I’m finding it hard to come to terms with a recent situation, I have an ex, we were together for years and have been broken up for 3, he still pops up now and again in my life as he is close friends with my close friends, my new boyfriend of over 2 years now and I get invited to birthdays and events and we find it hard as my ex is very over the top with my boyfriend and very much so with my bestfriend, in fact every time I try and speak with her my ex pulls her away and I end up not really speaking to her at these events much, if my boyfriend jokes around with the men my ex sulks and someone goes over to him, I’m finding it incredibly hard as most ex’s as supposed to be out your life not constantly cropping up. It wasn’t an issue for the first or 2 year of my new relationship but recently a few people in the mix sex group have become single and so now a group has formed being asked out most weekends, as you can imagine I don’t want to see my ex every weekend and I said I would try and come to the events otherwise I only see my friends on social media posing with him anyway, so I might as well not miss out. It got to the point where I’m out with just my girls from the mix sex group and my ex has turned up as he sees the girls as his friends now too. His texting them before as well while they are out with me. Whenever we go to an event I make a conscious effort to ignore him don’t even say Hi anymore but he always tries coming near me and follows me and my boyfriend around from room to room and I’ve made it clear I don’t want to talk to him by being so blunt but he still tries and speaks to me and he also tells some of my friends ‘I’m over her’ and then others I think there’s unfinished business, I don’t want to confront him because I feel like I will look like the bad person (everyone thinks his innocent and harmless) to all the group and also I don’t want to make him think his got to me, it’s to the point I’m feeling like my friends don’t like me anymore and we aren’t getting invited until very last minute or at all, I was even asked to go on a group holiday, my friends don’t understand once a month or two months I could handle but this is too much! I’m at breaking point, his even trying to talk to my other very close friends (not in this same group) asking them how I am if he bumps into them and how my new work is going after 3 years on, his set up new social media once he found out I blocked him, I find it increasingly annoying and some part of me thinks are my friends partly to blame as I have mentioned I hate it many times, but they seem to say ‘oh that’s just him his so nice’, should they be more loyal? Or are they just being loyal to both of us and my ex using it to his advantage, what can I do to make myself happier, I have OCD and anxiety and I’m scared I’m becoming acutely depressed, I really hope you can help, Ive thought of everything and ask family but no one has an answer! Don’t hold back - if you think I’m in the wrong please say, but please give me advice on how to feel better about it all!
Thank so much!