Help. Indecision about adoption

[SciFiScream]

I grew up with pets (dogs, cats, hamsters) but since I've been with my DH (16 years, 14 years married) I haven't had a pet. He's anti-pet. He did agree that when the time was right we'd consider a pet but "the time being right" always changed. Now I have DS (12) and DD (8) who both really want a pet. So he's agreed. We've been researching and thinking and planning for about 4 years. We've visited rehoming centres, we've held cats (to check for allergies, I have allergies, for years even since I had cats, but take a daily antihistamine). We've thought about costs, insurance, holidays, our garden, etc etc. We're ready.
We've found a pair of 7-month old kittens who are ready to be re-homed. They are brother and sister (vaccinated, chipped, neutered, litter trained, well-handled) and they are absolutely beautiful
But, but, but
I'm beginning to become like DH and be anti-pet.
What should I do?

Pets are a lot of work. I waited ten years to get my kitten - she has twin over my house, climbs the curtains and claws the carpet. I still love her!

THey are also quite expensive. Take a look at the number of 6-12 month old kittens up for rehoming - this is often because people underestimated the work, cost and destruction. I think it’s great you have researched this so much, if your not sure don’t do it.

If you're unsure don't do it. Pets are hard work (especially kittens) but I love having a cat at home. The positives outweigh the negatives by a long way.

We're going to visit on Sunday. I'm excited, nervous and terrified. I've fallen in love with their picture.
I know all the downsides. I really do.
I also know all the upsides. My lovely cat was one of my best friends when I was a teenager. Kept me company and loved me through all the teenage angst. I still have her ashes.
My son could do with a furry friend like I had.

I bought cat treats tonight to take with me when we visit. (If allowed of course!)

If you are sure then go for it. But what what exactly was giving you second thoughts?

The second thoughts come from the fact I've lived without a pet for 16 years and I've got used to what that means.
If we get a cat or two now it's a big thing for the next 15 years at least.
Maybe I've changed too much?

It's a big decision and a massive responsibility- I want to do the right thing.

Maybe I'm anti-let now too? Maybe DH has rubbed off on me? I've been listening to anti-pet messages for 16 years. Maybe it's worked?

Cats are, in some ways, a low maintenance pet, you don't have to walk them and can leave them at home by themselves, they are generally quite happy to snooze the hours away. However, if you have doubts then don't commit to any pet, they all require love, time, money, attention. Cats can also be contrary by nature, they often only want cuddles when it suits them and you need to give them space. (Not all cats obviously, I'm generalising)
Maybe if you could outline your reservations we could help unpick it a bit?

We've got the time, money, space and attention. I've fallen in love with their picture.
I think I've done me best to list my reservations above.

You're completely right to consider the responsibility seriously. I love cats for the reasons above, to me a house isn't a home without a cat. But you don't sound certain. Go and visit them but don't make any firm decisions on the spot, even if you really fall in love. Go home and see how you feel after a day or two. You'll know if you really want them.

I used to have arguments with DH shouting "I'm not living the rest of my life without a pet" and that when older maybe we'd have to have two houses side by side so I could have pets in mine.
I've also told him that when we retire we are getting a dog.
But now? It's the closest we've in about 4 years to cats that might become ours and I'm scared!
I've been brainwashed into an anti-per person. 🤦🏼‍♀️☹️

What has changed your DH's mind? Is he still giving off negative vibes? Do you feel like if it goes wrong you'll be held responsible? I may be way off the mark, just thinking out loud.

Kittens are a big commitment, there's no doubt about that. What will your life look like for the next 20 years otherwise and how does the commitment sit with that?

Have you considered an older cat? Much easier - won't climb the curtains or run around at 4am...

I got my pair home and thought, what the hell have I done. But they are the best thing ever, even though mine have been nothing but trouble health wise.

My reservations were the damage to my furniture and carpets. And having to leave the cat in a chattery wen I travel.

