Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Antisocial kitten?

1 reply

Lilypad15 · 04/10/2018 22:06

I have two kittens, two sisters. They’re both 4.5 months old and we’ve had them for almost 3 weeks. Girl number one has settled in perfectly. She is very loving, adores strokes and belly rubs and will happily climb into your lap and go to sleep. Girl number two, not so much.

She’s better than when she first came home (only ventured from behind the couch for food) and she will now lie on the couch and play with us etc. But she is petrified of any sudden movements. She will happily climb all over me if there’s chicken involved. It’s the only way she will go near anyone. She will on a very rare occasion let you stroke her but she doesn’t tolerate it for long. A couple of times, she’s seemed to forget herself for a moment and appeared quite content (she has the loudest purr I’ve ever heard on a cat!) but other than that, she doesn’t like people being around her.

For example, she was sat next to me just now and I started stroking her and she was purring and rubbing her head on my hand and I moved my leg ever so slightly and she flew off the couch. If you try and stroke her when she’s not distracted by something else, she runs away and hides. She’s not necessarily timid, her and her sister run round play fighting like crazy.

Is she likely to just be an antisocial cat? I know not every cat likes being lavished with cuddles and attention and that’s okay. Is there something we can do to help her feel safer around us? I feel bad when her sister is sat curled on my knee getting stroked and she’s just sat at my feet watching. I suppose if she wanted attention, she’d come and get it but I wonder if something has happened to her when she was younger that’s made her afraid of people or whether it’s most likely just her personality

OP posts:
viccat · 04/10/2018 23:26

What was their background, do you know? Born indoors or rescued as strays from a garden?

Shy kittens can be taught to enjoy a fuss when they are still young. My two were semi-feral when they were rescued and my boy especially really avoided me for ages (I fostered them before adopting them). If she likes to hide, get an "igloo" type soft bed. When she's in it, you can put the whole igloo onto your lap and your hand in and give her a fuss in there. Otherwise, she's still small enough to pick her up and wrap into a towel to hold on your lap, too.

Basically "tough love" - touch her as much as possible and eventually she will realise how nice it is. My boy is now super cuddly and will jump up to the sofa to snuggle up to me; he is still shy of any visitors though. But it really took a long time of persistently annoying him by giving him a fuss in his safe hidey hole beds until he started first tolerating it and then actively seeking it out.

While it's true some cats may always be aloof or shy, while they're still young, it's perfectly possible to shape their personality. Of course to some extent we also have to love them as they are and let them do their own thing - maybe she'll never be a lapcat but she may learn to enjoy sitting next to you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page