wasndistraught when her cat went wandering off and there was then a search for days for him. Found in hidden place in next door garden. Lovely that he had chosen how andnwherento die but hugely difficult for sister and he had been in pain. Sister still feels guilty still about not having made the decision earlier.
As I type this I remember and honour my lovely boys over the years for whom I had to make the decision. It is so tough.
Hugs.

Alright. Thanks for the insights. We have an appointment with the vet again in 2 days and if there’s no improvement by then, then I think we know what we need to do. Meanwhile we’ll try to keep him as comfortable as possible with the regular administration of his painkillers and lots of cuddles... poor guy.

... another challenge will be convincing my husband that this is the right thing to do. He never wanted a cat in the first place and is even mildly allergic! But when my parents needed us to take in our family pet my DH agreed “for a couple of weeks”. Four years on, he and the cat are best buddies. When I travel for work, the cat even sleeps curled in DH’s arms on my side of the bed. DH really wants to see if the pancreatitis is a “flare up” that could get better. The vet had said it could be and DH has really latched onto that. He doesn’t want to make any decisions until after a blood test in 2 weeks. But if the poor kitty is still crying this incessantly I don’t see how that’s fair to him. DH and I have our first “date night” tonight in several months. I’d been hoping for a slightly lighter topic of conversation, but such is life, I suppose!

How did it go?

DH understands the need. If the cat hasn’t shown a marked improvement by Monday, then we’ll have a “realistic” conversation with the vet about chances of recovery and be prepared not to bring the little guy home with us. For now, the cat has actually stopped crying so maybe... maybe...? He had a little nibble of food as well. Fingers crossed. But fingers crossed on a bit of a deadline...

Well fingers crossed from me too. The only thing you can do is what seems best. Only important thing is to know you did the best in retrospect or as close as dammit.

if your cat is in a lot of pain you really should have him put to sleep. It isn't fair to let him suffer as pancreatic pain is very severe.
I've had 5 put to sleep over the years and it really is the most awful decision to make but I have always done it when I feel the cat has had enough.
My current cat has diabetes, hyperthyroidism and the cat version of chrones diease so I'm watching and waiting and so far she is fine but the minute I feel her quality of life has gone I'll have the vet out to my house.
I'm so sorry you have to make this awful decision

I had to make this decision with my old boy just before Christmas. What decided me was that he was withdrawing himself from us, and increasingly miaowing for long periods, as if in pain. It was hard because he was still eating and enjoying some quality of life - but I didn't want it to get to the stage of no quality of life.

The hardest time was between making the decision and the appointment at the vets - I kept thinking that I could stop it and give him more time - but I knew it would never be easier. I cried for days afterwards, but he went peacefully and was loved until the end. If only cats had the same lifespan as humans.

My cat has pancreatitis and was in absolute agony. But she'd shown no sign of pain until I picked her up. She ended up on morphine and ketamine infusions to control it. By some miracle she survived. Your cats pain is probably far worse than you think as he won't show it. Sounds like it's tie.

I'm taking my 16 year old to be put to sleep tomorrow. She's been back and forth to the vets for the past 6ish weeks.

All her bloods were fine, but she's been losing weight rapidly, has muscle wastage but painkillers make her sick and signs of going senile (toileting over house, staring at walls etc).

Last took her on Friday, yet more weight lost, plus breathing looking strange. Vet said she was likely to go into crisis and advised not to leave it much more than a week. Also thinks she may have a tumour but said an x-ray wouldn't change the outcome so no point.

This is so hard and heartbreaking for you. I had to make this decision last week. Similar diagnosis as well. As soon as I heard that he was in pain even though I didn’t think he was, I knew. It was so peaceful at the end. Not at all what I’d expected. But I’m glad I made the decision, hard as it was. Rather a day too soon than a day too late.

My 17 year old boy had some kidney issues but had a massive growth on his leg, we always thought it would outlive him as it had been there a good few years but suddenly it started to grow then it split, he would have needed to have his leg amputated and at 17 he wouldn’t have coped. He had muscle wastage too and was painfully thin. The last thing I wanted to do was make him suffer. I think you know when it’s time.

I took our 15 year old boy cat to the vet yesterday with my MIL as he'd gone off his food over Christmas and was just not himself- I thought it was his teeth. Did blood tests, they came back he was in end stage renal failure with 3 of the readings off the charts, other results showing a probable gastric ulcer and he was severely anaemic too. He'd lost over a kilo in weight in 4 weeks and only weighed 2.8kg.

Well, a phone call to my husband later and he said not to wait for him to travel home, but to say goodbye for him. We said goodbye and I held him as the medicine went in and he died in my arms, which is what I always want for any of our family pets ( to be cradled with love from the minute they enter our family to the minute they leave it)

His twin sister is bewildered, my husband is gutted and I keep bursting in to tears when I go in to the hall where he used to guard the loo when I was using it- he never let me close the door; into the kitchen where his brand new bowl my MIL got for him at Christmas is sitting, when I found the bag with the stockings form my BIL cat to the twins for Christmas, untouched.

For all I am a wreck, it would have been ultimately cruel to let him live in such a way. We are getting his ashes back in a few days time in a carved wooden cat shaped urn and he cat sit on the bookcase he was never allowed on.

We’ve been there - it’s the hardest but best thing you can do for your best. This quote is so true. I’m sure you will make the right decision for your pet.

@SecretNutellaFix so sorry got your loss. I took my cats sister with her as I knew that Maia would want her for comfort, she climbed into Magics basket and snuggled up with her while we waited for the vet. I sat her on the table while I cuddled Maia. I think it helped Magic. She sniffed her and instantly recoiled. She has never looked for her. It helped me not having to go home completely on my own.

Better a week too soon, than a day too late.

Please stay with him if you can. It’s a very peaceful process.

We thought it was either his teeth or maybe a water infection and he'd be coming home with us. In a couple of weeks we're going to bring his sister and get her checked out too- so if she is developing anything we can keep an eye out.

I thought my boy had an teeth as well. As he was off his dry food, but would eat wet. But it turned out to be diabetes.

We treated him for three months, but he had other issues.

Said goodbye a week ago. Still crying daily.