I have accepted the fluffy spots on my carpet and have arranged excellent cat sitters who love her more than they love me (my parents🙄). I was also worried about leaving her outside when I am at work - microchip catflap with app on phone.

I wouldn’t get 2
Both mum and I have done it (she did twice having not learned the first time)
They aren’t usually as interested in you if you get two together of same age
Get one. Maybe next year get another

Three people nagging my DH has changed his mind (me plus the two kids)
Also our next door neighbour cat visits and he's gradually getting used to that. He's helped look after NDNcat when the owners are away. He's even cleaned the litter tray. So I think he's lost some of the fear he had.
Close friends have been telling him how nice it is to have pets
He's seen how happy the kids are around pets
He also promised me ten years ago and I've never met him forget it

Our lives are here for the next 20 years easily.

I grew up with a minimum of two cats - have had more. I think we had four at one point plus a dog.

@viccat it's really hard to re-home where I live (I've been on another thread about this). Most rehoming centres won't re-home to us until youngest is 10.
Also the one centre that would, eventually turned me down because I work part-time and I'm out of the house 3 days a week (I know, I know)
The kittens are 7-months old so not tiny (but I can't remember if still in the crazy stage at that age?)

Still a bit crazy at seven months. My six month old still climbs the curtains, and wakes me a few times through the night

Ok so now I know bit more you seem a lot more keen than your initial post. Go with an open mind but don't be afraid to speak to the staff about any doubts you have. I agree meet some other cats too.
I volunteer at a CP adoption centre and you can reserve cats for 2 days for a small fee-does this rescue do similar so you can have time to think? If you still really are unsure leave it for now as best not to adopt then want to return them a few months down the line.
We adopted our lad in January aged about 10 months (we were used to an older cat as adopted previous aged 6) and my god he was crazy! He has mellowed but does go completely bonkers at times and attack things I'd prefer he didn't but I wouldn't be without him. For you two cats can help entertain each other.

We're heading to visit the cats now. Nervous. Lots of family members visit us with their dogs and MIL doesn't like cats. Argh.

You might be better with one older cat.
They should already be house-trained, need less constant attention (by Christmas it will probably be you doing all the work), and be more of a "known" in terms of character, so easier to work out whether any potential pets would match with your family.

Well they are the most beautiful cats I have ever seen. Hand-reared since 3 weeks old. Litter trained, healthy. Gorgeous. We're going away to talk about it.

Do it!

Aw they sound lovely

I honestly think you should go for it and getting two is a great idea. I always get kittens in pairs - and all have come from rescue centres. I find two are much less work as they amuse themselves a lot of the time.

My current two are brothers and were joined at the hip when we first got them when they were 5 months. Now they are 6 years old and although still close they have developed very different characters. One is a real indoor boy and the other always wants to be outside in the fields.

They are so easy to look after. They have a microchip catflap and come and go as they please. My mum or neighbour feeds them if we are away at any time. The only downside I can think of is their 5.30 am zoomies along our landing!!

I’m an animal lover, much like yourself had everything going as a pet - raced sheep and frogs up the hallway at various stages. We got an older kitten first - she was about 9mths old. I was petrified as I wasn’t sure she like me, but DH had fallen in love with her. The rescue considered her so timid she was unadoptable. We agreed if it didn’t work, we could bring her back. It took work to calm her and get her confidence up, but we love her to bits. We unexpectedly ended up fostering kittens about six months later, and although we didn’t ‘foster fail’ any of them it did get us thinking about number 2. We adopted number two almost a year to the day we adopted cat 1, a small 8 week kitten. They both have distinct personalities, they’re spoilt rotten, and three years on, we are firmly under the paw. They keep each other company, race around unexpectedly like they’re high, and are very affectionate. This morning woke up to them both wedges between us on the bed, cat 2 looking especially proud of himself.
Many cat rescues will allow you (and even encourage you) to return the cats to them if the adoption is unsuccessful, so this minimises the risks if it doesn’t work out.
Good luck in whatever you do x